Post: Learn perfect grammar FAST. Right here
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11-02-2010, 01:11 AM
#1
Shepleklet
u mad cuz ur ***git
This is a massive problem, as it pisses everyone off when that 7 year old MW2 newfag-leechfag starts a massive fight on a thread screaming shit like:
Originally posted by another user
"omg wut u even doin u fag u r just a stupid ****** GoML FAG."
If you want to be taken seriously on this site, you should AT LEAST have a vague knowledge of correct grammatical usage. This is what I aim to achieve with this thread. Also, in all fairness, you will need to have good grammatical ability in later life as almost all good jobs require you to have exceptional English language skills. So, let's face it, this thread is basically going to make you a millionaire! =D
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This will be kept simple and to the point, with various examples of right and wrong with each point.
1.) Using apostrophes to join words
You're is, as I'm sure you're aware, simply just two words: 'You are.' The apostrophe is used to accentuate the fact that it is two words combining to make one. The apostrophe is ALWAYS used when two words are combining to make one. The apostrophe ( ' ) is used to replace the letter(s) that is being taken out in order to shorted it.
Notable examples include: You're / I'm / He's. In all of these examples, the apostrophe is replacing the diminished letter from the second word.
Examples in sentence form: "He's the rapist, officer, not me!" or "You're going to get rammed in the anus with a block of wood"
PROTIP: Contrary to popular belief, Halloween also uses this grammatical rule. It is spelled "Hallowe'en", not "Halloween". My educated guess is that this means "Hallowed evening", as "Hallowe'en" has been shortened from "evening"
2.) Using POSSESSIVE apostrophes.
Possessive apostrophes are probably the easiest, yet least perfected, grammatical technique. They are, as the name suggests, simply apostrophes that are used ONLY to signify that something belongs to someone / something else.
For example, if you're saying that the bag belongs to your friend, you would say Those anal beads are my friend's NOT Those anal beads are my friends Note the apostrophe.
However, if you want to incorporate tip #1 into this, it would become "That's my friend's pouch of used anal beads"
PROTIP: One thing that you MUST learn is that possessive apostrophes are ALWAYS used after someone's name. Examples: Harry's STD / John's penile infection / The school's suspiciously dirty toilets. BECAUSE THOSE THINGS BELONG TO:........[/color]
3.) Commas.
There are many different ways commas should be used, the most basic of which I will post here.
Commas should be used to break sentences up, otherwise your post will be illegible and, frankly, make you look like a fag. It is notoriously difficult to define when the comma should be used in a long sentence, as I'm finding out while trying to explain this to you.
You should use a comma when breaking down large sentences into smaller chunks, each comma placed where you're going to be strategically separating points in order to make your sentence more readable.
For example: "Hitler shouldn't have killed so many people in WWII, he should have just killed himself after losing his testicle, saving millions of lives."
However, another time commas must be used are when you are acknowledging something. For example, if you are greeting somebody, you would always say "Hello, Jeff" or "Hi, John"
Whenever talking directly to any person, you should always put a comma before you say their name (or whatever you refer to them as). For example: "No, I didn't shit in the milkshake, James." or "Shut up, faggot"[/B]
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I'm really ****ing tired now, it's 1am and I need to take my dog for a walk before I go to bed, so I will probably add more basic lessons to this thread for all you grammatically challenged users tomorrow, depending on the critical reception this thread recieves.
Also, if you want to comment saying shit like
Originally posted by another user
Wow, this was a patronising thread
All the tips on here are valid and should be used, but that doesn't mean that I didn't make this thread to accentuate the fact that the majority of this forum uses grammar that is preceded in quality by my dog.
The following 45 users say thank you to Shepleklet for this useful post:
_V_, Gaia, .Joee, 1337JESUS, AgentBearJew, dfrost182, Drackos, F_S_M, Favo, Fionn, Helios, Hells, helpmeoprah, Inferno_Ace, Jamesyy, Jayy, KillaPwner, Leo99756, Live Life., Luke, Mighty Jebuz, Mr Nice, Mr. Star, Mr. Wood, MV-rockers, NiCiUFF, Octavia, ogbrandon, waltuO, PopScience, Reaper, RedKnight, River J, rockz, Samberg, Sandyballz, ShAdoW_RiDa, JimErased, Strike Venom, The-Don, Tomahawk, Tony_xMUFCx, toophat2fly, Winty
11-02-2010, 08:03 AM
#26
ShAdoW_RiDa
Former Blue Mod
Nice one Shep.
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