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see and see
and
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Not half bad. Just work on everything.

First tag - too much white, focal's too small/got lost in the effects, fake lighting is super fake, and the depth is too overdone.

Second - same problem with depth, and the color needs work too. Also, try to avoid centered focals.

the focal is hard too spot becos of all the whit

and the second looks ok but not really like the c4d thing