(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Hey guys, it's been a while since I posted a non-troll thread here lol. I haven't been as active as in the past. A lot has happened to me these past few months. I suffered from depression, I even cut myself and contemplated suicide. Since those days, I found a beautiful girl who I'm in love with. She's helped me a lot with the shit I've gone through.

These "poems" are all by me, about cutting and about love and I might add some I wrote for a few friends

I'm looking for feedback or whatever and feel free to post your own poems/pieces of work

Also, use this thread to discuss cutting, depression, suicide etc. My girl helped me realize writing helps express yourself in such a positive way.

[multipage=Always] Mainly for the people I found out have a problem, who may not even read this. They're on my mind though and I WILL be helping them.


I felt so alone . I'd sit at home and wonder where my life was going and it seemed as if nowhere fast. I had no future and a bad past. So I grabbed that thing and did the job fast. Quick, sharp pain followed by a little heat flash. I smiled. It felt good, I won't lie. The pain inside was almost good enough to die for.

Like anyone would care, who would cry for me? I really felt lonely . Now I see, that I really do have friends and family. Found someone who saved me from me.

Now that I'm done, there's a few others that I see who feel the same way I did. All I can do is to try and help them. The first step is admitting, this addiction gets bad. And when you're loved ones find out, it only makes them sad. Which in the end makes, you feel bad. It's a vicious cycle, and it makes you feel psycho. You may ask yourself "why" but deep inside is where it lays and it just may forever stay. You just have to remember to keep the beast tamed. Honestly, I still get those urges, but just remember, there's always that one person who understands. And won't give a damn. They'll always be there if you need a hand.

ALWAYS


3/26/11

[multipage=Sit Back] Wrote this for a family member.

He has stories for days, but he prefers the purple haze. He hopes the bad memories will eventually fade. The hood, where he was born and raised. Spends his days trying to get out. Working hard, sometimes it seems as if it aint working out. So he goes back, back to the ways like his pops in the days. Now he's sittin at the house wondering, plotting, planning to get out.

It pains me inside he'd rather sit and smoke weed than to sit and SPEAK. But if that's what you need, just realize it's not only hurting me, it's hurting you. And remember, I'll always be here dude. We're two people from different mothers but share the same blood, I consider you my brother. Just remember, you are loved.

[multipage= Discovery]


I found someone. Or they found me. Either way, I couldn't be more happy. I spend my days with you, that's how I'll always want it. But then I get these thoughts, that twist up my stomach. I know it's my insecurities and I should just ignore it. But I don't know what to do, is there anything for it? Then I see you and it makes it all better, you leave me lost for words like a book with no letters. I find it funny that you think the same way I do, but I promise you one thing, it will always be me and you.

[multipage=New Feeling] I was just a sweater with no hood, incomplete. Missing that last puzzle piece. . . Little did I know it was right in front of me. Too bad I waited so long, I had a veil in front of my eyes and was distracted. I was missing someone like a soldier missing in action. We were strangers, friends, best friends and now we're together. And I don't know if it could get any better. I have someone I can be with, no matter the weather. If this is how love feels, I'm deep in it and don't want back out. If someone doesn't like that, I won't back down. I'd do anything for you, I've changed so much. . . for you. You've helped so much I don't know what to say or how I can repay but just know I want to be with you till my dying days. Before you, I was trapped in a maze, now I'm stuck in a daze . . .and i like it. I get this bad feelings sometimes but that's from past experiences but I then realize, I've never experienced THIS.



[multipage=A New Beginning] Life was once a blur, live fast die young was what I preferred. Did dumb things, met dumber people. Almost lost my live, a couple of times, didn't quite know what to do with the pain inside. I found an escape, or so it was I thought. At the end of the day, I couldn't control the thoughts. They ate at me, the demons inside wanted to feed. I gave them what they needed, and as the demons feeded, I realized I was being defeated. Inside I died, outside I cried.





Then there was that light. One crazy night, I opened up and spilled all, cried myself to sleep, curled up in a ball.





That one special person.





Now things are looking up and going great, the demons, they haven't ate. The scars are beginning to fade. . . but the memories will always remain. I look at myself and I have changed, this time for the better. I'm glad to say that my real friends will be here, in any type of weather.





To this day I look at these scars and get tempted to my old ways, but I just realize I have gone to better things. I can't let these things hold me back on rainy days. . . but I do know it's easier to say.





Love and support, I know I got plenty and I thank everyone who has been here since the start of those days, but some battles you gotta fight alone. I know if I do these things I'll be throwing a dog a bone but I'm stronger than that, I just can't go back, and I won't, I pinky promised. But there's always secrets deeps inside us, just in case the time occurs, I will be at a loss for words...but sometimes it's addicting like Star Wars is for nerds.


And as Lord giveth, lord taketh away. So for now, I will enjoy my days and pray for the best, but I know these demons are once and for all off of my chest. I can only hope they won't return, as of now, I expect to be better than the rest.


Show me your scars, I'll show you mine. I'm glad you were there to take the time... to listen to my stories and actually got to know me. You had problems yourself, but you were good at not showing. Just know we're here for each other and there will never be any others. Me and you, Bonnie n Clyde, Shaggy and Scooby Doo. We're a team, a force greater than this world has seen. I know there may be times where it gets rough but I promise to stick around, even during then, being with you is definitely a win.



Just know you aren't the only one with a secret, I can promise you that. Scars come around and sometimes stay but we could say whatever in a day to make the bad things go away, just know, there will be that one person to make it go away even if it comes back another day.




[multipage=Here] She spends her days trying to get away. Home life is filled with pain. There's a place for escape. She thought there was the one boy who would seal her fate, but she guesses she made a mistake. He makes her feel sad, bad and mad. She doesn't know what to do so she locks herself inside her room with the thing . It's sharp and brings pain but it's always there, during sunny days or in the rain. The pain on her wrists stops her heart from throwing fits.

She has friends who really love and care for her, but sometimes she forgets who's really there for her.

We're here.

But I also hope you listen to us. We're here, so open your mind and perk up your ears. Living like this isn't the way to go, take it from people who know.

[multipage=Summary] So I wrote these with my heart poured into them. They're from past experiences and how I feel. Please comment on your favorites, what you liked/disliked etc.


Thanks guys, it means alot ^


These are more like "raps" but it's just my style of writing.

Not really the kind of writing or poetry I care for but very well done.

Surprised but I enjoyed them

it's nice to see you again richie, this front you have been putting up has been very annoying to say the least. I would actually like to share a story with you, My niece who passed away (15 months old) do to a lack of an immune deficiency was someone i almost lived through. When she died I felt just plain horrible for at least a year, it ruined my entire life. To the point were i was contemplating suicide, but when my I learned my sister in law was pregnant again I began to cheer up. I even wrote a poem for my unborn baby nephew, despite not having with me I can still remember it.

"A nephew is a gift
A nephew is someone to talk to
A nephew is someone to play with
A nephew is someone special
Most of all MY nephew is someone to love"

Now this may sound cheesy, but it helped me get over my niece and helped me understand how life works. I have never been religious but I do believe that everything happens for a reason and I know that my niece (Jillian Terwilliger) is watching over my nephew (Aiden John Terwilliger) everyday.

If you would like you can add this to your thread i just thought i would share it with you, hopefully you will never have to deal with that serious depression in your life again.

i wish i could +rep this post....

That's what I did man. She turned out to be the girl I love. We've been best friends for months but we grew into this beautiful thing, it's crazy.



I never liked poetry PERIOD. lol. I'm surprised I even write now. But thanks for the input, glad you enjoyed them ^



You are right, it was a front to kind of release some of that anger, but it ended up failing eventually. Sorry to hear about your nephew. I'm glad to hear things looked up

To be honest you got some balls to come on here and say some of the things you have just said. The immaturity levels are this forum are sometimes not very hard to miss.
I am proud that this thread has not turned into some kind of flame war and it shows what respect people have for you on this forum.

I am glad you are on the mend and are not cutting yourself anymore, I would love to hear some background of whatmade you depressed so much in the first place that you considered taking your own life, but that can stay private of you wish.

As for the Poems, seems you have a talent, they are quite impressive and I can tell by reading them that they were wrote straight from the heart.

Well done mate:y:

That means a LOT coming from you Garf. Honestly. And I contemplated not doing it, but then I realized I could out-troll many of the members one here. ha ha. Not to mention this is a subject that affects MANY people WORLD WIDE.

As far as the depression, I want to be open about it all, in case someone here feels the same way. It really started when I felt like an outcast, even though I'm one of the "popular kids". I felt used by people, like no one really liked me for me, only for what I could give them(I'm good at making people laugh and making people feel better etc.) I took it more as a cure than a gift. I felt like shit and was stressed on top of it, just wasn't happy with how life was looking for me. So I had those thoughts and did certain things.

I poured my heart into these writings man. I'm honestly surprised so many people liked them.



And be careful with your kids and their friends as they get older man, the kids you never expect could be the ones that are the worst on the inside with this kinda shit. No one expected me to be a cutter or depressed.

Well, you are one of the popular ones and you still felt the way you did. Makes you wonder what the unpopular kids who fall to the hand of bullies feel like. Well thanks for highlighting this and I hope some good comes out of your work.

Some on here might not say it in public but I bet they can relate to at least one of your pieces.

Just glad you are ok now, obviously I do not know you in real life but a life is a life and it would of been tragic to lose one it such sad circumstances:y:

Yeah man, that's why I'm pushing this shit HARD.

And I just want whoever may be feeling down like I was to know they can PM me anytime, I'll give you my FB account, I'm usually always checking it on my phone and pc.

And thanks garf. I've seen enough close people cry from me telling them I cut to realize that

:love:No worries:love: