Post: 50 Facts why you shouldn't believe in Evolution!
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10-21-2010, 09:23 PM
#1
Fionn
Banned
Originally posted by another user
1.) Because I don’t like the idea that we came from apes… despite that humans are categorically defined and classified as apes.
2.) Because I’m too stupid and/or lazy to open a ****ing science book or turn on the Discovery Science Channel.
3.) Because if I can’t immediately understand how something works, then it must be bullshit.
4.) Because I don’t care that literally 99.9% of all biologists accept evolution as the unifying theory of biology.
5.) Because I prefer the idea that a (insert god of choice) went ALLA-KADABRA-ZAM MOTHAH-****AHS!!!
6.) Because I can’t get it through my thick logic-proof skull that evolution refers ONLY to the diversity of living organisms which reproduce with genetic variation, not to abiogenesis, or planet formation, or big bang cosmology, or whether God exists, or where they buried Jimmy Hoffa, or why the sky is blue, or how many licks it takes to get to the center of a ****ing Tootsie Pop.
7.) Because the fossil record doesn’t comprise the remains of every single living thing that ever existed on this 4.5 billion year old planet, even though fossilization is a rare process that only occurs under very specific circumstances.
8.) Because science has yet to produce any transitional species… except for the magnitudinous numbers of them found in the fossil record which don’t count because… I uh, OOH LOOK! A SHINY OBJECT!!! *runs away*
9.) Because I know nothing about Darwin except that he had a funny beard.
10.) Because the theory of evolution (which, according to scientists, perfectly explains the richness and diversity of life on Earth) contradicts biblical literalism… ya know, flat Earth with a firmament that keeps out the water, talking snakes, people rising from the dead, bats are birds, flamey talking bushes, virgin births, food appearing out of nowhere, massive bodies of water turning into blood… etc etc.
11.) Because I think the word “theory” actually means: “random stabs in the dark” when it really means: "an explanation of certain phenomena that is well-supported by a large body of facts and often unifies similarly well-supported hypotheses" i.e. atomic theory, gravitational theory, germ theory, cell theory, some-people-are-dumb-mother****ers-theory, etc.
12.) Because the fact that science is self-correcting annoys me. Most of my other beliefs are rigidly fixed and uncorrectable.
13.) Because I am under the severely mistaken impression that evolution implies someone in my very recent ancestry was a chimp.
14.) Because everything appears designed to my mind which was expertly tuned by nature to perceive design, probably as a survival mechanism.
15.) Because some secretly fabulous closet-dwelling televangelist (who unironically preaches hate towards gays) told me that evolution is Satan’s way of leading me away from God.
16.) Because that same guy (who was also caught snorting blow off a male hooker’s shiny naked ass) told me that God planted those fossils to test my faith.
17.) Because I’m 100% correct about everything 100% of the time and there is 0% chance that some snooty Oxford educated scientist with numerous honorary doctorates could possibly know something that I don’t.
18.) Because I don’t know that fossils are found in sedimentary strata corresponding to their age as one would expect if evolution were true.
19.) Because I don’t understand why, if we share common ancestry with chimps, there are still chimps. And when someone with more than three brain cells in their head inevitably replies: “for the same reason Americans share common ancestry with Brits but there are still Brits, I can’t follow the logic. It’s just too big a leap. Who am I, Evil Knievel?
20.) Because my mom dropped me on my head when I was a baby.
21.) Multiple times.
22.) On purpose.
23.) Because the idea that life evolved naturally over billions of years is infinitely less believable than the idea that an 800 year old man crammed two of every species into a giant wooden boat when the entire planet flooded, an event for which there is absolutely no geological evidence whatsoever and also makes no ****ing sense at all.
24.) Because Jesus totally rode around on a ****ing t-rex. He’s just that badassed. And also, did you know that t-rexes were vegetarians? Ken Ham says so and I believe it.
25.) Because I don’t realize that saying “microevolution is possible but macroevolution isn’t” is as stupid as saying “I can pick my nose for one second but I cannot pick it for 10 seconds.”
26.) Because the education system failed me miserably.
27.) …and then took a big wet dump on my face.
28.) Because I think that knowing how nature works magically obliterates all of its beauty.
29.) Because I didn’t know that evolution has been tested and observed in laboratories.
30.) Because when confronted with that, I refuse to believe it. It’s obviously a scientific conspiracy aimed at turning everyone on the planet into atheists... even though evolution says nothing about god's nature nor whether he, she, it, or they exist.
31.) Because I’m too stupid to realize that Social Darwinism has nothing to do with evolution and is actually a pseudo-scientific bastardization that real science largely rejects.
32.) Because the planet and all the life on it was designed for humans… kinda like how the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NY was designed specifically for the dust-bunnies that may accumulate on the floors.
33.) Because I don’t realize that if we actually found croco-ducks in the fossil record, it would falsify evolution.
34.) Because plenty of respectable people like Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, and Mike Huckabee (who are not scientists) don’t accept evolution, and that somehow validates my opinion.
35.) Because my mother didn’t know not to drink while she was pregnant. She also didn’t know not to repeatedly throw herself down a flight of stairs in an attempt to undo the accident of screwing someone who voted for Bush both times.
36.) Because I don’t know that “irreducible complexity” has been debunked a frazillion times by a frazillion different people and is no more credible an argument than “NEEN-er NEEN-er NEEN-er, I’m right and you’re wrong.”
37.) Because I have never seen a duck evolve into a cat over night, despite the fact that such a thing would be contrary to all known scientific disciplines.
38.) Because I have no imagination, learning is too much effort, I don’t like proven facts, change scares me, and I think deoxyribonucleic acid is something I’m supposed to clean my bathroom floors with.
39.) Because evolution means that I absolutely MUST reject everything else I know, abandon all my beliefs, and start aping around my house like a ****ing monkey. OOOh-ooohh-ooohohh -OOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!
40.) Because I haven’t put my cave on the market and moved into the 21st century yet. I’m waiting for the cave market to rebound from the recent financial meltdown.
41.) Because I don’t know what an atavism is and if you told me, I still wouldn't believe it. Too weird.
42.) Because I don’t know that evolution explains methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus and also provides the answer in preventing it from turning into a superbug and killing massive numbers of people.
43.) Because I don’t know that evolution is routinely used in medicine to diagnose and treat certain illnesses such as genetic ailments, bacterial infections, and viral infections.
44.) Because I believe there is a strong comparison between designed inanimate objects such as buildings, paintings, and watches (which we know were pieced together from identifiable components by human beings) and living organisms (which reproduce with genetic variation under the effects of environmental attrition).
45.) Because I see no significant similarities between humans and apes. *scratches my ass-crack then smells my fingers*
46.) Because I think I’m too special to have been crafted by any natural process and the entire planet, solar system, galaxy, and universe were created with me especially in mind.
47.) Because I unquestioningly swallow the ignorant anti-science bullshit spewed directly from the fraudulent stupid asses of people like Ken Ham, Ted Haggard, Fred Phelps, and Kent Hovind.
48.) Because I’m a freethinker and freethinking really means ignoring anything that contradicts what I already believe.
49.) Because I don’t know what confirmation bias is.
50.) Because despite the fact that in all my years of life, I have never seen any magic, I still believe magic is the answer to anything I don’t immediately comprehend.
2.) Because I’m too stupid and/or lazy to open a ****ing science book or turn on the Discovery Science Channel.
3.) Because if I can’t immediately understand how something works, then it must be bullshit.
4.) Because I don’t care that literally 99.9% of all biologists accept evolution as the unifying theory of biology.
5.) Because I prefer the idea that a (insert god of choice) went ALLA-KADABRA-ZAM MOTHAH-****AHS!!!
6.) Because I can’t get it through my thick logic-proof skull that evolution refers ONLY to the diversity of living organisms which reproduce with genetic variation, not to abiogenesis, or planet formation, or big bang cosmology, or whether God exists, or where they buried Jimmy Hoffa, or why the sky is blue, or how many licks it takes to get to the center of a ****ing Tootsie Pop.
7.) Because the fossil record doesn’t comprise the remains of every single living thing that ever existed on this 4.5 billion year old planet, even though fossilization is a rare process that only occurs under very specific circumstances.
8.) Because science has yet to produce any transitional species… except for the magnitudinous numbers of them found in the fossil record which don’t count because… I uh, OOH LOOK! A SHINY OBJECT!!! *runs away*
9.) Because I know nothing about Darwin except that he had a funny beard.
10.) Because the theory of evolution (which, according to scientists, perfectly explains the richness and diversity of life on Earth) contradicts biblical literalism… ya know, flat Earth with a firmament that keeps out the water, talking snakes, people rising from the dead, bats are birds, flamey talking bushes, virgin births, food appearing out of nowhere, massive bodies of water turning into blood… etc etc.
11.) Because I think the word “theory” actually means: “random stabs in the dark” when it really means: "an explanation of certain phenomena that is well-supported by a large body of facts and often unifies similarly well-supported hypotheses" i.e. atomic theory, gravitational theory, germ theory, cell theory, some-people-are-dumb-mother****ers-theory, etc.
12.) Because the fact that science is self-correcting annoys me. Most of my other beliefs are rigidly fixed and uncorrectable.
13.) Because I am under the severely mistaken impression that evolution implies someone in my very recent ancestry was a chimp.
14.) Because everything appears designed to my mind which was expertly tuned by nature to perceive design, probably as a survival mechanism.
15.) Because some secretly fabulous closet-dwelling televangelist (who unironically preaches hate towards gays) told me that evolution is Satan’s way of leading me away from God.
16.) Because that same guy (who was also caught snorting blow off a male hooker’s shiny naked ass) told me that God planted those fossils to test my faith.
17.) Because I’m 100% correct about everything 100% of the time and there is 0% chance that some snooty Oxford educated scientist with numerous honorary doctorates could possibly know something that I don’t.
18.) Because I don’t know that fossils are found in sedimentary strata corresponding to their age as one would expect if evolution were true.
19.) Because I don’t understand why, if we share common ancestry with chimps, there are still chimps. And when someone with more than three brain cells in their head inevitably replies: “for the same reason Americans share common ancestry with Brits but there are still Brits, I can’t follow the logic. It’s just too big a leap. Who am I, Evil Knievel?
20.) Because my mom dropped me on my head when I was a baby.
21.) Multiple times.
22.) On purpose.
23.) Because the idea that life evolved naturally over billions of years is infinitely less believable than the idea that an 800 year old man crammed two of every species into a giant wooden boat when the entire planet flooded, an event for which there is absolutely no geological evidence whatsoever and also makes no ****ing sense at all.
24.) Because Jesus totally rode around on a ****ing t-rex. He’s just that badassed. And also, did you know that t-rexes were vegetarians? Ken Ham says so and I believe it.
25.) Because I don’t realize that saying “microevolution is possible but macroevolution isn’t” is as stupid as saying “I can pick my nose for one second but I cannot pick it for 10 seconds.”
26.) Because the education system failed me miserably.
27.) …and then took a big wet dump on my face.
28.) Because I think that knowing how nature works magically obliterates all of its beauty.
29.) Because I didn’t know that evolution has been tested and observed in laboratories.
30.) Because when confronted with that, I refuse to believe it. It’s obviously a scientific conspiracy aimed at turning everyone on the planet into atheists... even though evolution says nothing about god's nature nor whether he, she, it, or they exist.
31.) Because I’m too stupid to realize that Social Darwinism has nothing to do with evolution and is actually a pseudo-scientific bastardization that real science largely rejects.
32.) Because the planet and all the life on it was designed for humans… kinda like how the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NY was designed specifically for the dust-bunnies that may accumulate on the floors.
33.) Because I don’t realize that if we actually found croco-ducks in the fossil record, it would falsify evolution.
34.) Because plenty of respectable people like Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, and Mike Huckabee (who are not scientists) don’t accept evolution, and that somehow validates my opinion.
35.) Because my mother didn’t know not to drink while she was pregnant. She also didn’t know not to repeatedly throw herself down a flight of stairs in an attempt to undo the accident of screwing someone who voted for Bush both times.
36.) Because I don’t know that “irreducible complexity” has been debunked a frazillion times by a frazillion different people and is no more credible an argument than “NEEN-er NEEN-er NEEN-er, I’m right and you’re wrong.”
37.) Because I have never seen a duck evolve into a cat over night, despite the fact that such a thing would be contrary to all known scientific disciplines.
38.) Because I have no imagination, learning is too much effort, I don’t like proven facts, change scares me, and I think deoxyribonucleic acid is something I’m supposed to clean my bathroom floors with.
39.) Because evolution means that I absolutely MUST reject everything else I know, abandon all my beliefs, and start aping around my house like a ****ing monkey. OOOh-ooohh-ooohohh -OOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!
40.) Because I haven’t put my cave on the market and moved into the 21st century yet. I’m waiting for the cave market to rebound from the recent financial meltdown.
41.) Because I don’t know what an atavism is and if you told me, I still wouldn't believe it. Too weird.
42.) Because I don’t know that evolution explains methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus and also provides the answer in preventing it from turning into a superbug and killing massive numbers of people.
43.) Because I don’t know that evolution is routinely used in medicine to diagnose and treat certain illnesses such as genetic ailments, bacterial infections, and viral infections.
44.) Because I believe there is a strong comparison between designed inanimate objects such as buildings, paintings, and watches (which we know were pieced together from identifiable components by human beings) and living organisms (which reproduce with genetic variation under the effects of environmental attrition).
45.) Because I see no significant similarities between humans and apes. *scratches my ass-crack then smells my fingers*
46.) Because I think I’m too special to have been crafted by any natural process and the entire planet, solar system, galaxy, and universe were created with me especially in mind.
47.) Because I unquestioningly swallow the ignorant anti-science bullshit spewed directly from the fraudulent stupid asses of people like Ken Ham, Ted Haggard, Fred Phelps, and Kent Hovind.
48.) Because I’m a freethinker and freethinking really means ignoring anything that contradicts what I already believe.
49.) Because I don’t know what confirmation bias is.
50.) Because despite the fact that in all my years of life, I have never seen any magic, I still believe magic is the answer to anything I don’t immediately comprehend.
/sarcasm
Now Creationists are like :FU::FU:
The following 10 users say thank you to Fionn for this useful post:
10-21-2010, 10:31 PM
#11
Fionn
Banned
Originally posted by Dan0692
I'm really not sure about that I haven't decided which theory to back.
A flat universe, with the presence of dark matter would mean the inevitable end of the universe and creating the big freeze, which I don't believe will happen.
Spherical seems quite likely, but I read up on another theory of the shape of the universe being Hyperbolic which is actually really plausible. If you look at the way light and mass spreads itself out within the universe you see that it looks exactly like the way your brain cells look microscopically..
Universe
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Brain Cells
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It could be coincidence, but this shape could be the shape of life and matter and existence.
I'm no scientist, but even I can see that.
A flat universe, with the presence of dark matter would mean the inevitable end of the universe and creating the big freeze, which I don't believe will happen.
Spherical seems quite likely, but I read up on another theory of the shape of the universe being Hyperbolic which is actually really plausible. If you look at the way light and mass spreads itself out within the universe you see that it looks exactly like the way your brain cells look microscopically..
Universe
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Brain Cells
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It could be coincidence, but this shape could be the shape of life and matter and existence.
I'm no scientist, but even I can see that.
Well I've watched a few videos in which scientists were backing up the Flat Universe theory. If it was flat, 70% of our universe is dark matter where the other 30% is made up of everything else. A flat universe also has a total energy mass of 0. This is because gravity can have negative energy. This seems to make sense to me.
The Spherical theory seems a tad too far fetched for me. But I can actually see it being this shape. But in theory, If you look far enough in one direction you will see the back of your own head. Because light will hit the sides.
The Hyperbolic theory would be next in line after the Flat theory to me. But to Scientists, this theory is the least understood.
10-21-2010, 10:34 PM
#12
elfmotat
Rᵤᵥ - ½gᵤᵥR ∝ Tᵤᵥ
Originally posted by Dan0692
I'm 18, average, with a moderate interest in science. I'm not genius, no need to be patronising I found the way you're trying to belittle me very insulting.
I'm 17, and I wasn't patronizing you. It just pisses me off to no end when I see people taking things they have no real knowledge about and making bullshit claims. Others may read it and be under the impression that your ideas are plausible and may formulate an opinion based on them.
I'm just trying to prevent disinformation and misconceptions.
10-21-2010, 10:40 PM
#13
Dan0692
Molestation Enthusiast
Originally posted by elfmotat
I'm 17, and I wasn't patronizing you. It just pisses me off to no end when I see people taking things they have no real knowledge about and making bullshit claims. Others may read it and be under the impression that your ideas are plausible and may formulate an opinion based on them.
In the same sense anything a Scientist could and will speculate on could be taken as truth. Nothing in science is proven, it is all agreed upon theory. In fact i've even heard that gravity is still disrupting many attempts to complete an understanding of the universe. But that's probably bullshit too, right?
I just don't like it when I enjoy speculating something which I may or may not recall slightly differently due to the fact my life doesn't revolve around science, and somebody who lives their life by it and/or maths (I assume you do because nobody can't have that as a second option and know as much), comes and makes you look like an unintelligent piece of shit. Whether you know it or not, you are doing it, and you are being very sanctimonious and pretentious about it.
I was merely debating something that I enjoy, that I may not know everything about. Life is a learning process, not a 'shoot him down he's full of shit' process. If you were ever to teach the subject you seem well equipped at i'd feel sorry for the students, they'd probably go home and cry.
Originally posted by elfmotat
I'm just trying to prevent disinformation and misconceptions.
You have your work cut out for you, there's a lot of people a lot less intelligent than me that still think the world is flat.
By the way sorry if i've ruined your thread here Fionn
10-22-2010, 12:27 AM
#14
elfmotat
Rᵤᵥ - ½gᵤᵥR ∝ Tᵤᵥ
Originally posted by Dan0692
In the same sense anything a Scientist could and will speculate on could be taken as truth. Nothing in science is proven, it is all agreed upon theory.
Science is concerned with discerning the truth from tested hypotheses. A scientific theory is the mainframe which encompasses a set of proven facts. It's fine to speculate on what that theory may infer, but incorporating clearly quasi-scientific phenomenon like ghosts is a far cry from anything a scientist would do.
I used to do the same thing - make speculation on science forums to give my input before I fully understood the topic. Needless to say, I was massacred. From then on I made sure to learn most, if not all, of the details regarding something you're predictions about.
Originally posted by Dan0692
In fact i've even heard that gravity is still disrupting many attempts to complete an understanding of the universe. But that's probably bullshit too, right?
I wouldn't say that it's "disrupting attempts," but in essence you are right. General Relativity is very complicated, and so is Quantum Field Theory. Combining the two seems near-impossible, which is what String Theory has been trying do for decades now.
Originally posted by Dan0692
I just don't like it when I enjoy speculating something which I may or may not recall slightly differently due to the fact my life doesn't revolve around science, and somebody who lives their life by it and/or maths (I assume you do because nobody can't have that as a second option and know as much), comes and makes you look like an unintelligent piece of shit. Whether you know it or not, you are doing it, and you are being very sanctimonious and pretentious about it.
Boo hoo. Despite what your impressions of me may be, I'm not one to seek praise, and I'm not one to belittle others for the sake of my ego. I wanted to put your understanding into perspective and hopefully inspire you to do more research on your own.
Originally posted by Dan0692
I was merely debating something that I enjoy, that I may not know everything about. Life is a learning process, not a 'shoot him down he's full of shit' process. If you were ever to teach the subject you seem well equipped at i'd feel sorry for the students, they'd probably go home and cry.
I wouldn't doubt it, lol. I've tried to tutor people before, but I'm an awful teacher.
Originally posted by Dan0692
You have your work cut out for you, there's a lot of people a lot less intelligent than me that still think the world is flat.
I never said you weren't intelligent, and yes I am well aware of how dumb some people can be (I spent a lot of time debating on creationist forums, and everything Fionn posted is, unfortunately, accurate).
Yes, people will form misconceptions regardless of what I do, but I have some OCD regarding people having the correct information.
If you want to laugh your ass off go to You must login or register to view this content. . I'm pretty sure a significant portion of the members are trolls, but at least a few must genuinely believe it.
10-22-2010, 12:31 AM
#15
420
Kush Friendly
Dude, im taking an physical anthropology class right now, and people who are against science have the most BS reasons. Ive seen protester's that fight against science without truly having a legitimate point. The examples you've posted would be credible to those moronic idiots lol. By the way, funny post because it's actually true, ignorant people will never be extinct.
10-22-2010, 12:37 AM
#16
NeedaLifeSoon
Retired Life
Originally posted by elfmotat
I'm 17, and I wasn't patronizing you. It just pisses me off to no end when I see people taking things they have no real knowledge about and making bullshit claims. Others may read it and be under the impression that your ideas are plausible and may formulate an opinion based on them.
I'm just trying to prevent disinformation and misconceptions.
I'm just trying to prevent disinformation and misconceptions.
You were clearly not patronzing him, and his claim that ghosts are explained in any way by current physics theories is not true but steer him to some legitimate sites that will enlighten him. He seems to have an intrest in science as you cetainly do.
It will be an endless effort to correct all of the ignorance on a kids gaming site, although you seem to be trying your hardest.
Most of the kids reading this shit are not going to form any opinions on M, string, or any theoretical physics and most are here to learn the latest hack or free CL date.
Christ(whoops wrong choice of word there) I sound like an asshole, preaching to choir, but I gotta go so I'm hitting submit instead of delete.
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