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Here I am telling you the words I never said
While ya'll out partying, there's children that end up dead
Why the fuck we got soldiers dyin out there for no reason
9/11 wasn't set up its what the governments got us believin
All we all we is to have some world peace
But we cant do that when everyone walks around with a piece
We're in a world where guns are used as the answer
With people that say "Those bullets had him movin like a dancer"

See while your bitchin bout you dont have heat
There's kids in Africa who don't even got shoes on they feet
Were so caught up in the shit we dont know where to look
We got kids thinkin they go hard cause they got 50 likes on FaceBook
These days people think its fun to go take others lives
I want you to go confront that mama while she cries
When your closest friend says he got your back but its all lies
When they choose drugs over you, thats why I cant look in your eyes
If you went in my mind it would be a crazy trip
I would spray all of ya'll down with my lyrical clip
When I close my eyes and look into my head
All I see are the words that I wish I said



Well thats it, if you want you can drop a verse too. I would love opinions on this also. If you want to be negative, tell me what I should improve on =D

I don't know if he means this, but what I think he's saying is that the content and the subjects of your rap are common. Everybody does this sort of sympathetic, world peace sort of rap, and I think they do it because people empathize with it. Anyways, no offense to what you've wrote, but it's a bit ordinary. Use your own life as a sort of foundation for your lyrics, let your mind work and don't let whats going on in the world effect your rhymes. GO HARD!

I have a lot of different stuff that i've written, and this was just some something I wanted to show. Like everything in this, has happened to me before. Times were I wished I would've opened my mouth when that subject was brought up but I never did. You know what i'm sayin?

I don't think NGU is gangsta enough to have two threads on a very similar subject. I don't think one thread would last that long, never mind two.

But I really liked your verse delete. :wub:

Sure. You should expand on each area you simply covered in these lines. You have a lot to work off of from problems in Africa to Facebook, lol. One thing I can never get from just reading a rap is the flow, it's just hard to match you know? The way I'm probably saying it is contradictory to yours, either way, keep at it. I wanna hear some deep, sick, nasty shit from you. Something like Immortal lol.

---------- Post added at 02:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:17 PM ----------



Never mind you, we are beyond the "gagnsta" class. I know that any rap on here is better than that mainstream radio shit. I prefer reading these over listening to the radio.

Yea bro, sadly my mic is broken so I can't record right now till I fix it or buy a new one -___-

But thanks for your advice

Guys,Im confused.Isn't there a thread just like this...but "BETTER"?Idk...im not sure....

Meh its okay. My advice is you should be more like Tupac.

That and the one about african children is from a nas song and the 911 line sounds like it's from an IT song. Those examples are beside the point. The point of my comment was to inspire delete to do his own thing and not mimic other artists. Be original!