(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Welp if you wanna read my rant stay put, otherwise skip to the next paragraph for instructions on proper annihilation of infected race. Alright mother-****ERS. FIRST off, I'm sorry Bill Gates but i don't have an X-Box Live account so I'm forced to interact with my real life friends that I actually know in person on your console. This strategy is for said circumstances, preferably 2-player mode. I absolutely refuse to play any other map other than Kino. I donno, for some reason I think it should be the bar. Also, I find cheating and glitches (getting on turret, any type of mod, and that stupid gun glitch you pussies have been posting about) absolutely unacceptable. Really hoping I can rally some sort of internet mob that shares my same stubborn ex-high school jockish views and opinions. Anyways...

ROUNDS 1-3
It is essential that you shoot first round zombies in limbs approximately 5 times, and then proceed with knifing once said infected are out of barricade. This ensures maximum pointage. If you don't already know this, your zombie killing skills are obviously not up to par and also you probably need to lift more weights. Repeat procedure until final zomb on level three has breached barricade. Refrain from killing this son-of-a-bitch just yet, and open the top door. If box is not present at room, open next available door. Mystery box would be nice to have, however not essential to overall scheme. Be advised, however, Player 1 should hold on to initial pistol, as it's upgraded badassness cannot be measured in human terms, and once you trade for it, you cannot get it back unless death is induced and said player respawns with absolutely nothing except pistol, virtually rendering newly respawned player as useless as the Manta-Ray for squats. At this point you can safely eliminate the hostile.

ROUNDS 3-10
If box is unattainable at this juncture, buy wall gun and have Player 1 (for simplicity, we will refer to said player as one "Henry") stay at top of stairs and dominate incoming zombs from stair way and upstairs barricade. Player 2 (which for same reason will be referred to as one "Hank") will defend downstairs position and cover the 2 remaining barricades. Repeat procedure until enough points have been aquired to advance to stage. By now mystery box is usually attainable, and better guns have been aquired. If not, wall gun from foyer will suffice. Henry will cover rear entry portal and Hank will cover front barricade as well as wide corridor that has previously been unlocked. Aim for headshots (once again, you should already know this) to maximize pointage and minimize unnecessarrily expended ammunition. Said method should be used until round 10. It should also be noted that whenver possible roaming or rogueing is anticipated after round, it is advisable to save one healthy infected in barricade and allow other player to fulfill free-range activity until said activity has been completed. At which point, Henry and Hank trade positions.

ROUNDS 10-appx. 17
Once round 10 has been reached, power MUST be turned on. Now I know that all you losers who play online with 3 teammates may disagree, "Well why turn on the power if you don't need it yet?". First off, **** you. And second off, you don't understand the complexity of my perfectly devised plan of action to effifiently wipe out Charlie. So just do it dammit. Once you have the power on, immediately purchase Jugger-Nog, an absolutely essential drink. Once the Nog has been purchased, Quick Revive is recommended, however not required. Following drink purchase(s), enable teleport sequence. Rebuild all 'cades, ice final zomb and rondevous at teleport. Once round begins, defend your position for as long as possible. If monkey bombs are in possession, launch a singular monk-bomb as far away from team as virtual-humanly possible. Expend grenades and empty current clip into cluster-**** of dead nazi's. This will accumulate points which you WILL need. I know what you're thinking, "I don't wanna waste my ammo." Man up pussy. You'll get a max ammo soon enough. Plus it's not even round 20 yet. Once said hoard has reached teleport entrance, defend position until you have sustained 2 hits, then immediately teleport into projector room. If upgraded is desired, do it quick because if you do it at the end of time and can't get your gun back before said time has expired, it is lost into the sands of whatever the **** kind of deminsion Black Ops put you in forEVER and you can never ever get it back ever. Unless you get it again in the mystery box. Once upgrade has been accomplished, lob 'nades into hoard until time has expired. Upon teleportion to weird ass ****in rooms, scan environment for possible perks, and be on the look out for reels of tape. (If you don't know what that is, perhaps you should be playing Super Mario 64 and/or lifting some type of weights instead.)

ROUNDS 17-30
From this point forward, repetitiveness and monotiny has been known to dull players reaction and awareness. Be careful this does not happen to you, as it will really piss you and your teammate off. All you really need to do is go through the teleport as aforementioned. And run around map through previously purchased doors. Henry takes point and wastes incoming zombie hostiles, whilst Hank brings up rear and accumulates points with some sort of high-roundage gun. It is advisable that Henry posesses Ray-Gun (not upgraded cuz that's ****in stupid until you need the ammo) and Hank posess Thunder-Gun as well as previously stated high roundage weapon for point growth. Both players are advised to obtain monk-bombs by this juncture, however this may be difficult to achieve and is not necessarily necessary for successful clean sweep of Charlie. During this time, Speed-Reload is highly recommended especially for player bringing up rear. Player taking point can get by without it whilst round levels are still young. Don't forget to rebuild barricades at end of each round, as failing to do so will result immediate skull-**** of plan and end up getting your ass eaten by bastard zombs.

ROUNDS 30-40
These rounds will be considered "Higher Rounds" for the fact that for simple-minded dudes in their 20's who peaked in high school, you have most likely had a good gun situation and are generally doin pretty ****in good if you get here. This is where point accumulation will pay off. (So you can suck it guy who said he didn't wanna waste his ammo during the first teleport.) Run-around method will still be in action, however zombies will become increasingly harder to kill, so at this point it is advisable to set traps and turrets. Be careful not to run too fast through the levels, as said zombies will begin to spawn between Henry and Hank. This is possibly the worst threat proposed to Team Delta, as it creates utter chaos and virtually ****s up every single thing I have ever tought you. Your speed throughout the map should be steady, and pace should be between a sprint and walk, excluding the occasional sprint your ass off oh-shit moment to prevent said teammates from turning into a bag of smashed asshole. Proceed with the turning on of the traps, but still expend ammunition into endless wave of zombies, as you will still need to have a high point accumulation. Ensure that teleport activation is properly executed prior to beginning of new round. This is actually pretty ****in crucial, so I should write more about how important it is, but I won't.

ROUNDS 50+
Once you have attained round 50, run-around method has been rendered pretty much useless, and you must then incorporate the Double-Helix and activate the perimiter ground switch terminal. Ground switch terminal can only be properly activated once the Judgement-Saber has been achieved, which usually takes until about round 45 or so. Once you have unleashed the Saber you can incorporate the Double-Helix tactic and proceed with zombie slaying. I don't know what happens after round 73 because one of my other teammates (I won't mention Henry's name) got greedy and tried to retrieve a Nuke. Said teammate failed miserably and subject was left to fall back to the keep and hold ground until all ammuntion was expired. Following colossal ****-up by previously mentioned teammate, earth shattering ass kicking ensued and multiple breakable family expensive and emotionally irreplacable items were shattered and shittily glued back together before grandmother came home 2 days following.

Well there you go you nerdy asswipes. I sincerely hope I have opened the eyes of numerous rookie zombie players, and have encouraged room for growth and development in zombie killing ability. As a side note, I've always wondered if an upgraded Draganov would just shoot straight through zombies thus allowing you to wax several with solitary bullet. Anybody who wants to try it will immediately gain my virtual respect and approval upon proper filing of report and any incidents that may or may not have occured during said experiment. Delta High Football Rules!