(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); 1.Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

2.Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

3.Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

4.If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

5.When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

6.Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity. He got it back.

7.Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

8.Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

9.Chuck Norris doesn't lick his postage stamps. He just looks at them and they wet themselves.

10.Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

11.Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.

12.Once death had a near Chuck Norris experience.

13.They once made a brand of Chuck Norris toilet paper but it was a complete failure because it didn't take shit from no one.

14.Chuck Norris once had sex with a prostitute in the back of a semi truck. A drop of semen got onto the seat and became infused with the truck. The truck is now know as Optimus Prime.

15.Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, and Chuck Norris die and go to heaven. They see God sitting on his throne and beside him is an empty seat. God says to them "Only one of you can have this seat. Tell me why you believe you should have it." Arnold says "I believe that I deserve that seat because I have given back to the community by showing the importance of Physical Fitness." Sylvester says "I believe I deserve that seat because I have been a good Role Model by teaching people to stand up for themselves." Chuck Norris then goes over to God, looks at him and says "I believe.. You are sitting in my seat."

If you have any more please feel free to say them and I will add them

13 and 14 are my favorite ones