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Witty banter this week is on the topic of Eminem, most of this is just true information that has been twisted.
Origin and Career Start
Anyway, we all know how rappers are made. If not, it's time to have that important talk about the
Words, the
G's, the
Beats and the
M.C.'s.[sup]1[/sup]
Everyone has a destiny...
There's a path that fate calls them to with a subtle, tidal attraction...
It directs the coincidence, synergy and timing of our lives...
Turns out that destiny has the direction and aim of a blind sniper though. Destiny just falls on the poor suckers below it without structure or reason, as was proven in 2002.
Marshall Bruce Mathers III, commonly known as Eminem (stylized as EMINƎM for extra homosexuality), was born in 1979 to a mother who was addicted to any pharmaceutical drug in downtown Los Angeles. Due to constantly getting beat up at school and at home, Marshall idolized to have super powers, where he wanted to be a comic book writer until his Uncle Ronnie [s]molested him.[/s] showed him the glories of hip-hop.
In 2002, Eminem hit stardom with the best selling rap album of the year,
The Eminem Show. This is quite a landmark achievement for an albino rapper.
Predictably his success had attracted the attention of moral conservatives who've hindered his sales with the same devastating efficiency that they also used to block the success of Harry Potter novels and Black Sabbath records.[sup]2[/sup]
At the same time, in a different place, Tiger Woods became the top earning professional golfer of the year. This was much more interesting.
Discography
1996:
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1999:
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2000:
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2002:
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2004:
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2009:
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2010:
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Eminem - The Real [s]Slim Shady[/s] Freudian Headfuck
“I'm bout as normal as Norman Bates, with deformative traits
A premature birth that was four minutes late
Mother... Are you there? I love you
I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel”
~ Eminem on his relationship with women.
Rap is a dangerous game for fictional characters. The fatality rate for various "
punk asses", "
motherfuckers" and "
gangsta M.C.s" is shockingly high and gangster rappers have murdered thousands of completely made up rival drug dealers and gang members in their lyrics but no fictional character will meet their end more certainly and horrifically than a woman in an Eminem song.
This misogynistic streak is [s]not[/s] fully to blame on Eminem's shaky relationship with his mother, Debbie R. (Nelson) Mathers-Briggs-Shady. Things were off to a rocky start when Eminem's mother would get drunk and flick lit cigarette butts at him during the second trimester. As a professional divorce lawyer's client, Debbie never let Eminem get attached to a solid father figure and insisted that he not address them as "dad" or "father" but as "the defendant" or "the second party".
When Eminem was seven she wrote a scathing unauthorized tell-all biography about him, citing his manic depressive behavior, failed relationships in pre-school and that time he threw up on the ferris wheel when they took a trip the Deer Acres Amusement Park. After her son grew up to be successful Debbie R. (Nelson) Mathers-Briggs-Shady sued him for defamation of character in a rap song.
Eminem had further trouble with women when he married his high school sweetheart Kim. Things started badly when they couldn't decide whether the theme of the wedding should be "trailer trash paradise" or "crack house chic". Things got even worse when he noticed that his new wife began to share several similarities with his mother such as having a child and divorcing her first husband to start relationships with other men.
After recording a song where he drowns Kim in a car trunk, getting a tattoo and going through an early-midlife crisis; the two reconciled and remarried in 2006. They divorced in 2007, making it the longest lasting and most successful celebrity marriage in 2006.
The only female Eminem has not shown violent animosity toward is
You must login or register to view this content.. That will only last until Hailie drops a multi-platinum hip-hop album describing her troubled childhood and dissing bat fuck crazy father.
[sup]1[/sup]All up in this crib, holla!
[sup]2[/sup][s]Harry Potter and Black Sabbath are a book series and a rock group (respectively) that[/s] Fuck it.
There will not be a Week 4 this week because I don't feel good and don't really want to do one. I'll start up against next week or the week after with a Week 4 poll.