Post: Beans beans they are good for your heart, the more you eat the more you FART!
04-05-2011, 01:02 PM #1
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Roar
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Everyone in the world thinks farts are funny. But it's more then just a fart. It's a piece of one's inner soul. That soul that digs deep into our bowels & makes it's own name for it's horrifying smell. With Butt percussion, it's possible to connect with others around you, from your asshole to their noses. Hold your breath cause this is going to be a thread all about the Brown thunder!

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Fart-noun - an invisible and often malevolent entity that can only originate from the human rectum; the common fart generally lies dormant until the host expels it.

verb - 1. to forcefully expel or passively allow a unit of gaseous particles from one's rectum.
aka, "blasting the butt trumpet"

Other names for a turd whistling for the right of way:
Blastin' Ass
Cheek Flapper
Blow Ass
Fowl Howl
Rectal tremor
Uncorked symphony
The toothless one speaks
The colonic calliope
Salute your shorts
Insane in the methane
Ghost turd
Hailing Emperor Crush
Frequency Actuated Rectal Tremor
Fizzler
Exercising the meat nozzle


Fun Facts:

Gas is made easy in the human body. Gas seeps into our intestines from our own blood! Gas like reactions caused by your body's bacteria in your beer locker (tummy) sparks up those big ones. You could even get a good Flapper just by swallowing a ton of air.

Farts are: Methane, Hydrogen, Nitrogen, and Oxygen (roughly)
This disincludes the people who probably ate a small demon & go to cause havoc across the land.

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Fart Game:

Safety: Safety is a game where a person openly farts & another hears it. The other who hears it has the right to beat on the person that does not call "Safety" if he says "Door Knob" (punches, kicks, smacks, pinches, ECT.) If the person who Blows Ass does say safety, he cannot get beat. If you forget to call Safety & you start to get horribly beat, run to the NEAREST door knob. Once you reach the door knob all you have to do is touch it, to stop the beating. The person who is doing the beating must stop if the farter reaches and touches a door knob. Yell out DOOR KNOB for more fun affects.

Who you can blame it on:

Kitty cat

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The dog

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The chair made a funny noise!

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"Ah, Wilson why did you just fart man? you stink!"

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-There is a funny smell we are driving by, you guys smell it?
-Damn that trash can smell rank!
-Dang the baby has the toots!

Funny fart videos:





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Some people can hold in farts for hours, but not forever. This is very true for people who work loads, or are around people often. But, the wondrous wonder trumpet has to come out sometime. So, when this busy person falls asleep the bedroom transforms into the sound of a 100 man orchestra. FTL. :pirate:

Originally posted by another user
The animal that has the highest output of farts on this planet is not the human nor the cow. It is the lowly termite that gets top honors as its digestive process and diet make it the perfect candidate. Some have even scapegoated the termite into being responsible for global warming, but this is a stretch.


Woman fart less then men, only because men tend to be larger then women.

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The failed fart: You've been working all day, going over graphs with colleges. You finally get away and have time alone to rip the unspoken blast from under. You lean for just enough for safe exit from your bowels. But good God, what do you do now?! It just didn't release the deathly gas, but the shit as well! What to do?!

Just forget about it & kill yourself.

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Always remember what Confucius say: He who farts in church sits in own pew. :puke:

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I hope you guys enjoyed! Sources are from LADY, books, t.v. shows, movies, websites. All collected from my memory & put together for your enjoyment :y:

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Thanks to Drackos for bein a hater =D
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The following 2 users say thank you to Roar for this useful post:

helpmeoprah, Kylee.
04-06-2011, 12:44 PM #11
Back2Basics
Gym leader
haa made me lol,lmao at the dude with the white pants on with a stain, what a tool.
04-06-2011, 02:29 PM #12
I_BULLET_I
Fcuk Do I Put Here
/facepalm .
04-06-2011, 08:50 PM #13
x_Mercenary--
Climbing up the ladder
Originally posted by Lady
would this be your channel? of you farting? o,o


haha no its a crazy dude who did something with hes ass and he can fart everytime he wants to.
04-06-2011, 08:53 PM #14
lol oh wow!! made me laugh...thumbs up
04-06-2011, 08:53 PM #15
xIAmSchwem
inactive due to life
Haha funny.. thats very random Happy
04-06-2011, 09:48 PM #16
Kombust
At least I can fight
You should put the video of someone lighting a candle by farting in to a lighter =D
04-06-2011, 10:08 PM #17
-Fitz-
Can’t trickshot me!
Beans beans the magical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot, the more you toot the better you feel, so lets have beans for every meal!

Haha that was funny dude, I lol'd. I never heard "rectal tremor" before lol
04-06-2011, 10:13 PM #18
Lol at the family guy one
04-07-2011, 04:46 AM #19
KilllerPanda
Wanted Dead or Alive
Since when does "Exercising the Meat Nozzle" mean farting?

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