its pretty good for a first. next time add in c4d's in the background and in the foreground to give it some depth, a few gradient maps or something and some other effects and you have got a pretty nice sig and don't forget about a border as well. for a first ill giive it a 8/10
lOl I wan't that render but whatever , good for your first one but never lower you render's opacity and add some c4d's and so on , sharpen your render ,...still much to learn