Post: How To Survive A Shark Attack
Options
07-20-2010, 08:45 PM
#1
Binary
The Guy With The Smiley
How To Survive A Shark Attack
1: Don't swim in the ocean. Ninety-nine percent of all shark attacks take place in exceptionally large bodies of water also known as oceans. The way to determine if you are currently in an ocean is to taste the water, which should be salty.
2: Listen out for the music. In the event that you are foolish enough to swim in an ocean, listen carefully for the music, as demonstrated in the marvelous documentary film Jaws. All shark attacks are preceded by the "daah-da, daah-da" chords, which will gradually become more rapid as the shark gets closer. This is due to the Doppler Effect.
3: Swim with fat people. Try to surround yourself with more appetizing companions. If you know them well, you might even try to switch their suntan lotion with A-1 Steak Sauce. This will definitely improve your odds.
4: Don't go into the water without a knife. This is not to defend yourself but to stab the person (a.k.a the decoy) closest to you in the case of a shark attack. Once you are sure the "decoy" is bleeding profusely ..... swim for your bloody life.
And finally .....
5: Don't panic. In the event that a shark actually bites you, try to remain calm. This really won't help you survive, but everyone else on the beach will appreciate you not shrieking madly, as this is quite unsettling and can really spoil a wonderful day out.
***Here is Alekz Thread
You must login or register to view this content.***You must login or register to view this content.
Not Mine BTW
The following 35 users say thank you to Binary for this useful post:
af12314, Alekz, ARIISSEK, boombrshot, chris2k7sears, DEVILEE97G-UNIT, Devilreapr, EnJoiRastaPanda, Favo, G00N, Helios, Hondarydr, Honey, iDelete, iVF™ Elemental, Jamesyy, Jcn, KillaPwner, Kinetic, Mr.Alfredo, Pullz7, pV TheBro5111, Rainbow Dash, Reaper, Run Show, Shepleklet, Spirant, Steve, SupaTrollioBros, ToeMold, toophat2fly, xImpulse, xShep, yacoboy
07-21-2010, 01:18 AM
#30
CivicLad
Me Julie
A video of tip 2
[ame=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3ur4tNLhwQ]YouTube - The Singing Shark Quartet![/ame]
[ame=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3ur4tNLhwQ]YouTube - The Singing Shark Quartet![/ame]
07-21-2010, 05:54 AM
#33
Mr.Alfredo
Samurai Poster
07-21-2010, 07:28 AM
#36
NBTheKing
Hurah!
Don't Move, Sharks are Blind so they smell and tactic if you move alot they attack thinking it's a fish, Sharks don't enjoy Human Skin so if stay calm they will release you as you have horrible skin taste, and why would you swim on the ocean... unless your ON A BOAT! Your ON A BOAT! YEAH! Moder Foca Boat!... and if it comes and bites you try to punch the nose usually they'll let go...
Especially you iDelete 
Copyright © 2026, NextGenUpdate.
All Rights Reserved.
