Post: 50 Facts why you shouldn't believe in Evolution!
Options
10-21-2010, 09:23 PM
#1
Fionn
Banned
Originally posted by another user
1.) Because I don’t like the idea that we came from apes… despite that humans are categorically defined and classified as apes.
2.) Because I’m too stupid and/or lazy to open a ****ing science book or turn on the Discovery Science Channel.
3.) Because if I can’t immediately understand how something works, then it must be bullshit.
4.) Because I don’t care that literally 99.9% of all biologists accept evolution as the unifying theory of biology.
5.) Because I prefer the idea that a (insert god of choice) went ALLA-KADABRA-ZAM MOTHAH-****AHS!!!
6.) Because I can’t get it through my thick logic-proof skull that evolution refers ONLY to the diversity of living organisms which reproduce with genetic variation, not to abiogenesis, or planet formation, or big bang cosmology, or whether God exists, or where they buried Jimmy Hoffa, or why the sky is blue, or how many licks it takes to get to the center of a ****ing Tootsie Pop.
7.) Because the fossil record doesn’t comprise the remains of every single living thing that ever existed on this 4.5 billion year old planet, even though fossilization is a rare process that only occurs under very specific circumstances.
8.) Because science has yet to produce any transitional species… except for the magnitudinous numbers of them found in the fossil record which don’t count because… I uh, OOH LOOK! A SHINY OBJECT!!! *runs away*
9.) Because I know nothing about Darwin except that he had a funny beard.
10.) Because the theory of evolution (which, according to scientists, perfectly explains the richness and diversity of life on Earth) contradicts biblical literalism… ya know, flat Earth with a firmament that keeps out the water, talking snakes, people rising from the dead, bats are birds, flamey talking bushes, virgin births, food appearing out of nowhere, massive bodies of water turning into blood… etc etc.
11.) Because I think the word “theory” actually means: “random stabs in the dark” when it really means: "an explanation of certain phenomena that is well-supported by a large body of facts and often unifies similarly well-supported hypotheses" i.e. atomic theory, gravitational theory, germ theory, cell theory, some-people-are-dumb-mother****ers-theory, etc.
12.) Because the fact that science is self-correcting annoys me. Most of my other beliefs are rigidly fixed and uncorrectable.
13.) Because I am under the severely mistaken impression that evolution implies someone in my very recent ancestry was a chimp.
14.) Because everything appears designed to my mind which was expertly tuned by nature to perceive design, probably as a survival mechanism.
15.) Because some secretly fabulous closet-dwelling televangelist (who unironically preaches hate towards gays) told me that evolution is Satan’s way of leading me away from God.
16.) Because that same guy (who was also caught snorting blow off a male hooker’s shiny naked ass) told me that God planted those fossils to test my faith.
17.) Because I’m 100% correct about everything 100% of the time and there is 0% chance that some snooty Oxford educated scientist with numerous honorary doctorates could possibly know something that I don’t.
18.) Because I don’t know that fossils are found in sedimentary strata corresponding to their age as one would expect if evolution were true.
19.) Because I don’t understand why, if we share common ancestry with chimps, there are still chimps. And when someone with more than three brain cells in their head inevitably replies: “for the same reason Americans share common ancestry with Brits but there are still Brits, I can’t follow the logic. It’s just too big a leap. Who am I, Evil Knievel?
20.) Because my mom dropped me on my head when I was a baby.
21.) Multiple times.
22.) On purpose.
23.) Because the idea that life evolved naturally over billions of years is infinitely less believable than the idea that an 800 year old man crammed two of every species into a giant wooden boat when the entire planet flooded, an event for which there is absolutely no geological evidence whatsoever and also makes no ****ing sense at all.
24.) Because Jesus totally rode around on a ****ing t-rex. He’s just that badassed. And also, did you know that t-rexes were vegetarians? Ken Ham says so and I believe it.
25.) Because I don’t realize that saying “microevolution is possible but macroevolution isn’t” is as stupid as saying “I can pick my nose for one second but I cannot pick it for 10 seconds.”
26.) Because the education system failed me miserably.
27.) …and then took a big wet dump on my face.
28.) Because I think that knowing how nature works magically obliterates all of its beauty.
29.) Because I didn’t know that evolution has been tested and observed in laboratories.
30.) Because when confronted with that, I refuse to believe it. It’s obviously a scientific conspiracy aimed at turning everyone on the planet into atheists... even though evolution says nothing about god's nature nor whether he, she, it, or they exist.
31.) Because I’m too stupid to realize that Social Darwinism has nothing to do with evolution and is actually a pseudo-scientific bastardization that real science largely rejects.
32.) Because the planet and all the life on it was designed for humans… kinda like how the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NY was designed specifically for the dust-bunnies that may accumulate on the floors.
33.) Because I don’t realize that if we actually found croco-ducks in the fossil record, it would falsify evolution.
34.) Because plenty of respectable people like Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, and Mike Huckabee (who are not scientists) don’t accept evolution, and that somehow validates my opinion.
35.) Because my mother didn’t know not to drink while she was pregnant. She also didn’t know not to repeatedly throw herself down a flight of stairs in an attempt to undo the accident of screwing someone who voted for Bush both times.
36.) Because I don’t know that “irreducible complexity” has been debunked a frazillion times by a frazillion different people and is no more credible an argument than “NEEN-er NEEN-er NEEN-er, I’m right and you’re wrong.”
37.) Because I have never seen a duck evolve into a cat over night, despite the fact that such a thing would be contrary to all known scientific disciplines.
38.) Because I have no imagination, learning is too much effort, I don’t like proven facts, change scares me, and I think deoxyribonucleic acid is something I’m supposed to clean my bathroom floors with.
39.) Because evolution means that I absolutely MUST reject everything else I know, abandon all my beliefs, and start aping around my house like a ****ing monkey. OOOh-ooohh-ooohohh -OOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!
40.) Because I haven’t put my cave on the market and moved into the 21st century yet. I’m waiting for the cave market to rebound from the recent financial meltdown.
41.) Because I don’t know what an atavism is and if you told me, I still wouldn't believe it. Too weird.
42.) Because I don’t know that evolution explains methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus and also provides the answer in preventing it from turning into a superbug and killing massive numbers of people.
43.) Because I don’t know that evolution is routinely used in medicine to diagnose and treat certain illnesses such as genetic ailments, bacterial infections, and viral infections.
44.) Because I believe there is a strong comparison between designed inanimate objects such as buildings, paintings, and watches (which we know were pieced together from identifiable components by human beings) and living organisms (which reproduce with genetic variation under the effects of environmental attrition).
45.) Because I see no significant similarities between humans and apes. *scratches my ass-crack then smells my fingers*
46.) Because I think I’m too special to have been crafted by any natural process and the entire planet, solar system, galaxy, and universe were created with me especially in mind.
47.) Because I unquestioningly swallow the ignorant anti-science bullshit spewed directly from the fraudulent stupid asses of people like Ken Ham, Ted Haggard, Fred Phelps, and Kent Hovind.
48.) Because I’m a freethinker and freethinking really means ignoring anything that contradicts what I already believe.
49.) Because I don’t know what confirmation bias is.
50.) Because despite the fact that in all my years of life, I have never seen any magic, I still believe magic is the answer to anything I don’t immediately comprehend.
2.) Because I’m too stupid and/or lazy to open a ****ing science book or turn on the Discovery Science Channel.
3.) Because if I can’t immediately understand how something works, then it must be bullshit.
4.) Because I don’t care that literally 99.9% of all biologists accept evolution as the unifying theory of biology.
5.) Because I prefer the idea that a (insert god of choice) went ALLA-KADABRA-ZAM MOTHAH-****AHS!!!
6.) Because I can’t get it through my thick logic-proof skull that evolution refers ONLY to the diversity of living organisms which reproduce with genetic variation, not to abiogenesis, or planet formation, or big bang cosmology, or whether God exists, or where they buried Jimmy Hoffa, or why the sky is blue, or how many licks it takes to get to the center of a ****ing Tootsie Pop.
7.) Because the fossil record doesn’t comprise the remains of every single living thing that ever existed on this 4.5 billion year old planet, even though fossilization is a rare process that only occurs under very specific circumstances.
8.) Because science has yet to produce any transitional species… except for the magnitudinous numbers of them found in the fossil record which don’t count because… I uh, OOH LOOK! A SHINY OBJECT!!! *runs away*
9.) Because I know nothing about Darwin except that he had a funny beard.
10.) Because the theory of evolution (which, according to scientists, perfectly explains the richness and diversity of life on Earth) contradicts biblical literalism… ya know, flat Earth with a firmament that keeps out the water, talking snakes, people rising from the dead, bats are birds, flamey talking bushes, virgin births, food appearing out of nowhere, massive bodies of water turning into blood… etc etc.
11.) Because I think the word “theory” actually means: “random stabs in the dark” when it really means: "an explanation of certain phenomena that is well-supported by a large body of facts and often unifies similarly well-supported hypotheses" i.e. atomic theory, gravitational theory, germ theory, cell theory, some-people-are-dumb-mother****ers-theory, etc.
12.) Because the fact that science is self-correcting annoys me. Most of my other beliefs are rigidly fixed and uncorrectable.
13.) Because I am under the severely mistaken impression that evolution implies someone in my very recent ancestry was a chimp.
14.) Because everything appears designed to my mind which was expertly tuned by nature to perceive design, probably as a survival mechanism.
15.) Because some secretly fabulous closet-dwelling televangelist (who unironically preaches hate towards gays) told me that evolution is Satan’s way of leading me away from God.
16.) Because that same guy (who was also caught snorting blow off a male hooker’s shiny naked ass) told me that God planted those fossils to test my faith.
17.) Because I’m 100% correct about everything 100% of the time and there is 0% chance that some snooty Oxford educated scientist with numerous honorary doctorates could possibly know something that I don’t.
18.) Because I don’t know that fossils are found in sedimentary strata corresponding to their age as one would expect if evolution were true.
19.) Because I don’t understand why, if we share common ancestry with chimps, there are still chimps. And when someone with more than three brain cells in their head inevitably replies: “for the same reason Americans share common ancestry with Brits but there are still Brits, I can’t follow the logic. It’s just too big a leap. Who am I, Evil Knievel?
20.) Because my mom dropped me on my head when I was a baby.
21.) Multiple times.
22.) On purpose.
23.) Because the idea that life evolved naturally over billions of years is infinitely less believable than the idea that an 800 year old man crammed two of every species into a giant wooden boat when the entire planet flooded, an event for which there is absolutely no geological evidence whatsoever and also makes no ****ing sense at all.
24.) Because Jesus totally rode around on a ****ing t-rex. He’s just that badassed. And also, did you know that t-rexes were vegetarians? Ken Ham says so and I believe it.
25.) Because I don’t realize that saying “microevolution is possible but macroevolution isn’t” is as stupid as saying “I can pick my nose for one second but I cannot pick it for 10 seconds.”
26.) Because the education system failed me miserably.
27.) …and then took a big wet dump on my face.
28.) Because I think that knowing how nature works magically obliterates all of its beauty.
29.) Because I didn’t know that evolution has been tested and observed in laboratories.
30.) Because when confronted with that, I refuse to believe it. It’s obviously a scientific conspiracy aimed at turning everyone on the planet into atheists... even though evolution says nothing about god's nature nor whether he, she, it, or they exist.
31.) Because I’m too stupid to realize that Social Darwinism has nothing to do with evolution and is actually a pseudo-scientific bastardization that real science largely rejects.
32.) Because the planet and all the life on it was designed for humans… kinda like how the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NY was designed specifically for the dust-bunnies that may accumulate on the floors.
33.) Because I don’t realize that if we actually found croco-ducks in the fossil record, it would falsify evolution.
34.) Because plenty of respectable people like Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, and Mike Huckabee (who are not scientists) don’t accept evolution, and that somehow validates my opinion.
35.) Because my mother didn’t know not to drink while she was pregnant. She also didn’t know not to repeatedly throw herself down a flight of stairs in an attempt to undo the accident of screwing someone who voted for Bush both times.
36.) Because I don’t know that “irreducible complexity” has been debunked a frazillion times by a frazillion different people and is no more credible an argument than “NEEN-er NEEN-er NEEN-er, I’m right and you’re wrong.”
37.) Because I have never seen a duck evolve into a cat over night, despite the fact that such a thing would be contrary to all known scientific disciplines.
38.) Because I have no imagination, learning is too much effort, I don’t like proven facts, change scares me, and I think deoxyribonucleic acid is something I’m supposed to clean my bathroom floors with.
39.) Because evolution means that I absolutely MUST reject everything else I know, abandon all my beliefs, and start aping around my house like a ****ing monkey. OOOh-ooohh-ooohohh -OOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!
40.) Because I haven’t put my cave on the market and moved into the 21st century yet. I’m waiting for the cave market to rebound from the recent financial meltdown.
41.) Because I don’t know what an atavism is and if you told me, I still wouldn't believe it. Too weird.
42.) Because I don’t know that evolution explains methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus and also provides the answer in preventing it from turning into a superbug and killing massive numbers of people.
43.) Because I don’t know that evolution is routinely used in medicine to diagnose and treat certain illnesses such as genetic ailments, bacterial infections, and viral infections.
44.) Because I believe there is a strong comparison between designed inanimate objects such as buildings, paintings, and watches (which we know were pieced together from identifiable components by human beings) and living organisms (which reproduce with genetic variation under the effects of environmental attrition).
45.) Because I see no significant similarities between humans and apes. *scratches my ass-crack then smells my fingers*
46.) Because I think I’m too special to have been crafted by any natural process and the entire planet, solar system, galaxy, and universe were created with me especially in mind.
47.) Because I unquestioningly swallow the ignorant anti-science bullshit spewed directly from the fraudulent stupid asses of people like Ken Ham, Ted Haggard, Fred Phelps, and Kent Hovind.
48.) Because I’m a freethinker and freethinking really means ignoring anything that contradicts what I already believe.
49.) Because I don’t know what confirmation bias is.
50.) Because despite the fact that in all my years of life, I have never seen any magic, I still believe magic is the answer to anything I don’t immediately comprehend.
/sarcasm
Now Creationists are like :FU::FU:
The following 10 users say thank you to Fionn for this useful post:
The following user thanked Dan0692 for this useful post:
10-21-2010, 09:51 PM
#4
Dan0692
Molestation Enthusiast
Originally posted by Fionn
I dunno some Hindu's are pretty specced up on them.
I think it's something to do with the whole 'If I know more about what they follow than themselves, I can show them every loophole and make them look stupid'
Deity's are probably more plausible than ghosts but they're freaky as hell. I try to avoid reading into them otherwise they'd haunt my dreams
I'll add to this. I meant the evil ones. I've been on satanic sites and they have creepy ones. The godly ones i'm down with =D
10-21-2010, 09:55 PM
#5
Fionn
Banned
Originally posted by Dan0692
I dunno some Hindu's are pretty specced up on them.
I think it's something to do with the whole 'If I know more about what they follow than themselves, I can show them every loophole and make them look stupid'
Deity's are probably more plausible than ghosts but they're freaky as hell. I try to avoid reading into them otherwise they'd haunt my dreams
I think it's something to do with the whole 'If I know more about what they follow than themselves, I can show them every loophole and make them look stupid'
Deity's are probably more plausible than ghosts but they're freaky as hell. I try to avoid reading into them otherwise they'd haunt my dreams
Yes exactly!
That is a good way of winning a debate though. You can show them that you know more about their Religion than them.
But I believe in supernatural things like Ghosts, Spirits ect.
It's just because of my personal experiences.
Deity's are not plausible at all in my book :p
10-21-2010, 09:59 PM
#6
Dan0692
Molestation Enthusiast
This is actually quite a good debate. I do not believe in Ghosts or Deity's but I am believer in, for lack of a better term, dimension lapses. It's basically viewed that there could be more than the dimension we're in (M theory, string theory all suggest this) and because they're always moving and so close to each other, sometimes they can slightly lapse over each other causing a visual disturbance.
This along with String and M Theory are only theories, but they have a very sound a scientific approach to explain ghosts
It is also seen as a time lag by some people, and a very good article here:
You must login or register to view this content.
This along with String and M Theory are only theories, but they have a very sound a scientific approach to explain ghosts
It is also seen as a time lag by some people, and a very good article here:
You must login or register to view this content.
10-21-2010, 10:21 PM
#8
Dan0692
Molestation Enthusiast
I'm really not sure about that I haven't decided which theory to back.
A flat universe, with the presence of dark matter would mean the inevitable end of the universe and creating the big freeze, which I don't believe will happen.
Spherical seems quite likely, but I read up on another theory of the shape of the universe being Hyperbolic which is actually really plausible. If you look at the way light and mass spreads itself out within the universe you see that it looks exactly like the way your brain cells look microscopically. This is also the way the universe is shaped in the Hyperbolic theory
Universe
You must login or register to view this content.
Brain Cells
You must login or register to view this content.
It could be coincidence, but this shape could be the shape of life and matter and existence.
I'm no scientist, but even I can see that.
A flat universe, with the presence of dark matter would mean the inevitable end of the universe and creating the big freeze, which I don't believe will happen.
Spherical seems quite likely, but I read up on another theory of the shape of the universe being Hyperbolic which is actually really plausible. If you look at the way light and mass spreads itself out within the universe you see that it looks exactly like the way your brain cells look microscopically. This is also the way the universe is shaped in the Hyperbolic theory
Universe
You must login or register to view this content.
Brain Cells
You must login or register to view this content.
It could be coincidence, but this shape could be the shape of life and matter and existence.
I'm no scientist, but even I can see that.
10-21-2010, 10:25 PM
#9
elfmotat
Rᵤᵥ - ½gᵤᵥR ∝ Tᵤᵥ
Originally posted by Dan0692
This is actually quite a good debate. I do not believe in Ghosts or Deity's but I am believer in, for lack of a better term, dimension lapses. It's basically viewed that there could be more than the dimension we're in (M theory, string theory all suggest this) and because they're always moving and so close to each other, sometimes they can slightly lapse over each other causing a visual disturbance.
This along with String and M Theory are only theories, but they have a very sound a scientific approach to explain ghosts
It is also seen as a time lag by some people, and a very good article here:
You must login or register to view this content.
This along with String and M Theory are only theories, but they have a very sound a scientific approach to explain ghosts
It is also seen as a time lag by some people, and a very good article here:
You must login or register to view this content.
You clearly have no real knowledge of superstring theory. You probably watched a couple documentaries on the Science Channel, looked at some web pages and called it a day. I worked my ass off to have a semi-good mathematical understanding of the theory, and it pisses me off pretty bad when people make pseudo-scientific claims about stuff that they have no real understanding of.
Originally posted by Fionn
At least it's a friendly debate :p
I also think Dimension lapses are quite possible.
I'v studied the string theory quite a bit, And the dimensions within it are explained quite alot via the laws of quantum mechanics.
I also think Dimension lapses are quite possible.
I'v studied the string theory quite a bit, And the dimensions within it are explained quite alot via the laws of quantum mechanics.
Quantum mechanics say nothing of additional dimensions. They extra dimensions are only present in ST to avoid producing non-existent particles with imaginary (square root of a negative number) mass called tachyons. The strings need extra "room" to vibrate in.
Originally posted by Fionn
I'd also like to know your view on having a "Flat" Universe.
Flat universe is confirmed. You must login or register to view this content.
10-21-2010, 10:28 PM
#10
Dan0692
Molestation Enthusiast
Originally posted by elfmotat
You clearly have no real knowledge of superstring theory. You probably watched a couple documentaries on the Science Channel, looked at some web pages and called it a day. I worked my ass off to have a semi-good mathematical understanding of the theory, and it pisses me off pretty bad when people make pseudo-scientific claims about stuff that they have no real understanding of.
Quantum mechanics say nothing of additional dimensions. They extra dimensions are only present in ST to avoid producing non-existent particles with imaginary (square root of a negative number) mass. The strings need extra "room" to vibrate in.
Flat universe is confirmed. You must login or register to view this content.
Quantum mechanics say nothing of additional dimensions. They extra dimensions are only present in ST to avoid producing non-existent particles with imaginary (square root of a negative number) mass. The strings need extra "room" to vibrate in.
Flat universe is confirmed. You must login or register to view this content.
I'm 18, average, with a moderate interest in science. I'm not genius, no need to be patronising I found the way you're trying to belittle me very insulting.
Copyright © 2026, NextGenUpdate.
All Rights Reserved.
