so that never happened

Be at friends house with a couple male and female acquaintances including gf. Be drunk. Be too drunk. Go back to Gfs place. Plop down onto her bed. Vibration causes me to get nauseous. Pick up her purse on the chair next to her bed. Puke in it. Sleep.

Visit my friend at uni, with another friend of mine, go out on the town all 8 of us. Get back home about 3:30-4:00, Literally everyone bar me and my uni mate pile into one room and have an orgy. Ill be honest I dodged a bullet on that one.

Ive never been drunk to be honest. When I say drunk, I mean DRUNK like stupid drunk. I've gotten so close to it for my brothers 21st bday party, I was 16 at the time. Im 19 now. When I drink though, I dont drink to get retarded drunk. I just chill and drink slowly and as soon as I notice the beers or whatever im drinking hitting me, I stop because most of the time, im the DD for the trip home.

Like I said though, the closest I got to was for my brothers 21st bday party. The stupidest thing I remember doing was trying to get my brothers friends gf drunk so I would've been able to F the shit out of her, LOL. I was 16, come on....

Hmmm my weirdest drunk moment? Sad to say I've had quite a few. So it was my sr. prom afterparty, it was at some guys loft.. Which happened to be in a pretty sketchy part of town (this guys place was a 5 min walk from a strip club). I think I brought 6 tallboys of faxe 10, which is for those who don't know it's 10% alcoholic beer. I drank all of them (i know.. Bad idea). This was my first time getting really drunk, so as you probably already guessed, I made even more bad decisions. Not wanting this awesome feeling to end, I approached anyone who had liquor and tried to get them to spot me some. Apparently I also smoked up a few grams of weed as well. I don't remember anything past that (Blacked out), so I had to ask my friends a few days after to fill in the blanks. Apparently I grabbed one of the beers I was drinking and went up to my friend who was about to rip a bowl and nicked my can into his bong yelling "cheers!", Spun around in the middle of the room saying "look at me I'm breakdancing", walking around with a plastic bag around my neck so I didn't have to go to the bathroom to puke, puked on some little girls bicycle (this was outside after I was thrown out), told the hottest girl in school that I loved her, and almost got hit by a few taxi cabs. My drink count was six faxe 10's, half a bottle of canadian club, a few shots of some weird tasting Asian liquor, some vodka and a few grams of weed. worst decision of my life

I called my ex-wife's mom a horse face old hag. Never really liked her. I could had done it sober.

Stood outside a fruit shop laughing at a man putting out a sign for cheap apples.

This one time I dranked a whole alcohol, I don't like to brag but it was pretty badass.