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I always found myself wanting to avoid posts like these for a number of reasons. For starters I disliked these sort of posts because I always want to write more. Every time I proof read it always want to add something in but it ruins the flow. As a result it very quickly deleted, maybe that me being harsh removing some great discussion material. I do know that I suck at introductions when it comes to posts like these and that second reason.
Third along with four reason are at the train station right now leaving as this turns into a rant post with little or no subsistence.

That was me trying to put a more light hearted tone this subject.
What am about to write, it's going to be my journey with grief.
For people who don't know I suffered a loss of a parent earlier this year.
Statistics point to the how it's a very common thing when you're 40-50 , but for me I was unlucky in being one of the outliers.

We all have to deal with grief at some point , some of us sooner and more often compared to others.
First thing I have to say is that newest journey has made me understand that this process changes per case. Some may tell you that grief has a fixed number of stages along with overall pacing. Sorry to say that not true , for some that may be true but in my experience no.

Grief is a process of getting used to change , along with handling the emotionally felt pain. Couple of things I can tell you it does poison you if you let it. I went through a couple stages in which I removed all my joy with motivation.
You need to be around your friends/family during this period, even if it not talking about the event which caused it's better than being alone.
For me I found the best way forward is humour , joking about past memories and remembering the good times. I do have some pretty awful moments which I wish to forgive it did make the whole process a ton harder.
Also it's a process which takes a massive amount of time things are going to appear which make you remember. I had stages in which even little things like staring at the night sky have done it.

I'm still on going with this process, this 3rd time I even talked about it on this site. Other 2 times have been in the shoutbox with me going 'My mum died' or something so simple. Alot of people may think it painful for me to talk about reality is it not. Not talking about it does far more harm I found.

So why talk about it now well you know the little things I said that make you remember a big one is coming up. Just felt like getting this off my chest along with showing a human side to this faceless name. May not even post this.
For people who are curious not posting this


Time is precious enjoy your time with your mum or dad they only mean the best for you. Love them with all your heart , even if they don't show it to you. Because deep down they do, it going to take a couple of years before you notice it but it true.
Only get one set of family in the end smile, laugh and do as they ask within reason.


Think this sums up it pretty nicely

'Grief is the price we pay for love'
Queen Elizabeth II

Grief, at prima facie, encompasses an innate disposition, one where life's agony hits like a reverberation. Seldom are we narcissistic in our intentions when we grieve, and it acts as a catalyst to aware us of our transience and mortality. The rudimentary thought of never seeing a loved one again reaffirms our purpose in lamentation. In no way does coping with a loss of a loved one imply that we should eradicate the memory of the aforementioned from our lives; what it does delineate is that we should learn to live our lives without their living presence. In cognitive recollection they can be the most salient person in our lives, and the veridical feeling of deep attachment may remain for the rest of our life.

I'm not going to say I understand, because I don't. I don't know your situation or relationship. All I can say is that I agree wholly as my dad was diagnosed with ALS and I learned of this only 3 months ago. It isn't the same, but it's shown me how important spending time is with loved ones.

Talking about it truly does help. Withholding emotions doesn't make one stronger, instead confusion and anger build up. Grief is a part of life whether anyone wants it or not. The best we can do is learn to deal with the grief in order to become stronger and help others through the processes.

As cheesy as it sounds, you will get through it. Probably one of the harshest sayings is "Life goes on", but it's true. Unfortunately, life doesn't pause for anything. School still comes around, holidays pass, and friends come and go. My advice is to find people who care about you and that you care about to be free to talk to.

Another hardship is the fact people often "don't get it". It isn't to blame them, they just don't comprehend your scenario. They attempt to see things from your perspective or offer support, but the truth is that they just don't have the experience you went through. Finding people who actually understand your situation more thoroughly is extraordinarily helpful.

So that I end off in a more joyous note. For anyone reading this, you have friends and family who will be there for you thick and thin so that you can move forward from grief. Those who make you laugh at bad times, or create a smile. Also, don't forget to make others smile