(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Hey guys, it's been a while since I posted a non-troll thread here lol. I haven't been as active as in the past. A lot has happened to me these past few months. I suffered from depression, I even cut myself and contemplated suicide. Since those days, I found a beautiful girl who I'm in love with. She's helped me a lot with the shit I've gone through.

These "poems" are all by me, about cutting and about love and I might add some I wrote for a few friends

I'm looking for feedback or whatever and feel free to post your own poems/pieces of work

Also, use this thread to discuss cutting, depression, suicide etc. My girl helped me realize writing helps express yourself in such a positive way.

[multipage=Always] Mainly for the people I found out have a problem, who may not even read this. They're on my mind though and I WILL be helping them.


I felt so alone . I'd sit at home and wonder where my life was going and it seemed as if nowhere fast. I had no future and a bad past. So I grabbed that thing and did the job fast. Quick, sharp pain followed by a little heat flash. I smiled. It felt good, I won't lie. The pain inside was almost good enough to die for.

Like anyone would care, who would cry for me? I really felt lonely . Now I see, that I really do have friends and family. Found someone who saved me from me.

Now that I'm done, there's a few others that I see who feel the same way I did. All I can do is to try and help them. The first step is admitting, this addiction gets bad. And when you're loved ones find out, it only makes them sad. Which in the end makes, you feel bad. It's a vicious cycle, and it makes you feel psycho. You may ask yourself "why" but deep inside is where it lays and it just may forever stay. You just have to remember to keep the beast tamed. Honestly, I still get those urges, but just remember, there's always that one person who understands. And won't give a damn. They'll always be there if you need a hand.

ALWAYS


3/26/11

[multipage=Sit Back] Wrote this for a family member.

He has stories for days, but he prefers the purple haze. He hopes the bad memories will eventually fade. The hood, where he was born and raised. Spends his days trying to get out. Working hard, sometimes it seems as if it aint working out. So he goes back, back to the ways like his pops in the days. Now he's sittin at the house wondering, plotting, planning to get out.

It pains me inside he'd rather sit and smoke weed than to sit and SPEAK. But if that's what you need, just realize it's not only hurting me, it's hurting you. And remember, I'll always be here dude. We're two people from different mothers but share the same blood, I consider you my brother. Just remember, you are loved.

[multipage= Discovery]


I found someone. Or they found me. Either way, I couldn't be more happy. I spend my days with you, that's how I'll always want it. But then I get these thoughts, that twist up my stomach. I know it's my insecurities and I should just ignore it. But I don't know what to do, is there anything for it? Then I see you and it makes it all better, you leave me lost for words like a book with no letters. I find it funny that you think the same way I do, but I promise you one thing, it will always be me and you.

[multipage=New Feeling] I was just a sweater with no hood, incomplete. Missing that last puzzle piece. . . Little did I know it was right in front of me. Too bad I waited so long, I had a veil in front of my eyes and was distracted. I was missing someone like a soldier missing in action. We were strangers, friends, best friends and now we're together. And I don't know if it could get any better. I have someone I can be with, no matter the weather. If this is how love feels, I'm deep in it and don't want back out. If someone doesn't like that, I won't back down. I'd do anything for you, I've changed so much. . . for you. You've helped so much I don't know what to say or how I can repay but just know I want to be with you till my dying days. Before you, I was trapped in a maze, now I'm stuck in a daze . . .and i like it. I get this bad feelings sometimes but that's from past experiences but I then realize, I've never experienced THIS.



[multipage=A New Beginning] Life was once a blur, live fast die young was what I preferred. Did dumb things, met dumber people. Almost lost my live, a couple of times, didn't quite know what to do with the pain inside. I found an escape, or so it was I thought. At the end of the day, I couldn't control the thoughts. They ate at me, the demons inside wanted to feed. I gave them what they needed, and as the demons feeded, I realized I was being defeated. Inside I died, outside I cried.





Then there was that light. One crazy night, I opened up and spilled all, cried myself to sleep, curled up in a ball.





That one special person.





Now things are looking up and going great, the demons, they haven't ate. The scars are beginning to fade. . . but the memories will always remain. I look at myself and I have changed, this time for the better. I'm glad to say that my real friends will be here, in any type of weather.





To this day I look at these scars and get tempted to my old ways, but I just realize I have gone to better things. I can't let these things hold me back on rainy days. . . but I do know it's easier to say.





Love and support, I know I got plenty and I thank everyone who has been here since the start of those days, but some battles you gotta fight alone. I know if I do these things I'll be throwing a dog a bone but I'm stronger than that, I just can't go back, and I won't, I pinky promised. But there's always secrets deeps inside us, just in case the time occurs, I will be at a loss for words...but sometimes it's addicting like Star Wars is for nerds.


And as Lord giveth, lord taketh away. So for now, I will enjoy my days and pray for the best, but I know these demons are once and for all off of my chest. I can only hope they won't return, as of now, I expect to be better than the rest.


Show me your scars, I'll show you mine. I'm glad you were there to take the time... to listen to my stories and actually got to know me. You had problems yourself, but you were good at not showing. Just know we're here for each other and there will never be any others. Me and you, Bonnie n Clyde, Shaggy and Scooby Doo. We're a team, a force greater than this world has seen. I know there may be times where it gets rough but I promise to stick around, even during then, being with you is definitely a win.



Just know you aren't the only one with a secret, I can promise you that. Scars come around and sometimes stay but we could say whatever in a day to make the bad things go away, just know, there will be that one person to make it go away even if it comes back another day.




[multipage=Here] She spends her days trying to get away. Home life is filled with pain. There's a place for escape. She thought there was the one boy who would seal her fate, but she guesses she made a mistake. He makes her feel sad, bad and mad. She doesn't know what to do so she locks herself inside her room with the thing . It's sharp and brings pain but it's always there, during sunny days or in the rain. The pain on her wrists stops her heart from throwing fits.

She has friends who really love and care for her, but sometimes she forgets who's really there for her.

We're here.

But I also hope you listen to us. We're here, so open your mind and perk up your ears. Living like this isn't the way to go, take it from people who know.

[multipage=Summary] So I wrote these with my heart poured into them. They're from past experiences and how I feel. Please comment on your favorites, what you liked/disliked etc.


Thanks guys, it means alot ^


These are more like "raps" but it's just my style of writing.

and thats a good thing... when your feeling down and out dude, come talk to me pm for text messaging number, and when your feeling down and out listen to: Brand New- The Devil and God are Raging Inside me
that cd is what stopped me from pulling the blade on myself..

and thats why on my wrist it says TO THE END. its a my chemical romance song, but what those 3 words mean to me is, i'm rocking out until my ticker stops voluntarily....

I guess not.

Remind me of myself. I sit in school writing about my day and how it progresses. My friend is in juvey and the girl I want wants another guy. I know that everyone has reason to live and love to share, but the times we can remember can be any emotion rather than happy. Keep it up, man. I would've contributed to create my own thread on the notebook I progress in, but I'll wait on that :love: Thanks.

I may not know what your going through and I doubt that anyone here does. But if you ever need someone to talk to I'll try my hardest. My brothers gone through the same shit and I've been there as much as I can, I would love to help you too if you ever find yourself in need of it.

We may not be close Ritchie, or even acknowledge each others existence. But I really really hope your feeling better and don't continue to harm yourself. If lifes good, let it be it's greatest :y:

As for the poems, they're gold. Keep it up :y: and continue to express yourself. It's truly the best way to maintain a positive outlook.


your friend,
Peyton121

wow i can relate to this this is EPIC bro

These make me appreciate my life, thank you for that.
It's always nice to see the world from a different perspective.
These are well written, really deep. That's awesome :y:

Im proud of you that u have actually found the light out of your darkness i want my time to come aswell i guess ever since i broke up with my girl im on this darkness aswell but for sum reason i cant get out of it i feel like such ah fairlure sometime like if i dont belong in this orld

Thanks man, I definitely will take you up on that.



Yeah man. Life has it's ups and downs. I can't wait to see some stuff bro



Thanks Peyton. We haven't talked much before in the past, but maybe we can become friends now Feel free to PM me the link to your fb and we can talk more ^



Thanks



Thanks. I never thought I'd be the one to fall victim to such things, but shit does happen man. I'm glad I can give you some insight to my life and how people feel

Richie209,

Thank you for sharing your story. It takes real courage for a man to admit depression and its results, especially to your peer group.
I am encouraged that you thread may get others to share their stories and show members that it can be a very serious condition and there can be light at the end of the darkness.
I have seen many posts on here from people that were clearly suffering and it important for some to realize that this shit can happen to "tough" people too.
Your thread helps them to understand that you can talk to someone and not fear ridicule. Too many suffer in pain alone and in fear that the ones that care would think less of them and not realize that they would really like to help.

Thank you and I hope your thread can help others or people that read it will reach out to someone they think is having a problem.