(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); When I went to the toilets earlier, a woman screamed, "This is for women!".

"So is this", I replied, unzipping my jeans.
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They say so many people die because of alcohol..
Perhaps they never realized how many of them are born because of it.
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I no longer see my wife and kids and it's all because of gambling.

I won shit loads of money and moved to Spain.
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When I was a child, my dad tried to force-feed me.

After a while, my mum said, "Just use a spoon, Mike. You're not a Jedi."
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The voices in my head assure me that i am not schizophrenic.
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My mate said, "I like your car."
I said, "It's not very practical now we've got a baby."
He said, "How about I buy it off you."
I said, "Yeah go on then. Three grand?"
He said, "You've got yourself a deal."
I said, "Nice one... you're going to make a brilliant dad."
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Wife: Hi, did you eat?
Me: Did you eat?
Wife: Are you copying me?
Me: Are you copying me?
Wife: I love you!
Me: Yes, I already ate.
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Bloody hilarious.

I can't find the funny. It must be hiding.

Nice jokes bro, Keep it up

Thanks, for those who don't like it, these are jokes for English people as Americans have a different sense of humour

I don't believe another nationality can really have a different sense of humor...but all in all some of these were pretty funny :y:

What about day 16?

They aren't yours.

Of course they're not mine.