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The Pope walks into a bar. The bartender says, what'll ya have, Pope? But the Pope's grasp of English is tenuous at best, so he mumbles something in Latin. The bartender doesn't know any Latin. The Pope gets frustrated and leaves.

"Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?"

"No."

"Well, it's really nice."

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

A Jew is a person adhering to the Jewish faith and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, usually circular bread covered with tomato sauce and cheese with optional garnishes.
How do you confuse a blonde?

Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

How do you make a swiss roll?

Generally it involves a thin layer of sponge cake and a layer of either jam or cream. The resulting flat cheet of cake and cream is then rolled into a cylinder. It's quite delicious, actually.

How do you drown a blonde?

Hold her head underwater until she can no longer breathe and stops struggling.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because it was just the decomposing remains of a long forgotten murder case in a remote field.

A duck walks into a bar...

Animal control is promptly called, the duck is then taken to a near by park and released.

Why did the deaf man take his parrot to work?

He was weird.


What's the difference between a post box and a vagina?


A post box is a public container for the deposit of outgoing mail, and a vagina is the passage leading from the opening of the vulva to the cervix of the uterus in female mammals.


A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies:
"I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existance and the extent to which I am now protected by law."


A chicken begins crossing the street and is hit by several fast moving metal boxes with wheels.

I laughed at how stupid these sound. lol

these are all jokes for smartasses, this is full of too much sarcasm.

these jokes were all stupid... pointless... not funny by ANY means

sorry FAIL

Too much sarcasm... I have to agree with CodFather

Agree with everyone else.

Too smart assy.

They're so unfunny they're funny xD

Blonde one, lol..