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It all started on a cold frosty morning. The birds were outside chirping in the trees, and a light sprinkling of snow on the road. There was some light banter going on between me and Como in the shoutbox; I was telling him how his dad should call him Como when suddenly, at the strike of 28 minutes past 12, I was suddenly banned from the shoutbox! Being ripe with confusion I refreshed the page to see if I had been randomly signed out. I had been, but the trouble was I couldn’t get back on! I was hacked. This was only the start of my problems.

I immediately jumped on to aim to try and alert someone who could tell the appropriate authorities to ban me as I had been hacked. Thanks to @ndrew, the applicable staff were notified, and Re-Insertion took the precaution of giving the JimErased account a 3 day ban to prevent the spread of an unlawful act of misconduct!

I then created a new account to try and get in personal contact with an admin. I posted vigorously to get the designated amount of posts to gain access to the dark void that is known as ‘the shoutbox’. After numerous amounts of spamming posts, I reached my target and was able to explain my case under the alias of JimErasedV2. Lucky Coltz-one appeared from the depths of hell and I immediately private messaged him to try and get back my account! He brought life back to life! He changed lots of things for, of which I shall not divulge as the hacker has a Nextgenupdate account and is probably reading this, as he does not go to school.

Upon receiving my Nextgenupdate account, I got signed out by another user on my Playstation Network account. I later rang up Sony to ask if I could get my account back. After a large quantity of attempts, I finally got through to a woman at their Indian based call center, where she assured me that Playstation Network account could not be hacked, and after I got told my secret answer, I got that account back.

The next account that I just had to get back was my Windows Live Messenger account, as most other things were tethered to that account! Facebook , for example, which he hacked and started to commence in sadistic conversations with my peers. This was the major pain of the whole operation. Until this point, it was easy to restore my accounts to their former glory.

I had to wait a gruelling 74 zargs, which converts to 5.98 hours until I could find Saint-Luciferr on Nextgenupdate, as he is the man with the hacking plan! He knows all there is about hacking into Windows Live Messenger and Facebook accounts. After a brief conversation with him, I gave him some account details so that he could report the account and the password could be reset. After a painful 24 hours, there was no reply from Microsoft, so he taught me his ways and I used them in coherence with the freedom of information act of 2000, and sent off my details. Early Sunday morning, around 1PM, I got an email saying here is your password. So I changed it and got everything back! I immediately changed all tethered account from my hotmail to other email addresses, and removed all offensive messages from my facebook.

Later that day though, Saint-Luciferr himself was hacked! I was talking to the hacker on his account when His Royal Highness Sir Lord Gobble III OBE came into the lattice that is Nextgenupdate, and I told him to teamview me and talk to the perpetrator. He used all his tricks and banter and came to the conclusion that this guy was a prick. I asked the child a few questions, and found out he was 17 and didn’t go to school. I also asked him why he hacked all these accounts and he replied “because I was bored”. I then told him to go play in the snow, to which he said it was melting, so I told him to go play in the slush instead and he remained quiet.

Several days later, I found myself to be locked out of my account again. I filed several reports again and got my account back. I then exported all my contacts, and put them in a new email address, deleting all contacts from my previous user so that he could have fun all by himself if he chose to hack it again! Then I celebrated by eating a potato whole.

Thank you for reading!

Signed Jim.

And here is a picture of Johnny Allen for goodwill!


We have had a revelation! Here is an artist's impression!

woop good story cause im in it

Good read, loving the exquisite diction.

nice story mate

:'( such a sad story of how a lonely muse fan was thrown into a world of pure terror.And how he conjured up the courage to step up to the level and see that he got his account back. Bravo, Jim. Bravo!

C'mon Ladies and Gentlemen, he's...a....****ing...legend. (wipes his tears away with a tissue)

Yeah that was thanks to Favo!

I cried a bit..... just beautiful. Oh and for the record, may I add the guy was both a n00b and a prick. I want people to know that this sort of hacking isn't skillful, clever or funny.

I remember that fiasco... he got on a few other accounts too... and btw the story was heart breaking You must login or register to view this content.

:' my favorite part was when you ate the potatoe whole