Post: Ultimate American Insults (don't have a go at me!)
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08-21-2010, 06:39 PM
#1
ChatBox
Banned
America is one long expectoration
The American has no language, he has a dialect, slang, provincialism, accent and so forth
Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up
America is the only nation in history which has gone miraculously gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilisation
If there was ever an aviary overstocked with jays it is that Yaptouwn on the Hudson called New York
If your going to America, bring your own food
When you become used to never being alone, you may consider yourself Americanised
No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public
If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell
California is a fine place to live. if you happen to be an orange
Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz
It was wonderful to find America, put perhaps it would have been more wonderful to miss it
All American writing gives me the impression that Americans don't care for girls at all. What the American male really wants is two things: he wants to be blown by a stranger while reading a newspaper and he wants to be ****ed by his buddy when he's drunk. Everything else is society.
There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.
Their ... demeanour is invariably morose, sullen, clownish and repulsive. I should think there is not, on the face of the earth, a people so entirely destitute of humour, vivacity, or the capacity of enjoyment.
The American nation in the sixth ward is a fine people; they love the eagle — on the back of a dollar.
No one can be as calculatedly rude as the British, which amazes Americans, who do not understand studied insult and can only offer abuse as a substitute.
Knavery seems to be so much the striking feature of its inhabitants that it may not in the end be an evil that they will become aliens to this country.
The organisation of American society is an interlocking system of semi-monopolies notoriously venal, an electorate notoriously unenlightened, misled by a mass media notoriously phoney.
Sir, they are a race of convicts and ought to be grateful for anything we allow them short of hanging.
The American has no language. He has dialect, slang, provincialism, accent and so forth.
If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Americans are people who laugh at African witch doctors and spend 100 million dollars on fake reducing systems.
There won't be any revolution in America ... the people are too clean. They spend all their time changing their shirts and washing themselves. You can't feel fierce and revolutionary in a bathroom.
The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide open spaces surrounded by teeth.
Question: If you find so much that is unworthy of reverence in the United States, why do you live here?
Mencken: Why do men go to zoos?
The American political system is like fast food - mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some.
The national dish of America is menus.
Frustrate a Frenchman, he will drink himself to death; an Irishman, he will die of angry hypertension; a Dane, he will shoot himself; an American, he will get drunk, shoot you, then establish a million dollar aid programme for your relatives. Then he will die of an ulcer.
America ... where laws and customs alike are based on the dreams of spinsters.
In America everybody is of the opinion that he has no social superiors, since all men are equal, but he does not admit that he has no social inferiors.
Here is the difference between Dante, Milton and me. They wrote about hell and never saw the place. I wrote about Chicago after looking the town over for years and years.
The 100% American is 99% idiot.
The American male doesn't mature until he has exhausted all other possibilities.
In the four corners of the globe, who reads an American book? or goes to an American play? or looks at an American picture or statue? What does the world yet owe to America's physicians and surgeons? ... Who drinks out of American glasses? or eats from American plates? or wears American coats and gowns? or sleeps in American blankets? Finally, under which of the old tyrannical governments of Europe is every sixth man a slave, whom his fellow creatures may buy and sell and torture?
In America any boy may become President, and I suppose that's just the risk he takes.
New York is a city of 7,000,000 so decadent that when I leave it I never dare look back lest I turn into salt and the conductor throw me over his left shoulder for good luck.
I found there a country with thirty-two religions and only one sauce.
America ... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair.
Speaking of New York as a traveller I have two faults to find with it. In the first place there is nothing to see; and in the second place there is no mode of getting about to see anything.
I heard an Englishman, who had been long resident in America, declare that in following, in meeting, or in overtaking, in the street, on the road, or in the field, at the theatre, the coffee-house, or at home, he had never overheard Americans conversing without the word DOLLAR being pronounced between them. Such unity of purpose ... can ... be found nowhere else, except... in an ant's nest.
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practise either of them.
The hatred Americans have for their own government is pathological ... at one level it is simply thwarted greed: since our religion is making a buck, giving a part of that buck to any government is an act against nature.
Gore Vidal, US writer
The Americans, like the English, probably make love worse than any other race.
It is absurd to say that there are neither ruins nor curiosities in America when they have their mothers and their manners.
Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.
In America the President rules for four years and journalism governs for ever and ever.
When good Americans die, they go to Paris; when bad Americans die, they go to America.
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The following 7 users say thank you to ChatBox for this useful post:
08-22-2010, 07:29 AM
#57
Fruit_Cake
Grunt
08-22-2010, 02:49 PM
#60
B u X
BITCHES LOVE CAKE
This thread made me chuckle. And some of you Americans have just embarresed yourselves making uneducated claims about "UK would be speaking german if it wasn't for the USA". I dont need to say why, daishos pretty much clearded it up.
And to whoever said our country is "comepletey ****ed", that's rich coming from a country who's government is just as economically broke as ours and probably just as corrupt as the one it started the war with. I say "started" because im sorry, but you cant tell me them towers just "collapsed" after a couple of hours....
And to whoever said our country is "comepletey ****ed", that's rich coming from a country who's government is just as economically broke as ours and probably just as corrupt as the one it started the war with. I say "started" because im sorry, but you cant tell me them towers just "collapsed" after a couple of hours....
08-22-2010, 03:00 PM
#61
BlackHayze
I go HAM
Here's some interesting facts about America for all of you who don't believe we're number 1:
Military Expendures of the U.S. vs. the UK
$663 Billion to 69 Billion -- it's no wonder we're the most powerful country on the earth.
GDP of the U.S. vs. the UK (in millions of dolalrs)
$14 million vs. $2 million
Hell, we'll go against all of Europe on that one, you guys win by $2 million, but hey, you only have 27 countries against just our one country, but I mean, who's counting how many countries you have in your GDP huh?
There's a reason all of you hate our country, and it's because we're so much better than every other country on this earth, in just about every single aspect, monetarily especially. You can hate us all you want, but if we went away, all you're countries would suffer, since the main buyer from just about every country on earth is the United States of America, we keep the world economy going, even during this depression -- which we did start, but all of you countries are so linked to our economy that it hurt you also.
Military Expendures of the U.S. vs. the UK
$663 Billion to 69 Billion -- it's no wonder we're the most powerful country on the earth.
GDP of the U.S. vs. the UK (in millions of dolalrs)
$14 million vs. $2 million
Hell, we'll go against all of Europe on that one, you guys win by $2 million, but hey, you only have 27 countries against just our one country, but I mean, who's counting how many countries you have in your GDP huh?
There's a reason all of you hate our country, and it's because we're so much better than every other country on this earth, in just about every single aspect, monetarily especially. You can hate us all you want, but if we went away, all you're countries would suffer, since the main buyer from just about every country on earth is the United States of America, we keep the world economy going, even during this depression -- which we did start, but all of you countries are so linked to our economy that it hurt you also.
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