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I've always admired GoldenGains' FaceBook trolling and, lettuce be cerial, since there's no decent trolls on NGU I thought I'd post some of his work that I and shitloads of others have enjoyed. Most of it will make you audibly laugh simply because of his vocabulary but some of you will not understand it because this is NGU after all.
In case you didn't understand that, this is not my work. I will do some FaceBook trolling and post my own original content here if I get hold of a decent FaceBook account to do it on that is believable.
Keep checking back because I'll be posting them into this original post as I come across them as in the original thread the images are broken and I've to go through the pages.
As GoldenGains himself said, welcome Rohan Rildil.
Fat Bitch: You must login or register to view this content.
"Wall was too big to post the screenshot so here it is
"My life is lifting
My life is lifting
My bench is raw
I saw a myspace angle
Of that I'm sure.
It was her smiling on facebook
She had a pale moon tan
Not even blind drunk would I sleep with that,
'Cause she looks like a man
You're photoshopped. You're photoshopped
You're photoshopped, it's true.
I saw your face in a cropped display,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never bulk as big as you
Yeah, she caught my eye,
As she waddled on by.
I could see from her face, her B.M.I was
****ing high,
And I don't think that I'll poke her again,
'Cause she has a waistline that spans to the end.
You're photoshopped. You're photoshopped
You're photoshopped, it's true.
I saw your face in a cropped display,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never bulk as big as you
You're photoshopped. You're photoshopped
You're photoshopped, it's true.
A myspace angle with a butter face,
Cycling tech, I only gained a pound or two
But it's time to face the truth,
I'll never bulk as big as you"
Can We Fornication: You must login or register to view this content.
Wall post was too big to screenshot so here it is.
"Female spies with vaginas
Trying to steal your sexual orientation
Fickle girls from Sweden
Dream of silver faced ejaculations
And if you want these kind of dreams
Let's have fornication
You're the dregs of the world
And need masculine rehabilitation
My cock may writhe like a beast
At least it settles in the final location
It's understood that my hard wood
Sells having fornication
Pay attention very well
To wake the spell of straightness
My foreskin is on your chin
Whore, now your bodies raging
Sexuality reborn
Hardcore soft porn
Dream of having fornication
Dream of having fornication
Marry me girl be my ferry to the world
Be my very own poon citation
Your teenage hide with my wang inside
Getting high on taboo sensations
And bang me hard on the boulevard
We're having fornication
Fourth base may be the final frontier
But it's made with a penile displacement
Cocaine will smear my spear
As I'm ripping bongs from gas station to station
And anal is not far away
We're having fornication
Born and raised by lesbian gays
Control of sexual orientation
Everybody's going there
And I don't mean on playstation
Sexuality reborn
Hard core soft porn
Dream of having fornication
Dream of having fornication
Dream of having fornication
Dream of having fornication
Dildo obstruction leads to a very rough road
But it also heeds creation
And rubber snakes in a girls badger
They're just another mute vibrator
And menstrual waves couldn't save the world
From us having fornication
Pay attention very well
To wake the spell of straightness
Thicker than the rest, you'll feel my test (-osterone)
But this is what you're craving
Sexuality reborn
Hardcore soft porn
Dream of having fornication
Dream of having fornication
Dream of having fornication
Dream of having fornication"
Long Trolling On PlentyOfFish, Dating Site: You must login or register to view this content.
GoldenGains- Just thought I'd message you because whilst admiring your profile I happened to become completely beguiled by your resplendent pulchritude. So far this site has only acted as a disservice to me, completely depleting any original hopes/expectations I had of finding a decent woman. However my opinion has changed upon your reviewing your profile.
Imagine it if you will as Bear Grylls stranded in the merciless african savannah. He sits there trying to start a fire and in an instance he strikes his flint, sending sparks flying onto a small woolen cloth, within moments a fire is lit. So far on pof I have been flint-less, my love an inflammable fire. But now I'm not so sure, your eloquence along with your beauty have sent an indefatigable cascade of sparks into the tenebrous chasm of futility that is my internet dating expectations, now illuminating it with hope. I would love to discourse further with you
Teddy - hehe cute message. hoping the cloth isn't the dress i'm wearing out in this african savannah lol or we will be in trouble and me with no clothes. and yes i feel you there, this site hasn't been what i was hoping for.
hope to hear from you soon
teddy xo
GoldenGains - Well should we need to use your clothes as kindling for the fire I'll happily spend the afternoon gallivanting around the wilderness collecting spiderwebs to weave for you into a silk dress So is that desire for dating still alive? Or will I have to re-kindle it?
Teddy - hehe your so sweet. but i'm scared of spiders so we'll just use banana leaves lol
i think that desire for dating is still alive. i dont give up so easily question is do i need to get an extra flint to respark you? hehe
GoldenGains - Just talking to you has re-sparked enough for there to be potential. For our first date I was thinking we'd come back to mine, maybe flirt a little and drink some wine as I rattle of a few humorous anecdotes. Then as the night grows old we could heat up some popcorn and cuddle on the pull-out sofa whilst watching sleepless in seattle. How does that sound?
Teddy - ok so i can throw away this flint so not to cause a fire lol good
hmmm interesting pick on the movie. but how about something scary? i might need something to grab hold of
GoldenGains - It's settled, we'll watch 'the strangers' then. But I might have to wash the sheets on the pull out sofa though. You see the other week it was my little brother Jimmy's 18th birthday, so I got him a taiwanese escort for the afternoon and haven't got around to cleaning up. That doesn't bother you does it?
Teddy - Um, are u serious? lol
GoldenGains - Yeah, I love my brother he's the sweetest little goober! But because of his brain disease he has limited social contact and lately he's developed this habit of making sculptures out of cantaloupes. It's all he does really, just sit around and paint/glue/staple features onto them until they resemble a human face. You know plastic eyes, hair, lipstick etc...It's a great past-time if you ask me.The only problem is in the last month we've found him abusing his creations sexually, at the moment he's been carving a gaping hole where the mouth should be and ejaculating inside it. Terrible mess to clean up, but I suppose the cooling texture of the melon must feel great on his skin. Because of this I thought I'd do something uncouth and make it a birthday to remember.
So how do you like your popcorn?
Oh heavenly blessed beauty: You must login or register to view this content.
Song About Herpes: You must login or register to view this content.
Wall post was too big to screenshot so here it is.
"Hey, hey, hey
My cumshot stains, like a technicolor robe in the stormy rain
I knew I wouldn't fukc you, and so I went and let you blow my mind
You drank my sweet poon-cream, the stuff made from every single wet dream I dream
I knew when you confided, that your herpes still resided, I wouldn't take you from behind
I would have fist ya, if not for that blister blister on your genitalio, it's scary yo', the way it spreads ain't fair, you know!
Yeah I'm swole sister, but I'm not gonna kiss a single part of your smoo...tonight
Hey, hey,hey
I bust in time, I'm so glad you like to snack and deep-throat me
You gave my cock affection, a diamond hard erection, we can't deny
I'm still undressed, bound to beat right off onto your yearning chest
I believe in you, like a pilgrim, you're a sinner, and are always gonna blow mankind
I would have fist ya, if not for that blister blister on your genitalio, it's scary yo', the way it spreads ain't fair, you know!
Yeah I'm swole sister, but I'm not gonna kiss a single part of your smoo...tonight
The way you scratch your rug, a herpes cure is the only drug you need
You're so ganga', I'm so thug, makes sense you're the one im creaming on
You see, I'm acting out my fantasy, exploding till there's a marshmallow sea
I want the world to see, you clean from herpes
I would have fist ya, if not for that blister blister on your genitalio, it's scary yo', the way it spreads ain't fair, you know!
Yeah I'm swole sister, but I'm not gonna kiss a single part of your smoo tonight,
Yeah I'm swole sister, but I'm not gonna kiss a single part of your smoo...tonight
Hey, hey,hey
Golden - Superb thanks, just got done re-enforcing my front yard with some pikes, sand traps and barbwire snares to chasten trespassing children or the homeless. Kind of my weekend project. How about you gawjus?
Ginger - hahaha what!!! really?!?!?! how come??
yeah my weekend was one big party haha need to slow down a bit tho!!! but cant help it
coz when i hear the music i just need to go out n dance!
Golden - Well due to certain events I'm kind of building a medieval trap system in my front yard at the moment to keep out the haters and smack-tards.
The back story is kind of funny actually. About a month ago I was on the couch pwning noobs on xbox when suddenly the doorbell rang, normally I wouldn't answer but I needed a break from my win streak, those 8th grade phags were getting depressed. At the time it was pouring rain and standing on my door step was some ragged, malodorous man dripping in his own filth. Basically he gave me some bs story about how "the shelter kicked him out" and "he got bashed sleeping at the train station" and he needed a place to stay for the night. However I wasn't going to have some septic fly magnet roaming my house staining my furniture without a hefty price to pay. Albeit, seeing he was poor as sh*t I proposed an alternative.
So I offered him the same initiation that I give to people wanting to join my badass motor cycle gang (the Scarlet Cobras). If he wanted to have the privilege of spending a night in my humble abode he would have to perform an "Amish Hand Grenade" on himself. Now you probably don't know what an amish hand grenade is so let me tell you. To perform one you wrap a q-tip in steel wool, then thread it into your cock. That's phase one, next you grab your cock and rip out the steel q-tip like your pulling the pin of a grenade. Only problem is, the urethra is a rather fragile place and when this guy did it his cock teared and exploded in a bloody squirt. His scream was deafening, just buckling in agony, pupils dilated and everything. It was pretty sickening to be honest, even when I found the q-tip it was all covered with jagged, sanguinary flesh. But after a few minutes he passed out on the pavement and just lay there twitching. Lol fukkin pussy!
Ever since then I've wanted to keep vagrants like that away from my property, hence why I've got sand traps and electroshock trip wires being strategically installed. But enough of my rambling! You sound like a bit of a party animal so we gotta tee up a date to get slizzard baby!!!
POF Whale: You must login or register to view this content.
Golden[/b] - If beauty were candles you'd be able to open your own wax museum
Whale - lol how cheezy, but still very sweet. xx
Golden[/b] - Yeah but it's not a bad way to break the ice with a beauty such as yourself So you sell real estate ay? Are there any houses at the moment that come pre-built with medieval trap systems?
Whale - I have no idea
Golden[/b] - Bummer. You sure you can't find out? I mean I'm happy to build my own but it would just be a time saver if they came already made.
Whale - lol think you better build your own.
Golden[/b] - Yeah, at least this way I can make their pain inflicting mechanisms more sinister. That way the next time those snot nosed little sh**s play in my yard they'll fall victim to a more draconian punishment. So baby you dtf?
Whale - dtf?
Golden[/b] - It means Down to Flex.
It's kinda this little game I have where two people load up on prunes and nachos till they feel a shit coming. At that point they both get naked and stand opposite each other, then squat down and flex their body until the muscular tension causes one of them to lose control of rectal contraction and gravy spills out of their ass. Loser buys dinner.
Updated more shit done by him. I'll organise the thread into different parts possibly using multipages with a certain number of images/posts on each page.
Any advice or input about how to make the thread easier to navigate and to make it neater, so to speak, is appreciated.