Post: Badass Blades That’ll Make You Wish For a Knife Fight
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03-05-2011, 12:39 PM
#1
Whether they’re kitchen knives, straight razors, or shovels — yes, shovels — I’ve rounded up utilitarian blades so cool you’ll go looking for trouble.
If the blade you’re using isn’t capable of doing you severe bodily damage when you inevitably misuse it, something is wrong. Any knife- or razor-type deal you own should be something Rambo, Crocodile Dundee, or Michael Myers would be proud to own. So look sharp and make sure your sharp stuff looks sharp with this cutting-edge guide to battle-worthy blades.
Baxter Blue Steel “Not a Replica” Straight Razor ($240.00)
Best used for: Shaving, ear removal
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There are safety razors on the market that are perfectly capable of clear-cutting stubble from your face, but they’d look pretty silly in the hands of a violent psychopath out for misguided revenge. (We’re talking about Reservoir Dogs, in case you missed that.) The Baxter Blue Steel, a handmade Hart Steel blade manufactured in the U.S. and tested at a Rockwell hardness of 63, is tough enough to slice through more than just hair and stay sharp for longer than you will. For an extra $85, you can add a Horse Butt (heh heh) leather case.
Shun Ken Onion Chef’s Knife ($200)
Best used for: Slicing vegggies, meat, fingers
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We like Ken Onion. Partly because he’s a former Marine who now makes incredible knives, but mostly because he doesn’t scream “Bam!” every time he slices a damn tomato. Personal feelings aside, Onion’s Damascus-style chef’s knife — a 16 layer blade made of high-carbon VG-10 stainless steel with an ergonomic, moisture-resistant handle — is so intense it’s sure to make mincemeat of anything short of a T. rex femur. It resists corrosion, rust, and maintains its sharpness for years of use. It’s also much cooler and intimidating than having a Slap Chop sitting on the kitchen counter.
Pat Crawford Survival Staff ($300)
Best used for: Hiking to Mordor, getting hopelessly lost in the woods
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Walking around unarmed in the wilderness is a horrible idea. But you can yourself against … well, pretty much everything with this nine-component hiking staff/spear/walking stick/fighting baton/smuggling cane/sword/blowgun. Seriously, the staff, which is made of hardened, anodized black aluminum, has all that stuff — and is highly customizable so you can have whatever you need at the ready. Plus, it helps you make it up the wheelchair ramp when you stop at the National Park gift shop to buy a soda. Why do they make those ramps so darn steep?!
Cold Steel Special Forces Shovel ($30)
Best used for: Digging ditches, slaying zombies
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A mere shovel will dig latrines, fire pits, and get your car out of the snow or mud. Yawn. The Cold Steel Special Forces Shovel will do all of that and lop off a zombie’s head if it attacks you between scoops. This uncanny replica of the Soviet Spetsnaz shovel — the multi-purpose digging/killing tool of the Russian equivalent to the Green Berets — is less than 20 inches long, weighs about 27 ounces, and works just as well as a hatchet, cleaver, machete, hammer, or paddle as it does as a shovel. The head and socket are forged from medium carbon steel and heat treated for max durability. And the edges can be sharpened to easily penetrate the soil, wood, or the flesh of a Sasquatch.
HKPorter 0190AC 24-Inch General Purpose Center Cut Bolt Cutter ($50)
Best used for: Seriously?
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It may not sound like the most exciting implement to have in the ol’ toolbox, but think of it this way: Would you rather be the guy who owns bolt cutters, or be the guy who occasionally has to wait for the guy who owns bolt cutters to come over and get him out of a jam? Exactly. At $50, the HKPorter is a fraction of what a locksmith would charge and will see you through a lifetime of lock and rebar snipping without breaking.
Ka-Bar Tactical Defense Institute LDK ($20)
Best used for: FIghting off thugs, opening letters
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The LDK stands for Last Ditch Knife, which means it’ll have your back whether you need to plunge the .8-ounce, surgically sharp piece into someone’s gut to save your life, or you want to carve obscenities into a desk. The LDK is the size of a credit card and was meant to be concealed somewhere about your person — it’s even small enough to fit in a wallet. Its black powder-coated 9CR18 stainless steel construction makes it one of the most durable yet low-profile cutting tools around.
If the blade you’re using isn’t capable of doing you severe bodily damage when you inevitably misuse it, something is wrong. Any knife- or razor-type deal you own should be something Rambo, Crocodile Dundee, or Michael Myers would be proud to own. So look sharp and make sure your sharp stuff looks sharp with this cutting-edge guide to battle-worthy blades.
Baxter Blue Steel “Not a Replica” Straight Razor ($240.00)
Best used for: Shaving, ear removal
You must login or register to view this content.
There are safety razors on the market that are perfectly capable of clear-cutting stubble from your face, but they’d look pretty silly in the hands of a violent psychopath out for misguided revenge. (We’re talking about Reservoir Dogs, in case you missed that.) The Baxter Blue Steel, a handmade Hart Steel blade manufactured in the U.S. and tested at a Rockwell hardness of 63, is tough enough to slice through more than just hair and stay sharp for longer than you will. For an extra $85, you can add a Horse Butt (heh heh) leather case.
Shun Ken Onion Chef’s Knife ($200)
Best used for: Slicing vegggies, meat, fingers
You must login or register to view this content.
We like Ken Onion. Partly because he’s a former Marine who now makes incredible knives, but mostly because he doesn’t scream “Bam!” every time he slices a damn tomato. Personal feelings aside, Onion’s Damascus-style chef’s knife — a 16 layer blade made of high-carbon VG-10 stainless steel with an ergonomic, moisture-resistant handle — is so intense it’s sure to make mincemeat of anything short of a T. rex femur. It resists corrosion, rust, and maintains its sharpness for years of use. It’s also much cooler and intimidating than having a Slap Chop sitting on the kitchen counter.
Pat Crawford Survival Staff ($300)
Best used for: Hiking to Mordor, getting hopelessly lost in the woods
You must login or register to view this content.
Walking around unarmed in the wilderness is a horrible idea. But you can yourself against … well, pretty much everything with this nine-component hiking staff/spear/walking stick/fighting baton/smuggling cane/sword/blowgun. Seriously, the staff, which is made of hardened, anodized black aluminum, has all that stuff — and is highly customizable so you can have whatever you need at the ready. Plus, it helps you make it up the wheelchair ramp when you stop at the National Park gift shop to buy a soda. Why do they make those ramps so darn steep?!
Cold Steel Special Forces Shovel ($30)
Best used for: Digging ditches, slaying zombies
You must login or register to view this content.
A mere shovel will dig latrines, fire pits, and get your car out of the snow or mud. Yawn. The Cold Steel Special Forces Shovel will do all of that and lop off a zombie’s head if it attacks you between scoops. This uncanny replica of the Soviet Spetsnaz shovel — the multi-purpose digging/killing tool of the Russian equivalent to the Green Berets — is less than 20 inches long, weighs about 27 ounces, and works just as well as a hatchet, cleaver, machete, hammer, or paddle as it does as a shovel. The head and socket are forged from medium carbon steel and heat treated for max durability. And the edges can be sharpened to easily penetrate the soil, wood, or the flesh of a Sasquatch.
HKPorter 0190AC 24-Inch General Purpose Center Cut Bolt Cutter ($50)
Best used for: Seriously?
You must login or register to view this content.
It may not sound like the most exciting implement to have in the ol’ toolbox, but think of it this way: Would you rather be the guy who owns bolt cutters, or be the guy who occasionally has to wait for the guy who owns bolt cutters to come over and get him out of a jam? Exactly. At $50, the HKPorter is a fraction of what a locksmith would charge and will see you through a lifetime of lock and rebar snipping without breaking.
Ka-Bar Tactical Defense Institute LDK ($20)
Best used for: FIghting off thugs, opening letters
You must login or register to view this content.
The LDK stands for Last Ditch Knife, which means it’ll have your back whether you need to plunge the .8-ounce, surgically sharp piece into someone’s gut to save your life, or you want to carve obscenities into a desk. The LDK is the size of a credit card and was meant to be concealed somewhere about your person — it’s even small enough to fit in a wallet. Its black powder-coated 9CR18 stainless steel construction makes it one of the most durable yet low-profile cutting tools around.
03-05-2011, 12:49 PM
#2
I_BULLET_I
Fcuk Do I Put Here
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