Post: What makes a rapper (Jokes)
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12-03-2008, 01:18 AM
#1
Lordafi
Banned
Many people think that rap is the new fad. It was, for a while. But now hating rap is the new fad. Many emo teenagers have taken to hating rap in the quest to be different, thus invariably becoming the majority themselves. This can be seen in the signatures of many people on internet forums (92% of Teens have moved on to rap if you are one of the 8% who listen to real music copy this in your signature
J/K I <3 rap ). The irony is that they think that their emo songs are any better. What makes a rapper? :
Dark skin color.
An annoying/deep voice, it helps if you can sound like you perpetually have a mouthful of oatmeal
10,000 tattoos
Bad grammar and/or words that are hip phonetic misspellings of common words contained within your name. Examples: Dawg/Dogg/dawgggwgg, Phat, E-Z, Busta, etc.
A gang and/or group of other "Rappers"
Acting like you can beat the shit out of absolutely anyone
The ability to brag about getting shot over 9000 times and surviving
Claiming to have a d*ck over 14 inches long
Wearing a color schemed sports outfit
Being from the da Hood or the projects
Having a "grill" filled with golden teeth
Driving an SUV, even though the most rugged terrain it will traverse is a pothole
Wearing gold everything around your neck - gold clock, gold Mercedes hood ornament, gold chains (the technical dexterity of the rapper is proportionate to the cm^3 of gold around his neck)
Trash talking about other rappers and then getting shot, and then doing it again because you're a dumbass.
And absolutely under no circumstances can you use a time signature other than 4/4.
Growing up on the streets
Talk street
[edit] What classifies as a rap song?
Soulja Boy, your typical one hit wonder rap artist. Remember Sysco? Of course you don't.For a song to classify as rap, one must be able to identify most or all of the following elements:
A list of felonies
Ebonics
Swearing every other line
The word "Yeah" repeated over 9,000 times; any less, and it's not rap
Even though not in concert, you must use phrases that refer to you being in an actual concert, such as "Put ya' hands in da' air"
Lyrics or titles containing the pseudomorph "Da", as in, "Da Cops was Aksin' Me!"
Multiple references to some sort of "hood"
Lyrics about raping white women in KFC (they were asking for it which is always the case)
The word "Nigga" repeated over 9,001 times; and, as before, any less is not rap
Mutha****a and **** have to be said 1337 times or it is not rap
Police sirens
Singing about hard times
Basic Rhymes
Stealing other people's work and mix it in with random sounds
Having at least 100 horny women with big asses in the video
The story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down.
If its modern rap, have a Roland Drum machine that do a beat sample played at a bat-shit crazy tempo, and then say how you're tired of using technology.
A dance that involves being so low to the ground that you get trampled by a retard that is doing it wrong.
Gibberish
No singing. Just talk as if you were talking to yourself when nobody's around to hear it.
Rules of rap
1. All rap songs are ripoffs of other songs.
2. Retards. Attempting. Poetry.
3. Filler
4. Think that all white rappers suck, no exceptions!
5. You gotta be originality bad
6. If your not gangster, you don't belong.
7. Sing about bitches, even if the only woman you know is your MOM.
Here is a video of a famous rapper : Lil' Wayne (Spoof video, the rappers in this video are actors
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So, if you like this post, if it made you laugh, even a little, and you'd like to read something like this later, please thank&nominate
Enjoy,
Lordafi
12-03-2008, 01:29 AM
#2
Faux Power
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