(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Hey guys, it's been a while since I posted a non-troll thread here lol. I haven't been as active as in the past. A lot has happened to me these past few months. I suffered from depression, I even cut myself and contemplated suicide. Since those days, I found a beautiful girl who I'm in love with. She's helped me a lot with the shit I've gone through.

These "poems" are all by me, about cutting and about love and I might add some I wrote for a few friends

I'm looking for feedback or whatever and feel free to post your own poems/pieces of work

Also, use this thread to discuss cutting, depression, suicide etc. My girl helped me realize writing helps express yourself in such a positive way.

[multipage=Always] Mainly for the people I found out have a problem, who may not even read this. They're on my mind though and I WILL be helping them.


I felt so alone . I'd sit at home and wonder where my life was going and it seemed as if nowhere fast. I had no future and a bad past. So I grabbed that thing and did the job fast. Quick, sharp pain followed by a little heat flash. I smiled. It felt good, I won't lie. The pain inside was almost good enough to die for.

Like anyone would care, who would cry for me? I really felt lonely . Now I see, that I really do have friends and family. Found someone who saved me from me.

Now that I'm done, there's a few others that I see who feel the same way I did. All I can do is to try and help them. The first step is admitting, this addiction gets bad. And when you're loved ones find out, it only makes them sad. Which in the end makes, you feel bad. It's a vicious cycle, and it makes you feel psycho. You may ask yourself "why" but deep inside is where it lays and it just may forever stay. You just have to remember to keep the beast tamed. Honestly, I still get those urges, but just remember, there's always that one person who understands. And won't give a damn. They'll always be there if you need a hand.

ALWAYS


3/26/11

[multipage=Sit Back] Wrote this for a family member.

He has stories for days, but he prefers the purple haze. He hopes the bad memories will eventually fade. The hood, where he was born and raised. Spends his days trying to get out. Working hard, sometimes it seems as if it aint working out. So he goes back, back to the ways like his pops in the days. Now he's sittin at the house wondering, plotting, planning to get out.

It pains me inside he'd rather sit and smoke weed than to sit and SPEAK. But if that's what you need, just realize it's not only hurting me, it's hurting you. And remember, I'll always be here dude. We're two people from different mothers but share the same blood, I consider you my brother. Just remember, you are loved.

[multipage= Discovery]


I found someone. Or they found me. Either way, I couldn't be more happy. I spend my days with you, that's how I'll always want it. But then I get these thoughts, that twist up my stomach. I know it's my insecurities and I should just ignore it. But I don't know what to do, is there anything for it? Then I see you and it makes it all better, you leave me lost for words like a book with no letters. I find it funny that you think the same way I do, but I promise you one thing, it will always be me and you.

[multipage=New Feeling] I was just a sweater with no hood, incomplete. Missing that last puzzle piece. . . Little did I know it was right in front of me. Too bad I waited so long, I had a veil in front of my eyes and was distracted. I was missing someone like a soldier missing in action. We were strangers, friends, best friends and now we're together. And I don't know if it could get any better. I have someone I can be with, no matter the weather. If this is how love feels, I'm deep in it and don't want back out. If someone doesn't like that, I won't back down. I'd do anything for you, I've changed so much. . . for you. You've helped so much I don't know what to say or how I can repay but just know I want to be with you till my dying days. Before you, I was trapped in a maze, now I'm stuck in a daze . . .and i like it. I get this bad feelings sometimes but that's from past experiences but I then realize, I've never experienced THIS.



[multipage=A New Beginning] Life was once a blur, live fast die young was what I preferred. Did dumb things, met dumber people. Almost lost my live, a couple of times, didn't quite know what to do with the pain inside. I found an escape, or so it was I thought. At the end of the day, I couldn't control the thoughts. They ate at me, the demons inside wanted to feed. I gave them what they needed, and as the demons feeded, I realized I was being defeated. Inside I died, outside I cried.





Then there was that light. One crazy night, I opened up and spilled all, cried myself to sleep, curled up in a ball.





That one special person.





Now things are looking up and going great, the demons, they haven't ate. The scars are beginning to fade. . . but the memories will always remain. I look at myself and I have changed, this time for the better. I'm glad to say that my real friends will be here, in any type of weather.





To this day I look at these scars and get tempted to my old ways, but I just realize I have gone to better things. I can't let these things hold me back on rainy days. . . but I do know it's easier to say.





Love and support, I know I got plenty and I thank everyone who has been here since the start of those days, but some battles you gotta fight alone. I know if I do these things I'll be throwing a dog a bone but I'm stronger than that, I just can't go back, and I won't, I pinky promised. But there's always secrets deeps inside us, just in case the time occurs, I will be at a loss for words...but sometimes it's addicting like Star Wars is for nerds.


And as Lord giveth, lord taketh away. So for now, I will enjoy my days and pray for the best, but I know these demons are once and for all off of my chest. I can only hope they won't return, as of now, I expect to be better than the rest.


Show me your scars, I'll show you mine. I'm glad you were there to take the time... to listen to my stories and actually got to know me. You had problems yourself, but you were good at not showing. Just know we're here for each other and there will never be any others. Me and you, Bonnie n Clyde, Shaggy and Scooby Doo. We're a team, a force greater than this world has seen. I know there may be times where it gets rough but I promise to stick around, even during then, being with you is definitely a win.



Just know you aren't the only one with a secret, I can promise you that. Scars come around and sometimes stay but we could say whatever in a day to make the bad things go away, just know, there will be that one person to make it go away even if it comes back another day.




[multipage=Here] She spends her days trying to get away. Home life is filled with pain. There's a place for escape. She thought there was the one boy who would seal her fate, but she guesses she made a mistake. He makes her feel sad, bad and mad. She doesn't know what to do so she locks herself inside her room with the thing . It's sharp and brings pain but it's always there, during sunny days or in the rain. The pain on her wrists stops her heart from throwing fits.

She has friends who really love and care for her, but sometimes she forgets who's really there for her.

We're here.

But I also hope you listen to us. We're here, so open your mind and perk up your ears. Living like this isn't the way to go, take it from people who know.

[multipage=Summary] So I wrote these with my heart poured into them. They're from past experiences and how I feel. Please comment on your favorites, what you liked/disliked etc.


Thanks guys, it means alot ^


These are more like "raps" but it's just my style of writing.

I believe the correct word is depth?

but anyways, these are really good man, I can tell there is true inspiration. Good work, glad you are all good now.

Life....it's all a blurr. I was depressed, been to rehab for taking anywhere between 40-60 hydrocodone 10's a day, bro. I lost my fiance, and my daughter all within a year of itself. I was doped up on MY WAY TO DEAL WITH IT, and luckily, I had a family to take care of me, and send my ass to rehab for 34 days. I'm 23 now, but a couple of years ago, I was dead to the world, and to myself. I still haven't actually gotten over the passing of my my fiance, or the fact the daughter I raised for a year wasn't mine, but with each passing breath I take, I know there's someone out there who has it worse than me.

I met a guy in rehab who was driving his wife and his 3 month old son somewhere, and he had taken some kind of pain pills that can give seizures...and yeah, he's an addict, so he obviously took too much, and flipped his truck and killed them both. He lived, and turned to alcohol and he was stuck in a rut, like myself.

There is much worse in the world, and it's a shame it took something like that for me to realize. Here is a picture I'm going to share with you that is myself about 3 years ago, and my assumed daughter about a week after she was born. She was premature, so she was airlifted to Arkansas Childrens Hospital in Little Rocky, Arkansas.

I found a picture in my closet yesterday of my fiance, and on the back of it, she wrote on it that reads, 'I'm gonna miss yew.'

Just thought I'd throw my two cents in, because depression will eat at you until there's nothing left to eat at.

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3/21/11 is awesome. You are going to be Jim Morrison one day.

That's bad to hear but great to hear that you're still here and contributing to the world. I'm sorry for your lose, I wouldn't know what to do in your situation. Thanks for sharing the story and picture man. It's nothard.



That means a lot. Thanks Skitterz

Wow Richie. That's some well written stuff. Would never expect to see this from you, very strange seeing the other side. Glad to have you back, and glad you got through it all. I watched a friend go through the same exact thing. It's not easy to deal with. Welcome back. <3

By the way, that one you don't have a title for, how about "Discovery"?

respect to you mate, i work within mental health in the uk and u gotta have loads of balls to be able to stand up and admit to what you have.

hope the future is good.

much respect..

j

Thanks man, glad to be back.

Which one? I don't have a title for two of them lol



Thanks. It was hard talking to my family members and some friends about, I've hurt people by admitting it, it's sad but it has to be done.


Thanks alot ^

tl;dr, but read some, at least you never killed your self. thought about it a long time ago myself but i feel in love too, that love was video games, not a girl, this got me off the street and drinking and taking drugs, but at least your ok and safe now.

Simply amazing, you put alot into this and it shows.