(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); I've searched long and hard and found some great comebacks! Most of them are quite funny!!

Seen on T-Shirts:

So Few Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me

Coffee, Chocolate, Men...Some Things are Just Better Rich

Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship

I was born at night but not last night.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame it on you!

My answer is right it is your question that is wrong.

Some Insults:

Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date.

~~~~~

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

~~~~~

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

~~~~~

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman

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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
~~ Henny Youngman

~~~~~

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
~~ Henny Youngman

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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
-- Henny Youngman

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Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either.
Just leave me the heck alone.

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You look like a million bucks! (All green and wrinkled.)

~~~~~

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.

~~~~~

I never forget a face...but in your case I'll make an exception!

~~~~~

What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

~~~~~

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

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100,000 sperm to choose from, and you were the fastest.

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I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet.

~~~~~

I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.

~~~~~

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

~~~~~

"What's the latest dope on Wall Street?"
"My son!"

Snappy:
Does your stream of consciousness have any fish in it?

Ah! I see the memo fairy has visited us again.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

How about never? Is never good for you?

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

No, my powers can never be used for good.

You sound reasonable. Time to up the medication.

Who me? I just wander from room to room

And your crybaby, whiney-butt opinion would be?

Do I look like a people person?

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.

You! Off my planet!

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

I am a PBS mind in an MTV world.

Allow me to introduce my selves.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

Well, your day is a total waste of makeup.

Not all managers are annoying. Some are dead.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

Stress is when you wake up screaming, and you realize you
haven't fallen asleep yet.

Can I trade this job for what's behind door Number 1?

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Nice cologne. Must you marinate in it?

Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done

How do I set a laser printer on "stun"?

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

Sources:
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SUBMITTE
My next comeback will be down your mothers throat in a second if you dont SHUDDAFUGGUP (MBO)
Your mom goes to college. (koolkarpet)

Now I need your help! Reply to this post with any good comebacks that you know and that are not in this thread...:rolleyes::dance:

Your mom goes to college.

hahaha i hope so!!

Haha, I've remembered some I may use in the future

LMao at these :y:

Lmao these are so cheesy :/ but they kida make you laugh at the stupidity

My next comeback will be down your mothers throat in a second if you dont SHUDDAFUGGUP

Love it!!!! :y: