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1) When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

5) Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

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1) I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2)You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

3)Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

4)I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

5)If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?

6)This girl rang me up one time, she says "come over, nobody is home", I went over, no one was home!

7)Depression is just anger without enthusiasm.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.







1.Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

2.Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is actually prohibited there?

3.Why doesn't 'onomatopoeia' sound like what it is?

4.You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that
you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day

5.I wish I could say I am not going to write anymore

6.Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?

7.The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me
and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase 'Regards' again

8.Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out,
blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid did that, but how did we all know how to fix the
problem? There were no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out - moral of the story isf today's kids are soft

9.Was learning cursive really necessary?

10.How many times am I allowed to ask 'what', before I say 'sorry I didn't get you', when I don't want to in the first place?

11.Is it okay to believe in soap operas?

Funny Random Facts

1.Rubber bands last longer when they are refrigerated

2.There are 158 verses in the national anthem of Greece and no one's ever memorized them

3.There are more chickens than people in the world

4.'Screeched' is the longest mono-syllabic word in English

5.All 50 states are listed on back of the $5 dollar bill on top of the Lincoln Memorial

6.Peanuts are used in making dynamites

7.The ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain

8.A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours

9.A goldfish has a memory of 5 seconds

10.You cannot sneeze with your eyes open










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Funny Things To Do In Public

Get to school early one day and if you can get into your classroom you can do this. Write out the biggest, most ridiculous assignment on the board. Also
include an impossible deadline and huge penalty if they don't finish the assignment. Watch the look on your classmates face when they come into the class in the morning and realize what is on the board.

Bring a rope and a Cowboy hat to a local park, find some geese and have yourself a fun time trying to roping some geese.

Do a fake fall - falling down is funny

Try to play basketball in a really weird place

Act out a skit with multiple at the bus stop, in a bank or some other public place

Dress up really weird and walk around the block waving to people you have never seen

Fill a condom up with water and leave it on a busy side walk. Observe the results.

Freely distribute mini bottles of blowing bubbles in crowded public places

Go into the adult section of a video store with a friend and comment loudly on the titles you have seen and the how great the actors were.

Go to the library and loudly ask where the erotica section is and how many books you can check out at once. Ask if they have read one of these books and
if they can tell you about some of the "good parts"

Print up a bunch of "lost pet" signs, instead make signs for a missing grilled cheese sandwich or your imaginary friend Steve. Tape them up in lots of public places, and make sure people see you doing it. Be sure to look very sad.

Put on a business suit and walk around a toy store playing with the toys really enthusiastically until they ask you to leave.

Sit in a large cardboard box on the side of the road with a sign that says, "Why lie? I need a BEER!!"

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Original Right :carling: