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STEP 1: go to custom games hover over with dpad on edit game rules.
STEP 2: Join your friend he needs to be in custom games aswell when you joining him turn off the controller
STEP 3: Your friend need to bring party and search for a match online ones he found a match he needs to leave alone so you can become host ones you become host edit the settings fast ones you have done that you can start the match and you will have the settings