Post: 167 Insults and Comebacks
Options
06-20-2011, 04:06 AM
#1
-Steven-
Hurah!
ENJOY
- I'll start off "Are you always an a**hole or do you save it for those special days."
- Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
- Are your parents siblings?
- As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
- Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.
- Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
- Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
- Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?
- Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?
- Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
- Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!
- Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.
- Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?
- Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change!
- I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
- Brother: Why do you smell funny?
You: It's called Soap - don't think you've ever smelt it before...
- Man: Hey there, haven't I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, and that's why I don't go there anymore.
- You: I reckon you'd make a great exchange student.
Friend: Wow, you really think so?
You: Yes, we might be able to exchange you for someone thats not an ass.
- You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face
- Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
- I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
- Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
- You got so many shopping carts in your backyard, you can start your own grocery store
- Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory
- You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen
- Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is
- Looks like sombody set your face on fire, and tired to put it out with a fork
- If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid
- You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.
- We all sprang from apes, but you didn't spring far enough.
- When you were born, the police arrested your dad, the doctor slapped your mom, animal control euthanized your brother, and A&E made a documentary that saved your life.
- If you really want to know about mistakes you should ask your parents
- In a nutshell, personally I consider him a cancer and better removed, avoided - and the less anyone heard of him or his supporters the better.
- hey you hav somthing on your chin 3rd 1 down
- Ever since I have seen you in your family tree, I have wanted to cut it down.
- Why dont you shut up and give that hole in your face a chance to heal
- You’re so stupid you got fired from the m&m factory for throwing out all the "w’s"
- Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was
- Who do you think is the best comedy team? ME? I think it's your parents....they made the biggest joke!
- Is that your face? Or did your neck just throw up?
- Your momma's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone
- You didn't fall out of the stupid tree. You got drug through dumbass forest.
- You’re house is so small, you ordered a large pizza and had to eat it outside
- Your mother and father hated you so much you bath toys were an iron and a toaster
- Why don't you check up on eBay and see if they have a life for sale.
- Your family tree is a cactus because everybody on it is a prick
- Learn from your parents mistakes - get sterilized
- Nice tan, orange is my favourite colour
- ooks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down
- With a face like yours, I wish I was blind
- You would look like your momma... if you grow a moustache. And some horns. And gain a few thousand pounds
- Your momma is so poor, she went to the wishing well and threw in an IOU
- I took a picture of you and taped it to my ass, but you were still uglier.
- Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake a sleeping bag
- Look, you aint funny. Your life is just a joke.
- Yo momma is like a racecar driver. She burns lots of rubbers!
- You're so ugly, apes want to adopt you
- well at least I dont have 2 moms and a chemistry kit
- Your Mom is soo fat, that when she sits around the house, she actaully sits "around" the house.
- Your momma so fat shes your mommas breath is so bad i called her up for phone sex and i got an ear infection
- your mommas lip is so big she uses a deodorant stick as a chap stick
- Yo mom is so ugly, when she tries to enter a ugly contest, they told her "sorry, no pros"
- Your mom is so fat when she went to take a bath the lifeguard said the beach is closed.
- your momma is so fat that i saw her the other day and she had 2 passports. when i asked her why she said one was for her right butt
- cheek and the other was for her left.
- Yo Mama so old, her ID number was written in Roman numerals".
- YOUR MOM IS SO FAT WHEN GOD SAID LET THERE BE LIGHT HE TOLD HER TO GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!!
- Yo mamma is so nasty, she puts salt water down her pants to keep the crabs fresh
- Let’s get off moms, because I just got off yours
- I ain’t got nothing bad to say about your mamma, her face says it all
- Hey!!! I don’t have a mom, me and my dad share yours
- You know, your moms real nice- she would even give me the hair off her back
- Yo mommas so dumb she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go!
- Yo mamma is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans!
- Yo mamma is on a weight diet, cant wait to eat
- I don’t know what sucks more, your jokes or your mom
- Yo mamma is like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs there balls on her
- Yo mamma is like a piece of wood, flat and easy to nail
- I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in
- You are so ugly that when your mama dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering
- I hear when you were a child your mother wanted to hire somebody to take care of you, but the mafia wanted too much.
- Your so ugly when you popped out the doctor said aww what a treasure and your mom said yeah lets bury it
- Your mamma so fat she has to wear 2 watches because she covers two time zones
- Your mom just called me, and she asked, that on your way home, you pick up a loaf of bread, bag of milk and some condoms, so she doesn't make the same mistake, twice
- You're an accident waiting to happen...it's a good thing I didn't wait that long
- wish cancer on you and all your family
- If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes....then why do you wear a bra?
- Your so fat they have to grease the door and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get you through
- You're living proof that Snow White and Dopey had sex
- You lied you said you were ugly, you're not, you're hideous
- Yo momma is so fat your dad has to kneel up in bed to see if its daylight!
- Yo mama's so dumb that she went to the Clippers game to get a haircut
- You’re such a... a... a word has yet to be invented to describe what you are. But you are one, and a big one at that.
- Your house is so small your front and back door are on the same hinge.
- Hey I'm here from the ugly face factory I'm here to get the face you stole... oh woops that must be your real face
- You're so ugly you make the second ugliest person in the world look like a super model
- yo momma so fat they had to change "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"
- think there's a bit of meatloaf on your neck there... wait... nevermind, it's just your face
- Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date
- Don't you have other things to think of? Oh! I forgot! Your brain capacity is too small for you to be able to think!
- Your mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car
- Yo momma so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass.
- If I got a nickel every time you try to dis me but fail, I’d make more money a week than Bill Gates in a month
- You were such an ugly kid Michael Jackson kicked you out of Neverland.
- Yo mama so stupid, she sold your car for gas money.
- They say art is ugly...so I guess you're God's best piece of art
- Close your mouth! Crap is coming out of it.
- Your mamma is so stupid she tried to drown a fish.
- you're face is so ugly that even your mother didn't know which end to put the diaper on.
- Your Momma's so fat when she goes out of the house in her red jogging suit all the kids yell.."Hey Kool-Aid!"
- Your so stupid, you were the first person to have an IQ in the negatives
- (Phone ringing)... Excuse me it's your village, they want their idiot back
- Yo momma is so nasty that your dad brings her to work with him and locks her in the closest just so he won't have to kiss her goodbye
- Your ears are so big, when turn around, the wind direction changes
- You know how ugly you are? Your face is what turned Michael Jackson white!
- Hey!! They made a song about your weight 8675309
- Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the air, she got stuck
- You're so ugly, Chuck Norris is afraid of you
- Yo mamma is so fat, her pants size is "Bitch lose some weight".
- The only positive thing about you is your HIV status
- You’ve got a face like a lazy bee keeper
- Yo mamma so old, her memory is in black and white
- lol lol ....i like that joke you just said ......but your entire life is more of a hystorical joke
- You're so dirty that when you wash yourself in the shower, you lose ten pounds
- If stupidity was a disease, you would be dead right now.
- If brains were gold you would be very poor.
- What's that big fat ugly thing on your neck? Oh, that's your head!
- What's a mix between an alligator, ostrich, do-do bird, and a mud fence? I don't know but it looks like you!
- If I wanted your opinion, I would give it to you.
- Where did those pants come from? They look like you slept in them!
- You’re so stupid your IQ score came back negative
- Your mother’s so fat, the reason for global warming his her farting.
- You’ve got ugly all over you like rhinestones on a dragqueen.
- If you ever feel free to call, trust me I won’t be free at the moment
- You're so bent you make a banana look like a ruler
- I could give you a penny for your thoughts and get change back.
- (when the person takes a knee, e.g. to tie his/her shoe), push them over and say "COW TIPPING!!
- Why don't you go away and play Russian roulette with all chambers fully-loaded?
- You so fat you turn an airplane to a submarine
- I've pushed hotter people out of my way just to go find a place to play with myself
- Your so ugly you dont need a costume for Halloween
- Your so ugly, the orphanage said no
- Yo mom's so easy a caveman can do her
- About as sharp as a shoelace
- called your boyfriend gay and he slapped me with his purse
- Yo mamas so fat she fell in love and broke it
- Jesus loves you but everyone else thinks your an idiot.
- Get a life...And do something with it..
- You're so ugly your girlfriend won’t have to use birth control, your face will do just fine
- Yo momma so old she got divorced to Fred Flintstone
- Can you turn around I'd like to see your face... wait, that's not your ass?
- Your momma is so fat I get a head ache just thinking about her
- You've got a face only a mother could love, if that mother was blind in one eye, and had a cataract in the other.
- Your mama is so stupid she thought athletes foot would make her run faster
- You're so ugly that when you cry, your tears come out of the back of your head.
- I wish I had a lower I.Q., maybe then I could enjoy your company.
- Would you like some cheese and crackers to go with that whine ?
- Yo momma's so stupid I said turn on the black light and she turned off the light
- Your hair is so fried that it looks it caught on fire, died, went to hell and came back
- You’re so stupid, you make Koko look like Einstein
- I like you ... Keep being a screw up you’re making me look successful
- Yo mama is so fat she pees out doughnut glaze
- You’re so ugly that when you wanted to sleep outside, you turned off the sun by looking at it.
- You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat
- You are so annoying you should enter Big Brother
- Me: Hey are you allowed in your mums bedroom? Victim: Yes Me: Then can you get my pants from last night?
- Kill two birds with one stone, your fat your ugly, done.
Added insults from users:
"You wanna suck on my what?" by: MeGusta
The following 3 users say thank you to -Steven- for this useful post:
The following user groaned -Steven- for this awful post:
06-22-2011, 05:34 AM
#21
erbisme4
Penn State '16
Originally posted by gottascore19
Gathering all these insults took alot of time. I went through and found decent insults and comebacks from many different websites. NOT ALL OF THEM ARE GOOD! Please correct me if i made some mistakes. Also ill added insults that you post below.
ENJOY
Added insults from users:
"You wanna suck on my what?" by: MeGusta
ENJOY
- I'll start off "Are you always an a**hole or do you save it for those special days."
- Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
- Are your parents siblings?
- As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
- Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.
- Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
- Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
- Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?
- Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?
- Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
- Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!
- Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.
- Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?
- Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change!
- I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
- Brother: Why do you smell funny?
You: It's called Soap - don't think you've ever smelt it before...
- Man: Hey there, haven't I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, and that's why I don't go there anymore.
- You: I reckon you'd make a great exchange student.
Friend: Wow, you really think so?
You: Yes, we might be able to exchange you for someone thats not an ass.
- You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face
- Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
- I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
- Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
- You got so many shopping carts in your backyard, you can start your own grocery store
- Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory
- You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen
- Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is
- Looks like sombody set your face on fire, and tired to put it out with a fork
- If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid
- You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.
- We all sprang from apes, but you didn't spring far enough.
- When you were born, the police arrested your dad, the doctor slapped your mom, animal control euthanized your brother, and A&E made a documentary that saved your life.
- If you really want to know about mistakes you should ask your parents
- In a nutshell, personally I consider him a cancer and better removed, avoided - and the less anyone heard of him or his supporters the better.
- hey you hav somthing on your chin 3rd 1 down
- Ever since I have seen you in your family tree, I have wanted to cut it down.
- Why dont you shut up and give that hole in your face a chance to heal
- You’re so stupid you got fired from the m&m factory for throwing out all the "w’s"
- Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was
- Who do you think is the best comedy team? ME? I think it's your parents....they made the biggest joke!
- Is that your face? Or did your neck just throw up?
- Your momma's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone
- You didn't fall out of the stupid tree. You got drug through dumbass forest.
- You’re house is so small, you ordered a large pizza and had to eat it outside
- Your mother and father hated you so much you bath toys were an iron and a toaster
- Why don't you check up on eBay and see if they have a life for sale.
- Your family tree is a cactus because everybody on it is a prick
- Learn from your parents mistakes - get sterilized
- Nice tan, orange is my favourite colour
- ooks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down
- With a face like yours, I wish I was blind
- You would look like your momma... if you grow a moustache. And some horns. And gain a few thousand pounds
- Your momma is so poor, she went to the wishing well and threw in an IOU
- I took a picture of you and taped it to my ass, but you were still uglier.
- Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake a sleeping bag
- Look, you aint funny. Your life is just a joke.
- Yo momma is like a racecar driver. She burns lots of rubbers!
- You're so ugly, apes want to adopt you
- well at least I dont have 2 moms and a chemistry kit
- Your Mom is soo fat, that when she sits around the house, she actaully sits "around" the house.
- Your momma so fat shes your mommas breath is so bad i called her up for phone sex and i got an ear infection
- your mommas lip is so big she uses a deodorant stick as a chap stick
- Yo mom is so ugly, when she tries to enter a ugly contest, they told her "sorry, no pros"
- Your mom is so fat when she went to take a bath the lifeguard said the beach is closed.
- your momma is so fat that i saw her the other day and she had 2 passports. when i asked her why she said one was for her right butt
- cheek and the other was for her left.
- Yo Mama so old, her ID number was written in Roman numerals".
- YOUR MOM IS SO FAT WHEN GOD SAID LET THERE BE LIGHT HE TOLD HER TO GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!!
- Yo mamma is so nasty, she puts salt water down her pants to keep the crabs fresh
- Let’s get off moms, because I just got off yours
- I ain’t got nothing bad to say about your mamma, her face says it all
- Hey!!! I don’t have a mom, me and my dad share yours
- You know, your moms real nice- she would even give me the hair off her back
- Yo mommas so dumb she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go!
- Yo mamma is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans!
- Yo mamma is on a weight diet, cant wait to eat
- I don’t know what sucks more, your jokes or your mom
- Yo mamma is like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs there balls on her
- Yo mamma is like a piece of wood, flat and easy to nail
- I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in
- You are so ugly that when your mama dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering
- I hear when you were a child your mother wanted to hire somebody to take care of you, but the mafia wanted too much.
- Your so ugly when you popped out the doctor said aww what a treasure and your mom said yeah lets bury it
- Your mamma so fat she has to wear 2 watches because she covers two time zones
- Your mom just called me, and she asked, that on your way home, you pick up a loaf of bread, bag of milk and some condoms, so she doesn't make the same mistake, twice
- You're an accident waiting to happen...it's a good thing I didn't wait that long
- wish cancer on you and all your family
- If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes....then why do you wear a bra?
- Your so fat they have to grease the door and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get you through
- You're living proof that Snow White and Dopey had sex
- You lied you said you were ugly, you're not, you're hideous
- Yo momma is so fat your dad has to kneel up in bed to see if its daylight!
- Yo mama's so dumb that she went to the Clippers game to get a haircut
- You’re such a... a... a word has yet to be invented to describe what you are. But you are one, and a big one at that.
- Your house is so small your front and back door are on the same hinge.
- Hey I'm here from the ugly face factory I'm here to get the face you stole... oh woops that must be your real face
- You're so ugly you make the second ugliest person in the world look like a super model
- yo momma so fat they had to change "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"
- think there's a bit of meatloaf on your neck there... wait... nevermind, it's just your face
- Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date
- Don't you have other things to think of? Oh! I forgot! Your brain capacity is too small for you to be able to think!
- Your mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car
- Yo momma so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass.
- If I got a nickel every time you try to dis me but fail, I’d make more money a week than Bill Gates in a month
- You were such an ugly kid Michael Jackson kicked you out of Neverland.
- Yo mama so stupid, she sold your car for gas money.
- They say art is ugly...so I guess you're God's best piece of art
- Close your mouth! Crap is coming out of it.
- Your mamma is so stupid she tried to drown a fish.
- you're face is so ugly that even your mother didn't know which end to put the diaper on.
- Your Momma's so fat when she goes out of the house in her red jogging suit all the kids yell.."Hey Kool-Aid!"
- Your so stupid, you were the first person to have an IQ in the negatives
- (Phone ringing)... Excuse me it's your village, they want their idiot back
- Yo momma is so nasty that your dad brings her to work with him and locks her in the closest just so he won't have to kiss her goodbye
- Your ears are so big, when turn around, the wind direction changes
- You know how ugly you are? Your face is what turned Michael Jackson white!
- Hey!! They made a song about your weight 8675309
- Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the air, she got stuck
- You're so ugly, Chuck Norris is afraid of you
- Yo mamma is so fat, her pants size is "Bitch lose some weight".
- The only positive thing about you is your HIV status
- You’ve got a face like a lazy bee keeper
- Yo mamma so old, her memory is in black and white
- lol lol ....i like that joke you just said ......but your entire life is more of a hystorical joke
- You're so dirty that when you wash yourself in the shower, you lose ten pounds
- If stupidity was a disease, you would be dead right now.
- If brains were gold you would be very poor.
- What's that big fat ugly thing on your neck? Oh, that's your head!
- What's a mix between an alligator, ostrich, do-do bird, and a mud fence? I don't know but it looks like you!
- If I wanted your opinion, I would give it to you.
- Where did those pants come from? They look like you slept in them!
- You’re so stupid your IQ score came back negative
- Your mother’s so fat, the reason for global warming his her farting.
- You’ve got ugly all over you like rhinestones on a dragqueen.
- If you ever feel free to call, trust me I won’t be free at the moment
- You're so bent you make a banana look like a ruler
- I could give you a penny for your thoughts and get change back.
- (when the person takes a knee, e.g. to tie his/her shoe), push them over and say "COW TIPPING!!
- Why don't you go away and play Russian roulette with all chambers fully-loaded?
- You so fat you turn an airplane to a submarine
- I've pushed hotter people out of my way just to go find a place to play with myself
- Your so ugly you dont need a costume for Halloween
- Your so ugly, the orphanage said no
- Yo mom's so easy a caveman can do her
- About as sharp as a shoelace
- called your boyfriend gay and he slapped me with his purse
- Yo mamas so fat she fell in love and broke it
- Jesus loves you but everyone else thinks your an idiot.
- Get a life...And do something with it..
- You're so ugly your girlfriend won’t have to use birth control, your face will do just fine
- Yo momma so old she got divorced to Fred Flintstone
- Can you turn around I'd like to see your face... wait, that's not your ass?
- Your momma is so fat I get a head ache just thinking about her
- You've got a face only a mother could love, if that mother was blind in one eye, and had a cataract in the other.
- Your mama is so stupid she thought athletes foot would make her run faster
- You're so ugly that when you cry, your tears come out of the back of your head.
- I wish I had a lower I.Q., maybe then I could enjoy your company.
- Would you like some cheese and crackers to go with that whine ?
- Yo momma's so stupid I said turn on the black light and she turned off the light
- Your hair is so fried that it looks it caught on fire, died, went to hell and came back
- You’re so stupid, you make Koko look like Einstein
- I like you ... Keep being a screw up you’re making me look successful
- Yo mama is so fat she pees out doughnut glaze
- You’re so ugly that when you wanted to sleep outside, you turned off the sun by looking at it.
- You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat
- You are so annoying you should enter Big Brother
- Me: Hey are you allowed in your mums bedroom? Victim: Yes Me: Then can you get my pants from last night?
- Kill two birds with one stone, your fat your ugly, done.
Added insults from users:
"You wanna suck on my what?" by: MeGusta
i actually used #3 on River J couple days ago. Check out his profile
06-22-2011, 05:37 AM
#22
erbisme4
Penn State '16
Originally posted by gottascore19
Gathering all these insults took alot of time. I went through and found decent insults and comebacks from many different websites. NOT ALL OF THEM ARE GOOD! Please correct me if i made some mistakes. Also ill added insults that you post below.
ENJOY
Added insults from users:
"You wanna suck on my what?" by: MeGusta
ENJOY
- I'll start off "Are you always an a**hole or do you save it for those special days."
- Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
- Are your parents siblings?
- As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
- Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.
- Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
- Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
- Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?
- Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?
- Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
- Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!
- Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.
- Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?
- Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change!
- I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
- Brother: Why do you smell funny?
You: It's called Soap - don't think you've ever smelt it before...
- Man: Hey there, haven't I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, and that's why I don't go there anymore.
- You: I reckon you'd make a great exchange student.
Friend: Wow, you really think so?
You: Yes, we might be able to exchange you for someone thats not an ass.
- You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face
- Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
- I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
- Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
- You got so many shopping carts in your backyard, you can start your own grocery store
- Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory
- You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen
- Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is
- Looks like sombody set your face on fire, and tired to put it out with a fork
- If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid
- You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.
- We all sprang from apes, but you didn't spring far enough.
- When you were born, the police arrested your dad, the doctor slapped your mom, animal control euthanized your brother, and A&E made a documentary that saved your life.
- If you really want to know about mistakes you should ask your parents
- In a nutshell, personally I consider him a cancer and better removed, avoided - and the less anyone heard of him or his supporters the better.
- hey you hav somthing on your chin 3rd 1 down
- Ever since I have seen you in your family tree, I have wanted to cut it down.
- Why dont you shut up and give that hole in your face a chance to heal
- You’re so stupid you got fired from the m&m factory for throwing out all the "w’s"
- Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was
- Who do you think is the best comedy team? ME? I think it's your parents....they made the biggest joke!
- Is that your face? Or did your neck just throw up?
- Your momma's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone
- You didn't fall out of the stupid tree. You got drug through dumbass forest.
- You’re house is so small, you ordered a large pizza and had to eat it outside
- Your mother and father hated you so much you bath toys were an iron and a toaster
- Why don't you check up on eBay and see if they have a life for sale.
- Your family tree is a cactus because everybody on it is a prick
- Learn from your parents mistakes - get sterilized
- Nice tan, orange is my favourite colour
- ooks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down
- With a face like yours, I wish I was blind
- You would look like your momma... if you grow a moustache. And some horns. And gain a few thousand pounds
- Your momma is so poor, she went to the wishing well and threw in an IOU
- I took a picture of you and taped it to my ass, but you were still uglier.
- Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake a sleeping bag
- Look, you aint funny. Your life is just a joke.
- Yo momma is like a racecar driver. She burns lots of rubbers!
- You're so ugly, apes want to adopt you
- well at least I dont have 2 moms and a chemistry kit
- Your Mom is soo fat, that when she sits around the house, she actaully sits "around" the house.
- Your momma so fat shes your mommas breath is so bad i called her up for phone sex and i got an ear infection
- your mommas lip is so big she uses a deodorant stick as a chap stick
- Yo mom is so ugly, when she tries to enter a ugly contest, they told her "sorry, no pros"
- Your mom is so fat when she went to take a bath the lifeguard said the beach is closed.
- your momma is so fat that i saw her the other day and she had 2 passports. when i asked her why she said one was for her right butt
- cheek and the other was for her left.
- Yo Mama so old, her ID number was written in Roman numerals".
- YOUR MOM IS SO FAT WHEN GOD SAID LET THERE BE LIGHT HE TOLD HER TO GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!!
- Yo mamma is so nasty, she puts salt water down her pants to keep the crabs fresh
- Let’s get off moms, because I just got off yours
- I ain’t got nothing bad to say about your mamma, her face says it all
- Hey!!! I don’t have a mom, me and my dad share yours
- You know, your moms real nice- she would even give me the hair off her back
- Yo mommas so dumb she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go!
- Yo mamma is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans!
- Yo mamma is on a weight diet, cant wait to eat
- I don’t know what sucks more, your jokes or your mom
- Yo mamma is like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs there balls on her
- Yo mamma is like a piece of wood, flat and easy to nail
- I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in
- You are so ugly that when your mama dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering
- I hear when you were a child your mother wanted to hire somebody to take care of you, but the mafia wanted too much.
- Your so ugly when you popped out the doctor said aww what a treasure and your mom said yeah lets bury it
- Your mamma so fat she has to wear 2 watches because she covers two time zones
- Your mom just called me, and she asked, that on your way home, you pick up a loaf of bread, bag of milk and some condoms, so she doesn't make the same mistake, twice
- You're an accident waiting to happen...it's a good thing I didn't wait that long
- wish cancer on you and all your family
- If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes....then why do you wear a bra?
- Your so fat they have to grease the door and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get you through
- You're living proof that Snow White and Dopey had sex
- You lied you said you were ugly, you're not, you're hideous
- Yo momma is so fat your dad has to kneel up in bed to see if its daylight!
- Yo mama's so dumb that she went to the Clippers game to get a haircut
- You’re such a... a... a word has yet to be invented to describe what you are. But you are one, and a big one at that.
- Your house is so small your front and back door are on the same hinge.
- Hey I'm here from the ugly face factory I'm here to get the face you stole... oh woops that must be your real face
- You're so ugly you make the second ugliest person in the world look like a super model
- yo momma so fat they had to change "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"
- think there's a bit of meatloaf on your neck there... wait... nevermind, it's just your face
- Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date
- Don't you have other things to think of? Oh! I forgot! Your brain capacity is too small for you to be able to think!
- Your mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car
- Yo momma so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass.
- If I got a nickel every time you try to dis me but fail, I’d make more money a week than Bill Gates in a month
- You were such an ugly kid Michael Jackson kicked you out of Neverland.
- Yo mama so stupid, she sold your car for gas money.
- They say art is ugly...so I guess you're God's best piece of art
- Close your mouth! Crap is coming out of it.
- Your mamma is so stupid she tried to drown a fish.
- you're face is so ugly that even your mother didn't know which end to put the diaper on.
- Your Momma's so fat when she goes out of the house in her red jogging suit all the kids yell.."Hey Kool-Aid!"
- Your so stupid, you were the first person to have an IQ in the negatives
- (Phone ringing)... Excuse me it's your village, they want their idiot back
- Yo momma is so nasty that your dad brings her to work with him and locks her in the closest just so he won't have to kiss her goodbye
- Your ears are so big, when turn around, the wind direction changes
- You know how ugly you are? Your face is what turned Michael Jackson white!
- Hey!! They made a song about your weight 8675309
- Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the air, she got stuck
- You're so ugly, Chuck Norris is afraid of you
- Yo mamma is so fat, her pants size is "Bitch lose some weight".
- The only positive thing about you is your HIV status
- You’ve got a face like a lazy bee keeper
- Yo mamma so old, her memory is in black and white
- lol lol ....i like that joke you just said ......but your entire life is more of a hystorical joke
- You're so dirty that when you wash yourself in the shower, you lose ten pounds
- If stupidity was a disease, you would be dead right now.
- If brains were gold you would be very poor.
- What's that big fat ugly thing on your neck? Oh, that's your head!
- What's a mix between an alligator, ostrich, do-do bird, and a mud fence? I don't know but it looks like you!
- If I wanted your opinion, I would give it to you.
- Where did those pants come from? They look like you slept in them!
- You’re so stupid your IQ score came back negative
- Your mother’s so fat, the reason for global warming his her farting.
- You’ve got ugly all over you like rhinestones on a dragqueen.
- If you ever feel free to call, trust me I won’t be free at the moment
- You're so bent you make a banana look like a ruler
- I could give you a penny for your thoughts and get change back.
- (when the person takes a knee, e.g. to tie his/her shoe), push them over and say "COW TIPPING!!
- Why don't you go away and play Russian roulette with all chambers fully-loaded?
- You so fat you turn an airplane to a submarine
- I've pushed hotter people out of my way just to go find a place to play with myself
- Your so ugly you dont need a costume for Halloween
- Your so ugly, the orphanage said no
- Yo mom's so easy a caveman can do her
- About as sharp as a shoelace
- called your boyfriend gay and he slapped me with his purse
- Yo mamas so fat she fell in love and broke it
- Jesus loves you but everyone else thinks your an idiot.
- Get a life...And do something with it..
- You're so ugly your girlfriend won’t have to use birth control, your face will do just fine
- Yo momma so old she got divorced to Fred Flintstone
- Can you turn around I'd like to see your face... wait, that's not your ass?
- Your momma is so fat I get a head ache just thinking about her
- You've got a face only a mother could love, if that mother was blind in one eye, and had a cataract in the other.
- Your mama is so stupid she thought athletes foot would make her run faster
- You're so ugly that when you cry, your tears come out of the back of your head.
- I wish I had a lower I.Q., maybe then I could enjoy your company.
- Would you like some cheese and crackers to go with that whine ?
- Yo momma's so stupid I said turn on the black light and she turned off the light
- Your hair is so fried that it looks it caught on fire, died, went to hell and came back
- You’re so stupid, you make Koko look like Einstein
- I like you ... Keep being a screw up you’re making me look successful
- Yo mama is so fat she pees out doughnut glaze
- You’re so ugly that when you wanted to sleep outside, you turned off the sun by looking at it.
- You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat
- You are so annoying you should enter Big Brother
- Me: Hey are you allowed in your mums bedroom? Victim: Yes Me: Then can you get my pants from last night?
- Kill two birds with one stone, your fat your ugly, done.
Added insults from users:
"You wanna suck on my what?" by: MeGusta
i actually used #3 on River J couple days ago. Check out his profile
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