Post: The Jolly Rancher story!
09-15-2011, 10:47 PM #1
DCLXVI
Smoke weed.
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Originally posted by another user
Steve and his girlfriend Samantha went off to college in August. She went to Florida State, he went to Penn. So, she decides to fly to PA to visit him. He was really happy to see her so he decided to give her some oral action.
He had done this numerous times before and he always enjoyed doing it...but for some reason, this time, she smelled really horrible, and she tasted even worse. He didn't want to offend her though because he hadn't seen her in months...so he put a Jolly Rancher in his mouth to cover it up, even though it didn't do much to help.
In the course of eating her out, he accidentally pushed the candy inside of her... and stuck a finger in to grab it out. He took it out, and put it back into his mouth and bit it. Only...it wasn't the Jolly Rancher.
It was a nodule of gonorrhea.
As in, the blister-like structure that gonorrhea makes filled with diseased pus was the size of a ****ing Jolly Rancher and the poor guy BIT it. I guess it was really dark in the room. He freaked out and started vomiting all over the place when it exploded in his mouth...
He demanded to know what was going on, turns out she had cheated on him at a club like, the first week of college, and ****ed some random guy and the stupid bitch had no clue what was wrong with her. She noticed a strange smell though.
So now, Steve is freaking out that he now has gonorrhea of the mouth and God knows what else.


This is absolutely disgusting, and i cannot eat a jolly rancher anymore. Enjoy.
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09-16-2011, 12:35 AM #11
MelestedRabbit
Ultimate Sex God
thats ****ing sick!

---------- Post added at 10:35 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:33 AM ----------

thats sick, i looked it up, **** im going to vomit
09-16-2011, 12:44 AM #12
dxdx174
Climbing up the ladder

The following 2 users groaned at dxdx174 for this awful post:

DCLXVI, Sweets
09-16-2011, 12:55 AM #13
blazer425
Music Producer / Gamer
I would be so ****ed, I would just kill that b*tch.
09-16-2011, 01:09 AM #14
Did he died?
09-16-2011, 01:58 AM #15
DCLXVI
Smoke weed.
Originally posted by EvilRip View Post
Did he died?


I'd imagine he killed himself shortly after the incident.

The following user thanked DCLXVI for this useful post:

George
09-16-2011, 01:59 AM #16
Laney
Ex-Staff
to lazy to google what a jolly rancher is :lol:

post a pic?
09-16-2011, 02:15 AM #17
DCLXVI
Smoke weed.
Originally posted by Laney View Post
to lazy to google what a jolly rancher is :lol:

post a pic?


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09-16-2011, 03:18 AM #18
Laney
Ex-Staff
Originally posted by Equinox
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mmmm... tasty!
09-16-2011, 08:06 AM #19
MelestedRabbit
Ultimate Sex God
is that why you like dick ?

---------- Post added at 06:04 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:00 PM ----------

im going to vomit :/

---------- Post added at 06:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:04 PM ----------

im going to vomit :/

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