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please tell me what you think, and please no harsh comments, as it is my first ever commentary.

Thanks! :p

it's good for a first, but next time i'd try plan out what you're going to say, so then you won't be stuck saying 'erm...' or saying nothing at all
also, try sound more enthusiastic, i know you had a cold but still, it livens up the video haha

ha thanks for the tips man, it really helps me out alot!

Before I read IamTom's comment, I was going to say sound more enthusiastic. Though this is your first commentary, are you are forgiven.

Overall, I think it was a great video and keep up the good work!

thanks man, will try and be more enthusiastic next time

Haha ya it'll help a bit more and you'll get more subs.