Post: Dave Facts!
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02-26-2012, 11:23 PM
#1
MikeOxBig
-Laim
Day 1 (26/02/2012):
DaveFact#1: Dave DOES know the muffin man
DaveFact#2: Dave counted to infinity, twice.
DaveFact#3: Dave doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
DaveFact#4: Some kids piss their name in the snow, Dave can piss his name in conrete
DaveFact#5: Leading hand cleaners claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs, Dave can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
DaveFact#6: Dave's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
DaveFact#7: Dave can speak braille.
DaveFact#8: Dave's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, nobody fools Dave.
DaveFact#9: Dave does not sleep. He waits.
DaveFact#10: Dave can delete the recycling bin.
DaveFact#11: Dave can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves.
DaveFact#12: Dave has specified in his will that if he dies, he will bury himself.
DaveFact#13: When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Dave
DaveFact#14: They're making a sequel to 300 starring Dave. It's called 1.
DaveFact#15: Dave can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
DaveFact#16: Fire escapes were invented to protect fire from Dave.
DaveFact#17: Once, a cobra bit Dave on the leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
DaveFact#18: Dave can squeeze orange juice for a lemon.
DaveFact#19: If you spell Dave wrong on Google, it doesn't say "Did you mean Dave?". It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance"
DaveFact#20: Dave runs Snow Leopard on his Etch-a-Sketch.
DaveFact#21: If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Dave says it's beef, then it's fucking beef!
DaveFact#22: Dave can slam revolving doors.
DaveFact#23: Giraffes were created when Dave uppercutted a horse.
DaveFact#24: Dave does not hun because the word 'hunting' implies the possibility of failure. Dave goes killing.
DaveFact#25: Dave does read books. He stares them down until they give him the information he wants.
DaveFact#26: Dave can kill two stones with one bird.
DaveFact#27: Death once had a near-Dave experience.
DaveFact#28: When Dave gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
DaveFact#29: Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Dave's PC will crash.
DaveFact#30: Dave does not have hair on his body, because hair does not grow on steel.
DaveFact#31: Dave can strangle you with a cordless phone.
DaveFact#32: Ghosts are caused because Dave kills people faster than Death can process them.
DaveFact#33: Dave is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
DaveFact#34: Dave can play the violin with a piano.
DaveFact#35: Dave is always on top during sex because Dave never fucks up.
DaveFact#36: The best part of waking up is knowing that Dave didn't kill you in your sleep.
DaveFact#37: Dave can touch MC Hammer.
DaveFact#38: Dave can build a snowman out of rain.
DaveFact#39: The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they've just entered a world with Dave.
DaveFact#40: Dave can drown a fish.
DaveFact#41: Dave is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Dave.
DaveFact#42: When Dave enters a room, he doesn't turn a light on, he turns the dark off.
DaveFact#43: The last digit of Pi is Dave. He is the end of all things.
DaveFact#44: The world wont end in 2012, only when Dave gets bored.
DaveFact#45: Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Dave.
DaveFact#46: Dave doesn't need a miracle to split the ocean, he walks in and the ocean gets the fuck out of the way.
DaveFact#47: Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Dave can throw Brett Favre even further.
DaveFact#48: Dave doesn't use pick up lines, he simply says "Now".
DaveFact#49: The quickest way to a mans heart is with Daves fist.
DaveFact#50: Dave can tie his shoes with his feet.
DaveFact#51: The chief export of Dave is pain.
DaveFact#52: Dave doesn't play "hide-and-seek". He plays "hide-and-pray-i-dont-find-you".
Users DaveFacts:
RiKiMaRuE223: Dave can get 5 replies but 0 views because people cannot see dave, he sees you.
Samberg: Dave CAn superban this supermod.
Gary-: Dave doesn't have a skin colour, a skin colour has Dave.
Ninja: Dave makes naruto look like a troll.
Kammmmi: Dave doesn't find news to post, the news finds him.
Hondarydr: When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Dave.
LG Ayee: Dave was a member of NGU before Outsider.
Luffy*: Dave doesn't wait, wait does Dave
LTBadBoy: You don't watch Dave "The Home of Witty Banter." Dave "The Home of Witty Banter" watches you.
iTzTJCOOL: Dave dosent learn a foreign language the language learns him.
Obstinate Fear: Dave has a xbox live account... on playstation.
Hannah: Dave knows what Willis is talking about.
Hannah: Dave knows if it's an African or European unladen swallow.
Hannah: Dave expects the Spanish Inquisition.
HOUstoner: Dave is his own father.
X-Ray: Dave once fought with Chuck Norris this is known today as the big bang.
Lovol: Lobbies verify Dave
Poynt: Daves orgasm is the number one cause of drowning among women between the ages of 18-35.
Convex10: Dave can read Braille with no hands.
Crunk: Dave and Chuck Norris met once.. Chuck Norris fell to his knees and said "Father.."
Crunk: God built the universe in a week, Chuck Norris built God in an hour, Dave built all of the above before Chuck Norris could blink.
Juzzy: Dave does not swim in the ocean, the ocean swims in Dave
The following 31 users say thank you to MikeOxBig for this useful post:
02-26-2012, 11:58 PM
#11
Pichu
PICHU.
PICHU.
Originally posted by MikeOxBig
For the past few weeks I've been collecting DaveFacts, some of them are original, some of them used before. Hopefully every day for the next week I'll be releasing 50 facts a day about Dave. I will also add a spoiler for other users and they will be added to the thread as long as they're funny or to some sense of humor.
Day 1 (26/02/2012):
DaveFact#1: Dave DOES know the muffin man
DaveFact#2: Dave counted to infinity, twice.
DaveFact#3: Dave doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
DaveFact#4: Some kids piss their name in the snow, Dave can piss his name in conrete
DaveFact#5: Leading hand cleaners claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs, Dave can kill 100 percent of whatever the $#@! he wants.
DaveFact#6: Dave's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
DaveFact#7: Dave can speak braille.
DaveFact#8: Dave's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, nobody fools Dave.
DaveFact#9: Dave does not sleep. He waits.
DaveFact#10: Dave can delete the recycling bin.
DaveFact#11: Dave can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves.
DaveFact#12: Dave has specified in his will that if he dies, he will bury himself.
DaveFact#13: When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Dave
DaveFact#14: They're making a sequel to 300 starring Dave. It's called 1.
DaveFact#15: Dave can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
DaveFact#16: Fire escapes were invented to protect fire from Dave.
DaveFact#17: Once, a cobra bit Dave on the leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
DaveFact#18: Dave can squeeze orange juice for a lemon.
DaveFact#19: If you spell Dave wrong on Google, it doesn't say "Did you mean Dave?". It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance"
DaveFact#20: Dave runs Snow Leopard on his Etch-a-Sketch.
DaveFact#21: If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Dave says it's beef, then it's $#@!ing beef!
DaveFact#22: Dave can slam revolving doors.
DaveFact#23: Giraffes were created when Dave uppercutted a horse.
DaveFact#24: Dave does not hun because the word 'hunting' implies the possibility of failure. Dave goes killing.
DaveFact#25: Dave does read books. He stares them down until they give him the information he wants.
DaveFact#26: Dave can kill two stones with one bird.
DaveFact#27: Death once had a near-Dave experience.
DaveFact#28: When Dave gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
DaveFact#29: Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Dave's PC will crash.
DaveFact#30: Dave does not have hair on his body, because hair does not grow on steel.
DaveFact#31: Dave can strangle you with a cordless phone.
DaveFact#32: Ghosts are caused because Dave kills people faster than Death can process them.
DaveFact#33: Dave is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
DaveFact#34: Dave can play the violin with a piano.
DaveFact#35: Dave is always on top during sex because Dave never $#@!s up.
DaveFact#36: The best part of waking up is knowing that Dave didn't kill you in your sleep.
DaveFact#37: Dave can touch MC Hammer.
DaveFact#38: Dave can build a snowman out of rain.
DaveFact#39: The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they've just entered a world with Dave.
DaveFact#40: Dave can drown a fish.
DaveFact#41: Dave is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Dave.
DaveFact#42: When Dave enters a room, he doesn't turn a light on, he turns the dark off.
DaveFact#43: The last digit of Pi is Dave. He is the end of all things.
DaveFact#44: The world wont end in 2012, only when Dave gets bored.
DaveFact#45: Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Dave.
DaveFact#46: Dave doesn't need a miracle to split the ocean, he walks in and the ocean gets the $#@! out of the way.
DaveFact#47: Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Dave can throw Brett Favre even further.
DaveFact#48: Dave doesn't use pick up lines, he simply says "Now".
DaveFact#49: The quickest way to a mans heart is with Daves fist.
DaveFact#50: Dave can tie his shoes with his feet.
DaveFact#51: The chief export of Dave is pain.
DaveFact#52: Dave doesn't play "hide-and-seek". He plays "hide-and-pray-i-dont-find-you".
Users DaveFacts:
RiKiMaRuE223: Dave can get 5 replies but 0 views because people cannot see dave, he sees you.
Samberg: Dave CAn superban this supermod.
Gary-: Dave doesn't have a skin colour, a skin colour has Dave.
Day 1 (26/02/2012):
DaveFact#1: Dave DOES know the muffin man
DaveFact#2: Dave counted to infinity, twice.
DaveFact#3: Dave doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
DaveFact#4: Some kids piss their name in the snow, Dave can piss his name in conrete
DaveFact#5: Leading hand cleaners claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs, Dave can kill 100 percent of whatever the $#@! he wants.
DaveFact#6: Dave's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
DaveFact#7: Dave can speak braille.
DaveFact#8: Dave's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, nobody fools Dave.
DaveFact#9: Dave does not sleep. He waits.
DaveFact#10: Dave can delete the recycling bin.
DaveFact#11: Dave can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves.
DaveFact#12: Dave has specified in his will that if he dies, he will bury himself.
DaveFact#13: When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Dave
DaveFact#14: They're making a sequel to 300 starring Dave. It's called 1.
DaveFact#15: Dave can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
DaveFact#16: Fire escapes were invented to protect fire from Dave.
DaveFact#17: Once, a cobra bit Dave on the leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
DaveFact#18: Dave can squeeze orange juice for a lemon.
DaveFact#19: If you spell Dave wrong on Google, it doesn't say "Did you mean Dave?". It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance"
DaveFact#20: Dave runs Snow Leopard on his Etch-a-Sketch.
DaveFact#21: If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Dave says it's beef, then it's $#@!ing beef!
DaveFact#22: Dave can slam revolving doors.
DaveFact#23: Giraffes were created when Dave uppercutted a horse.
DaveFact#24: Dave does not hun because the word 'hunting' implies the possibility of failure. Dave goes killing.
DaveFact#25: Dave does read books. He stares them down until they give him the information he wants.
DaveFact#26: Dave can kill two stones with one bird.
DaveFact#27: Death once had a near-Dave experience.
DaveFact#28: When Dave gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
DaveFact#29: Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Dave's PC will crash.
DaveFact#30: Dave does not have hair on his body, because hair does not grow on steel.
DaveFact#31: Dave can strangle you with a cordless phone.
DaveFact#32: Ghosts are caused because Dave kills people faster than Death can process them.
DaveFact#33: Dave is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
DaveFact#34: Dave can play the violin with a piano.
DaveFact#35: Dave is always on top during sex because Dave never $#@!s up.
DaveFact#36: The best part of waking up is knowing that Dave didn't kill you in your sleep.
DaveFact#37: Dave can touch MC Hammer.
DaveFact#38: Dave can build a snowman out of rain.
DaveFact#39: The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they've just entered a world with Dave.
DaveFact#40: Dave can drown a fish.
DaveFact#41: Dave is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Dave.
DaveFact#42: When Dave enters a room, he doesn't turn a light on, he turns the dark off.
DaveFact#43: The last digit of Pi is Dave. He is the end of all things.
DaveFact#44: The world wont end in 2012, only when Dave gets bored.
DaveFact#45: Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Dave.
DaveFact#46: Dave doesn't need a miracle to split the ocean, he walks in and the ocean gets the $#@! out of the way.
DaveFact#47: Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Dave can throw Brett Favre even further.
DaveFact#48: Dave doesn't use pick up lines, he simply says "Now".
DaveFact#49: The quickest way to a mans heart is with Daves fist.
DaveFact#50: Dave can tie his shoes with his feet.
DaveFact#51: The chief export of Dave is pain.
DaveFact#52: Dave doesn't play "hide-and-seek". He plays "hide-and-pray-i-dont-find-you".
Users DaveFacts:
RiKiMaRuE223: Dave can get 5 replies but 0 views because people cannot see dave, he sees you.
Samberg: Dave CAn superban this supermod.
Gary-: Dave doesn't have a skin colour, a skin colour has Dave.
Dave is gay. :carling:
02-26-2012, 11:59 PM
#12
Originally posted by MikeOxBig
For the past few weeks I've been collecting DaveFacts, some of them are original, some of them used before. Hopefully every day for the next week I'll be releasing 50 facts a day about Dave. I will also add a spoiler for other users and they will be added to the thread as long as they're funny or to some sense of humor.
Day 1 (26/02/2012):
DaveFact#1: Dave DOES know the muffin man
DaveFact#2: Dave counted to infinity, twice.
DaveFact#3: Dave doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
DaveFact#4: Some kids piss their name in the snow, Dave can piss his name in conrete
DaveFact#5: Leading hand cleaners claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs, Dave can kill 100 percent of whatever the $#@! he wants.
DaveFact#6: Dave's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
DaveFact#7: Dave can speak braille.
DaveFact#8: Dave's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, nobody fools Dave.
DaveFact#9: Dave does not sleep. He waits.
DaveFact#10: Dave can delete the recycling bin.
DaveFact#11: Dave can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves.
DaveFact#12: Dave has specified in his will that if he dies, he will bury himself.
DaveFact#13: When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Dave
DaveFact#14: They're making a sequel to 300 starring Dave. It's called 1.
DaveFact#15: Dave can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
DaveFact#16: Fire escapes were invented to protect fire from Dave.
DaveFact#17: Once, a cobra bit Dave on the leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
DaveFact#18: Dave can squeeze orange juice for a lemon.
DaveFact#19: If you spell Dave wrong on Google, it doesn't say "Did you mean Dave?". It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance"
DaveFact#20: Dave runs Snow Leopard on his Etch-a-Sketch.
DaveFact#21: If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Dave says it's beef, then it's $#@!ing beef!
DaveFact#22: Dave can slam revolving doors.
DaveFact#23: Giraffes were created when Dave uppercutted a horse.
DaveFact#24: Dave does not hun because the word 'hunting' implies the possibility of failure. Dave goes killing.
DaveFact#25: Dave does read books. He stares them down until they give him the information he wants.
DaveFact#26: Dave can kill two stones with one bird.
DaveFact#27: Death once had a near-Dave experience.
DaveFact#28: When Dave gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
DaveFact#29: Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Dave's PC will crash.
DaveFact#30: Dave does not have hair on his body, because hair does not grow on steel.
DaveFact#31: Dave can strangle you with a cordless phone.
DaveFact#32: Ghosts are caused because Dave kills people faster than Death can process them.
DaveFact#33: Dave is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
DaveFact#34: Dave can play the violin with a piano.
DaveFact#35: Dave is always on top during sex because Dave never $#@!s up.
DaveFact#36: The best part of waking up is knowing that Dave didn't kill you in your sleep.
DaveFact#37: Dave can touch MC Hammer.
DaveFact#38: Dave can build a snowman out of rain.
DaveFact#39: The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they've just entered a world with Dave.
DaveFact#40: Dave can drown a fish.
DaveFact#41: Dave is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Dave.
DaveFact#42: When Dave enters a room, he doesn't turn a light on, he turns the dark off.
DaveFact#43: The last digit of Pi is Dave. He is the end of all things.
DaveFact#44: The world wont end in 2012, only when Dave gets bored.
DaveFact#45: Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Dave.
DaveFact#46: Dave doesn't need a miracle to split the ocean, he walks in and the ocean gets the $#@! out of the way.
DaveFact#47: Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Dave can throw Brett Favre even further.
DaveFact#48: Dave doesn't use pick up lines, he simply says "Now".
DaveFact#49: The quickest way to a mans heart is with Daves fist.
DaveFact#50: Dave can tie his shoes with his feet.
DaveFact#51: The chief export of Dave is pain.
DaveFact#52: Dave doesn't play "hide-and-seek". He plays "hide-and-pray-i-dont-find-you".
Users DaveFacts:
RiKiMaRuE223: Dave can get 5 replies but 0 views because people cannot see dave, he sees you.
Samberg: Dave CAn superban this supermod.
Gary-: Dave doesn't have a skin colour, a skin colour has Dave.
Day 1 (26/02/2012):
DaveFact#1: Dave DOES know the muffin man
DaveFact#2: Dave counted to infinity, twice.
DaveFact#3: Dave doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
DaveFact#4: Some kids piss their name in the snow, Dave can piss his name in conrete
DaveFact#5: Leading hand cleaners claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs, Dave can kill 100 percent of whatever the $#@! he wants.
DaveFact#6: Dave's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
DaveFact#7: Dave can speak braille.
DaveFact#8: Dave's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, nobody fools Dave.
DaveFact#9: Dave does not sleep. He waits.
DaveFact#10: Dave can delete the recycling bin.
DaveFact#11: Dave can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves.
DaveFact#12: Dave has specified in his will that if he dies, he will bury himself.
DaveFact#13: When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Dave
DaveFact#14: They're making a sequel to 300 starring Dave. It's called 1.
DaveFact#15: Dave can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
DaveFact#16: Fire escapes were invented to protect fire from Dave.
DaveFact#17: Once, a cobra bit Dave on the leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
DaveFact#18: Dave can squeeze orange juice for a lemon.
DaveFact#19: If you spell Dave wrong on Google, it doesn't say "Did you mean Dave?". It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance"
DaveFact#20: Dave runs Snow Leopard on his Etch-a-Sketch.
DaveFact#21: If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Dave says it's beef, then it's $#@!ing beef!
DaveFact#22: Dave can slam revolving doors.
DaveFact#23: Giraffes were created when Dave uppercutted a horse.
DaveFact#24: Dave does not hun because the word 'hunting' implies the possibility of failure. Dave goes killing.
DaveFact#25: Dave does read books. He stares them down until they give him the information he wants.
DaveFact#26: Dave can kill two stones with one bird.
DaveFact#27: Death once had a near-Dave experience.
DaveFact#28: When Dave gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
DaveFact#29: Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Dave's PC will crash.
DaveFact#30: Dave does not have hair on his body, because hair does not grow on steel.
DaveFact#31: Dave can strangle you with a cordless phone.
DaveFact#32: Ghosts are caused because Dave kills people faster than Death can process them.
DaveFact#33: Dave is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
DaveFact#34: Dave can play the violin with a piano.
DaveFact#35: Dave is always on top during sex because Dave never $#@!s up.
DaveFact#36: The best part of waking up is knowing that Dave didn't kill you in your sleep.
DaveFact#37: Dave can touch MC Hammer.
DaveFact#38: Dave can build a snowman out of rain.
DaveFact#39: The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they've just entered a world with Dave.
DaveFact#40: Dave can drown a fish.
DaveFact#41: Dave is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Dave.
DaveFact#42: When Dave enters a room, he doesn't turn a light on, he turns the dark off.
DaveFact#43: The last digit of Pi is Dave. He is the end of all things.
DaveFact#44: The world wont end in 2012, only when Dave gets bored.
DaveFact#45: Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Dave.
DaveFact#46: Dave doesn't need a miracle to split the ocean, he walks in and the ocean gets the $#@! out of the way.
DaveFact#47: Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Dave can throw Brett Favre even further.
DaveFact#48: Dave doesn't use pick up lines, he simply says "Now".
DaveFact#49: The quickest way to a mans heart is with Daves fist.
DaveFact#50: Dave can tie his shoes with his feet.
DaveFact#51: The chief export of Dave is pain.
DaveFact#52: Dave doesn't play "hide-and-seek". He plays "hide-and-pray-i-dont-find-you".
Users DaveFacts:
RiKiMaRuE223: Dave can get 5 replies but 0 views because people cannot see dave, he sees you.
Samberg: Dave CAn superban this supermod.
Gary-: Dave doesn't have a skin colour, a skin colour has Dave.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Dave.
The following 16 users say thank you to Hondarydr for this useful post:
02-27-2012, 12:59 AM
#15
NeedaPVHAXSoon
Guest
02-27-2012, 01:20 AM
#17
Originally posted by MikeOxBig
For the past few weeks I've been collecting DaveFacts, some of them are original, some of them used before. Hopefully every day for the next week I'll be releasing 50 facts a day about Dave. I will also add a spoiler for other users and they will be added to the thread as long as they're funny or to some sense of humor.
Day 1 (26/02/2012):
DaveFact#1: Dave DOES know the muffin man
DaveFact#2: Dave counted to infinity, twice.
DaveFact#3: Dave doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
DaveFact#4: Some kids piss their name in the snow, Dave can piss his name in conrete
DaveFact#5: Leading hand cleaners claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs, Dave can kill 100 percent of whatever the $#@! he wants.
DaveFact#6: Dave's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
DaveFact#7: Dave can speak braille.
DaveFact#8: Dave's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, nobody fools Dave.
DaveFact#9: Dave does not sleep. He waits.
DaveFact#10: Dave can delete the recycling bin.
DaveFact#11: Dave can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves.
DaveFact#12: Dave has specified in his will that if he dies, he will bury himself.
DaveFact#13: When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Dave
DaveFact#14: They're making a sequel to 300 starring Dave. It's called 1.
DaveFact#15: Dave can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
DaveFact#16: Fire escapes were invented to protect fire from Dave.
DaveFact#17: Once, a cobra bit Dave on the leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
DaveFact#18: Dave can squeeze orange juice for a lemon.
DaveFact#19: If you spell Dave wrong on Google, it doesn't say "Did you mean Dave?". It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance"
DaveFact#20: Dave runs Snow Leopard on his Etch-a-Sketch.
DaveFact#21: If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Dave says it's beef, then it's $#@!ing beef!
DaveFact#22: Dave can slam revolving doors.
DaveFact#23: Giraffes were created when Dave uppercutted a horse.
DaveFact#24: Dave does not hun because the word 'hunting' implies the possibility of failure. Dave goes killing.
DaveFact#25: Dave does read books. He stares them down until they give him the information he wants.
DaveFact#26: Dave can kill two stones with one bird.
DaveFact#27: Death once had a near-Dave experience.
DaveFact#28: When Dave gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
DaveFact#29: Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Dave's PC will crash.
DaveFact#30: Dave does not have hair on his body, because hair does not grow on steel.
DaveFact#31: Dave can strangle you with a cordless phone.
DaveFact#32: Ghosts are caused because Dave kills people faster than Death can process them.
DaveFact#33: Dave is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
DaveFact#34: Dave can play the violin with a piano.
DaveFact#35: Dave is always on top during sex because Dave never $#@!s up.
DaveFact#36: The best part of waking up is knowing that Dave didn't kill you in your sleep.
DaveFact#37: Dave can touch MC Hammer.
DaveFact#38: Dave can build a snowman out of rain.
DaveFact#39: The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they've just entered a world with Dave.
DaveFact#40: Dave can drown a fish.
DaveFact#41: Dave is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Dave.
DaveFact#42: When Dave enters a room, he doesn't turn a light on, he turns the dark off.
DaveFact#43: The last digit of Pi is Dave. He is the end of all things.
DaveFact#44: The world wont end in 2012, only when Dave gets bored.
DaveFact#45: Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Dave.
DaveFact#46: Dave doesn't need a miracle to split the ocean, he walks in and the ocean gets the $#@! out of the way.
DaveFact#47: Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Dave can throw Brett Favre even further.
DaveFact#48: Dave doesn't use pick up lines, he simply says "Now".
DaveFact#49: The quickest way to a mans heart is with Daves fist.
DaveFact#50: Dave can tie his shoes with his feet.
DaveFact#51: The chief export of Dave is pain.
DaveFact#52: Dave doesn't play "hide-and-seek". He plays "hide-and-pray-i-dont-find-you".
Users DaveFacts:
RiKiMaRuE223: Dave can get 5 replies but 0 views because people cannot see dave, he sees you.
Samberg: Dave CAn superban this supermod.
Gary-: Dave doesn't have a skin colour, a skin colour has Dave.
Ninja: Dave makes naruto look like a troll.
Kammmmi: Dave doesn't find news to post, the news finds him.
Hondarydr: When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Dave.
Day 1 (26/02/2012):
DaveFact#1: Dave DOES know the muffin man
DaveFact#2: Dave counted to infinity, twice.
DaveFact#3: Dave doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
DaveFact#4: Some kids piss their name in the snow, Dave can piss his name in conrete
DaveFact#5: Leading hand cleaners claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs, Dave can kill 100 percent of whatever the $#@! he wants.
DaveFact#6: Dave's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
DaveFact#7: Dave can speak braille.
DaveFact#8: Dave's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, nobody fools Dave.
DaveFact#9: Dave does not sleep. He waits.
DaveFact#10: Dave can delete the recycling bin.
DaveFact#11: Dave can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves.
DaveFact#12: Dave has specified in his will that if he dies, he will bury himself.
DaveFact#13: When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Dave
DaveFact#14: They're making a sequel to 300 starring Dave. It's called 1.
DaveFact#15: Dave can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
DaveFact#16: Fire escapes were invented to protect fire from Dave.
DaveFact#17: Once, a cobra bit Dave on the leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
DaveFact#18: Dave can squeeze orange juice for a lemon.
DaveFact#19: If you spell Dave wrong on Google, it doesn't say "Did you mean Dave?". It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance"
DaveFact#20: Dave runs Snow Leopard on his Etch-a-Sketch.
DaveFact#21: If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Dave says it's beef, then it's $#@!ing beef!
DaveFact#22: Dave can slam revolving doors.
DaveFact#23: Giraffes were created when Dave uppercutted a horse.
DaveFact#24: Dave does not hun because the word 'hunting' implies the possibility of failure. Dave goes killing.
DaveFact#25: Dave does read books. He stares them down until they give him the information he wants.
DaveFact#26: Dave can kill two stones with one bird.
DaveFact#27: Death once had a near-Dave experience.
DaveFact#28: When Dave gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
DaveFact#29: Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Dave's PC will crash.
DaveFact#30: Dave does not have hair on his body, because hair does not grow on steel.
DaveFact#31: Dave can strangle you with a cordless phone.
DaveFact#32: Ghosts are caused because Dave kills people faster than Death can process them.
DaveFact#33: Dave is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
DaveFact#34: Dave can play the violin with a piano.
DaveFact#35: Dave is always on top during sex because Dave never $#@!s up.
DaveFact#36: The best part of waking up is knowing that Dave didn't kill you in your sleep.
DaveFact#37: Dave can touch MC Hammer.
DaveFact#38: Dave can build a snowman out of rain.
DaveFact#39: The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they've just entered a world with Dave.
DaveFact#40: Dave can drown a fish.
DaveFact#41: Dave is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Dave.
DaveFact#42: When Dave enters a room, he doesn't turn a light on, he turns the dark off.
DaveFact#43: The last digit of Pi is Dave. He is the end of all things.
DaveFact#44: The world wont end in 2012, only when Dave gets bored.
DaveFact#45: Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Dave.
DaveFact#46: Dave doesn't need a miracle to split the ocean, he walks in and the ocean gets the $#@! out of the way.
DaveFact#47: Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Dave can throw Brett Favre even further.
DaveFact#48: Dave doesn't use pick up lines, he simply says "Now".
DaveFact#49: The quickest way to a mans heart is with Daves fist.
DaveFact#50: Dave can tie his shoes with his feet.
DaveFact#51: The chief export of Dave is pain.
DaveFact#52: Dave doesn't play "hide-and-seek". He plays "hide-and-pray-i-dont-find-you".
Users DaveFacts:
RiKiMaRuE223: Dave can get 5 replies but 0 views because people cannot see dave, he sees you.
Samberg: Dave CAn superban this supermod.
Gary-: Dave doesn't have a skin colour, a skin colour has Dave.
Ninja: Dave makes naruto look like a troll.
Kammmmi: Dave doesn't find news to post, the news finds him.
Hondarydr: When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Dave.
:fyea:
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