Post: 32 Rule of Surviving Zombieland.
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10-27-2010, 06:42 AM
#1
TheBigRod
uh-may-zuh-zing
Rule #1: Cardio - The faster you run, the further away you can be from a zombie.
Rule #2: The Double Tap - Never assume a zombie is dead. Always make sure with a clean shot to the brain.
Rule #3: Beware of Bathrooms - Zombies can be sneaky. Always be cautious when entering the "facilities".
Rule #4: Wear Your Seatbelt - There will already be enough to worry about, what with the living dead running around. Make sure you're buckled in secure, just in case.
Rule #5: No Attachments - Don't get too attached to your travel buddies. You may be blowing their brains out in the end.
Rule #6: Cast Iron Skillet - Sturdy and portable, this household item makes a great zombie deterrent.
Rule #7: Travel Light - Only carry the necessities. You never know when you're going to have to pick up and go in a hurry.
Rule #8: Get a Kickass Partner - Always good to have an experienced zombie killer on your side.
Rule #9: With Your Bare Hands - Always have some kind of weapon at the ready. Do you really wanna touch these undead freaks with your bare skin?
Rule #10: Don't Swing Low - Despite how some females feel about men, all brains are located in the head. That's where you wanna aim.
Rule #11: Use Your Feet - Running, jumping, kicking away zombies. Your feet are always something you should take full advantage of.
Rule #12: Bounty Paper Towels - When it comes to the undead, you can never be too clean. Always carry these for messes, big or small.
Rule #13: Shake It Off - Whether it be bad thoughts, shock, or a zombie, you gotta shake it off.
Rule #14: Always Carry a Change of Underwear - You never know when you might need it.
Rule #15: Bowling Ball - While it may not kill a zombie, it can definitely incapacitate a number of them at a time to set up for the Double Tap.
Rule #16: Opportunity Knocks - And whenever it does, make sure you answer.
Rule #17: (Don't) Be a Hero - Unless it's a matter of life and death, there's no need to show off.
Rule #18: Limber Up - Nothing will slow you down like a pulled muscle.
Rule #19: Break It Up - It's always good to blow off a little steam. If the zombie apocalypse has you all stressed out, just break something. Just make sure it's not anything important.
Rule #20: It's a Marathon, Not a Sprint - Unless it's time to sprint... then sprint.
Rule #21: Avoid Strip Clubs - If there's one thing I hate more than zombies, it's zombie strippers.
Rule #22: When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out - Always have an escape route. You never know when you might have to run.
Rule #23: Ziploc - Those little bags are for more than sandwiches. They help keep moisture out, so it's always good to have them handy.
Rule #24: Use Your Thumbs - Ours were made opposable for a reason.
Rule #25: Shoot First - You don't have to ask zombies anything anyways.
Rule #26: A Little Sunscreen Never Hurt Anybody - Do you really wanna have to worry about sunburn, too?
Rule #27: Incoming! - Always be on your toes. You never know what could come out of nowhere.
Rule #28: Double-knot Your Shoes - You don't want to trip over unsecured laces while running from flesh hungry zombies, now do you?
Rule #29: The Buddy System - The more, the merrier. Never go it alone.
Rule #30: Pack Your Stain Stick - For those tough, ground in blood stains.
Rule #31: Check the Back Seat - As stated before, zombies can be sneaky.
Rule #32: Enjoy the Little Things - It'll help you keep your sanity.
Rule #33: Swiss Army Knife - Multitools are always a good idea.
Yes, I know there are 33 rules, BUT, they are still extremely useful.
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