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this is my first time editing my own clips :l so constructive criticism and tips are welcome

It is ok...
Some more professional editing needs to come into it, such as slow-mo shots. They build tension.
Besides, where was the editing? I only say the intro and the ending as some editing. And that was really alot.
Get a cracked version of Sony Vegas Pro 8.0/9.0 if you can.
They are amazing video editing softwares which are used by alot of people.
Work on the editing and get more clips.
Maybe then it would be better
Oh, dont get too insane with the editing either with like inverted colours and so on.
Good luck!

im downloading it now

thanks for the advice