pardon my ignorance to this issue but how the hell do they know how old you are?? however it could be to do with the way you set your xbox up to begin with - you can log into the xbox.com website and go to online safety settings change it from teen or child to adult and pow it should work. this is what i would look at first it doesnt update auto all the time and look for a way to edit your personal settings im sure its there
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To get a refund via xbox live you have to contact them through there website its a painstaking process and one that normally ends in a result thats better for them, problem is you have purchased a subscription service for something you have agreed the terms of use for saying you are over the age to use said download and your not so youd be hard pushed to get your money back on that clause