Post: Week 4 Winner - America
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05-18-2012, 02:17 PM
#1
Hannah
Banned
America is the name of the world's greatest country in the entire freaking world.[sup]1[/sup] America is bigger and better than anywhere else on the planet. Covering about 40% of the North American continent (and constituting the sole part of it that is cared about)[sup]2[/sup], it is known primarily for its civil integration and greasy food. Only 2% of the American population have a visa and these people are either actual legal Mexicans or deranged scientists looking for Ciudad Perdida in the wrong country.
Origin
America originated when a group of Puritans left their home town of England to the new world, where they shoved a flag in the ground and called it their territory. Paying no heed to the natural wildlife or the Native Indians, the settlers continued and ensured that they would have the perfect feast to celebrate their arrival to the new world.
Naturally, severely angered politicians charged that "no taxation without representation" was a prerequisite to good municipal affairs, a statement that became the battle cry of the entire nation. In response, George Fredrickson imposed new laws in an attempt to curb opposition. Among these were the Stamp Act, which required cashiers to stamp every receipt with a smiley face, and the Townshend Acts, which merely existed for the sake of sounding official.
Certifiably pissed, Americans went on strike for seven long years during which only a few loyal Americans played lobster. Occasionally, battle would break out in a particularly nasty meeting wherein a disgruntled loyalist would speak out against the Revolution. Tales of heated debates at the plummeting financial system have been recorded in paintings and oral traditions dating all the way back to the time when they supposedly occurred.
Eventually, burgeoning George Washington assumed leadership of the country under a new title, President.
Expansion
Washington's first acts were the basics of allowing the greatest thinkers and minds to flow in from Europe and have their seat in the powerhouse that was America. When language barriers became cumbersome, Washington had all of the Irish excommunicated, which led to You must login or register to view this content.'s involvement in political affairs and the budding of the American era. However years were still slow for some time.
Several leaders later, Andrew Jackson decided to take a drastic measure in the development of the proverbial holy grail of countries, one that would go down as one of the biggest blunders in history. In a move that would later inspire the film You must login or register to view this content., he sent out an initiative mandating that he had more power than the Supreme Court and Congress. He is sometimes known as the man with the biggest balls in the world with his straightforward approach and complete lack of care and concern for the safety of others. Jackson "negotiated" with the French to offer reparations for American ships seized during the Napoleonic upheavals. When the money never came through, Jackson insisted that the American government seize French territory in America. Although this never happened, foreign legations were closed and Jackson still never apologized for not receiving the money.
Soon, America had expanded as far west as the Pacific coast, with an increasing density every year. In fact, the population had grown so close together that, in 1862, they were all connected into one gargantuan travel line known as the Transcontinental Railroad.
Internal Strife
However, a growing rift between northern and southern parts was exposed as more and more You must login or register to view this content. took the reins. The heart of the problem lay in the ******s, a crucial laborer's union stretching across the entire nation that threatened to strike if they didn't receive their equal rights. Southern representatives (who felt the ******s did a sub-par-at-best job, when they worked at all) prevented this equality from going to effect but still wanting to claim that one whole vote in the American Congress. Acting president Abraham Lincoln refused to let the south secede from the United States because he had grown too power hungry and couldn't fathom the idea of only governing half of the United States.
Ironically, members of the ******s Union were offered similar privileges from both the north and the south; that is, not many. HR advisers for the Union and the Confederacy (Ulysses S. Grant and Robert E. Lee, respectively), eventually negotiated terms for the reunification of America, which occurred in 1865. The age of America had finally truly begun.
Modern Day
America is so large and powerful that it has been accepted by nearly all as a country.[SUP][citation needed][/SUP] Embracing this image, America has modeled many of her laws after policies she feel would be appropriate to a country of their size and stature. Many more legitimate countries are angered by this sense of entitlement that America has.
From the France to the Israel to the [s]Burma[/s] [s]Myanmar[/s] [s]Burma[/s] that country that's near Vietnam and Laos, leaders refuse to acknowledge America as even semi-legitimate. Nevertheless, America persists in its efforts to, according to their most recent public statement, "maximize self-interest while retaining as much regard for whatever culture may be found in our newly developed areas as is economically possible and/or feasible".
America is not only a lucrative business as well as a country, it is currently the only world power with a seat in the UN (with the exception of Disneyworld). The political legitimacy of America has often been disputed due to the corporate interests involved, and there have, indeed, been several instances where its political future standing has been called into question. Most critics cite the fact that the American UN delegate only ever makes one contribution to the debates[SUP]3[/SUP] as evidence of America's true political standing.
Another subversive issue America faces is the increasing debt. The devotion to tradition has put Americans into tremendous debt, whether it be due to their insistence on using pure crude oil instead of those silly and fashionably tacky wind turbines and solar panels.
Humanitarian efforts
In light of their bloody hands when it comes to foreign policy, a few [s]insane[/s] Americans have attempted to reach out to developing countries with the initiative "Money for Nothing", a maxim that America says "defines the true essence of America". Anyway, UNICEF has donated many of its surplus profits to help the development of several Middle Eastern countries.
Critics point out, however, that the money donated are only from the allotted portion; that is the total donated money is approximately .3% of what America could afford to dole out, and is thus insufficient to actually aid the benefactors in any way. Additionally, they point out that several countries that need the help don't get it because either America isn't aware of them (likely) or another force is at play.[SUP]4[/SUP]
Nevertheless, Americans occasionally participate in goodwill programs offered by private institutes, which actually have been known to affect the situations it purports to help favorably. This gives them a false sense of security, which in turn makes them incredibly pompous and egotistical.
[/INDENT]
[/INDENT]
[SUP]3[/SUP]"Uhm...which way should I vote if I wanted to maximize profits?"
[/INDENT][SUP]4[/SUP]NEW WORLD ORDER!!!!!
[/INDENT]
The following user groaned Hannah for this awful post:
05-19-2012, 12:03 AM
#4
Nate
Guest
Originally posted by Hanrawr
WARNING:DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY. I mean for crying out loud I call slavery a Laborer's Union. Please don't start a political debacle just because of what you read here.
America is the name of the world's greatest country in the entire freaking world. America is bigger and better than anywhere else on the planet. Covering about 40% of the North American continent (and constituting the sole part of it that is cared about), it is known primarily for its civil integration and greasy food. Only 2% of the American population have a visa and these people are either actual legal Mexicans or deranged scientists looking for Ciudad Perdida in the wrong country.
Origin
America originated when a group of Puritans left their home town of England to the new world, where they shoved a flag in the ground and called it their territory. Paying no heed to the natural wildlife or the Native Indians, the settlers continued and ensured that they would have the perfect feast to celebrate their arrival to the new world.
Naturally, severely angered politicians charged that "no taxation without representation" was a prerequisite to good municipal affairs, a statement that became the battle cry of the entire nation. In response, George Fredrickson imposed new laws in an attempt to curb opposition. Among these were the Stamp Act, which required cashiers to stamp every receipt with a smiley face, and the Townshend Acts, which merely existed for the sake of sounding official.
Certifiably pissed, Americans went on strike for seven long years during which only a few loyal Americans played lobster. Occasionally, battle would break out in a particularly nasty meeting wherein a disgruntled loyalist would speak out against the Revolution. Tales of heated debates at the plummeting financial system have been recorded in paintings and oral traditions dating all the way back to the time when they supposedly occurred.
Eventually, burgeoning George Washington assumed leadership of the country under a new title, President.
Expansion
Washington's first acts were the basics of allowing the greatest thinkers and minds to flow in from Europe and have their seat in the powerhouse that was America. When language barriers became cumbersome, Washington had all of the Irish excommunicated, which led to You must login or register to view this content.'s involvement in political affairs and the budding of the American era. However years were still slow for some time.
Several leaders later, Andrew Jackson decided to take a drastic measure in the development of the proverbial holy grail of countries, one that would go down as one of the biggest blunders in history. In a move that would later inspire the film You must login or register to view this content., he sent out an initiative mandating that he had more power than the Supreme Court and Congress. He is sometimes known as the man with the biggest balls in the world with his straightforward approach and complete lack of care and concern for the safety of others. Jackson "negotiated" with the French to offer reparations for American ships seized during the Napoleonic upheavals. When the money never came through, Jackson insisted that the American government seize French territory in America. Although this never happened, foreign legations were closed and Jackson still never apologized for not receiving the money.
Soon, America had expanded as far west as the Pacific coast, with an increasing density every year. In fact, the population had grown so close together that, in 1862, they were all connected into one gargantuan travel line known as the Transcontinental Railroad.
Internal Strife
However, a growing rift between northern and southern parts was exposed as more and more You must login or register to view this content. took the reins. The heart of the problem lay in the ******s, a crucial laborer's union stretching across the entire nation that threatened to strike if they didn't receive their equal rights. Southern representatives (who felt the ******s did a sub-par-at-best job, when they worked at all) prevented this equality from going to effect but still wanting to claim that one whole vote in the American Congress. Acting president Abraham Lincoln refused to let the south secede from the United States because he had grown too power hungry and couldn't fathom the idea of only governing half of the United States.
Ironically, members of the ******s Union were offered similar privileges from both the north and the south; that is, not many. HR advisers for the Union and the Confederacy (Ulysses S. Grant and Robert E. Lee, respectively), eventually negotiated terms for the reunification of America, which occurred in 1865. The age of America had finally truly begun.
Modern Day
America is so large and powerful that it has been accepted by nearly all as a country.[SUP][citation needed][/SUP] Embracing this image, America has modeled many of her laws after policies she feel would be appropriate to a country of their size and stature. Many more legitimate countries are angered by this sense of entitlement that America has.
From the France to the Israel to the [s]Burma[/s] [s]Myanmar[/s] [s]Burma[/s] that country that's near Vietnam and Laos, leaders refuse to acknowledge America as even semi-legitimate. Nevertheless, America persists in its efforts to, according to their most recent public statement, "maximize self-interest while retaining as much regard for whatever culture may be found in our newly developed areas as is economically possible and/or feasible".
America is not only a lucrative business as well as a country, it is currently the only world power with a seat in the UN (with the exception of Disneyworld). The political legitimacy of America has often been disputed due to the corporate interests involved, and there have, indeed, been several instances where its political future standing has been called into question. Most critics cite the fact that the American UN delegate only ever makes one contribution to the debates[SUP]1[/SUP] as evidence of America's true political standing.
Another subversive issue America faces is the increasing debt. The devotion to tradition has put Americans into tremendous debt, whether it be due to their insistence on using pure crude oil instead of those silly and fashionably tacky wind turbines and solar panels.
Humanitarian efforts
In light of their bloody hands when it comes to foreign policy, a few [s]insane[/s] Americans have attempted to reach out to developing countries with the initiative "Money for Nothing", a maxim that America says "defines the true essence of America". Anyway, UNICEF has donated many of its surplus profits to help the development of several Middle Eastern countries.
Critics point out, however, that the money donated are only from the allotted portion; that is the total donated money is approximately .3% of what America could afford to dole out, and is thus insufficient to actually aid the benefactors in any way. Additionally, they point out that several countries that need the help don't get it because either America isn't aware of them (likely) or another force is at play.[SUP]2[/SUP]
Nevertheless, Americans occasionally participate in goodwill programs offered by private institutes, which actually have been known to affect the situations it purports to help favorably. This gives them a false sense of security, which in turn makes them incredibly pompous and egotistical.
America is the name of the world's greatest country in the entire freaking world. America is bigger and better than anywhere else on the planet. Covering about 40% of the North American continent (and constituting the sole part of it that is cared about), it is known primarily for its civil integration and greasy food. Only 2% of the American population have a visa and these people are either actual legal Mexicans or deranged scientists looking for Ciudad Perdida in the wrong country.
Origin
America originated when a group of Puritans left their home town of England to the new world, where they shoved a flag in the ground and called it their territory. Paying no heed to the natural wildlife or the Native Indians, the settlers continued and ensured that they would have the perfect feast to celebrate their arrival to the new world.
Naturally, severely angered politicians charged that "no taxation without representation" was a prerequisite to good municipal affairs, a statement that became the battle cry of the entire nation. In response, George Fredrickson imposed new laws in an attempt to curb opposition. Among these were the Stamp Act, which required cashiers to stamp every receipt with a smiley face, and the Townshend Acts, which merely existed for the sake of sounding official.
Certifiably pissed, Americans went on strike for seven long years during which only a few loyal Americans played lobster. Occasionally, battle would break out in a particularly nasty meeting wherein a disgruntled loyalist would speak out against the Revolution. Tales of heated debates at the plummeting financial system have been recorded in paintings and oral traditions dating all the way back to the time when they supposedly occurred.
Eventually, burgeoning George Washington assumed leadership of the country under a new title, President.
Expansion
Washington's first acts were the basics of allowing the greatest thinkers and minds to flow in from Europe and have their seat in the powerhouse that was America. When language barriers became cumbersome, Washington had all of the Irish excommunicated, which led to You must login or register to view this content.'s involvement in political affairs and the budding of the American era. However years were still slow for some time.
Several leaders later, Andrew Jackson decided to take a drastic measure in the development of the proverbial holy grail of countries, one that would go down as one of the biggest blunders in history. In a move that would later inspire the film You must login or register to view this content., he sent out an initiative mandating that he had more power than the Supreme Court and Congress. He is sometimes known as the man with the biggest balls in the world with his straightforward approach and complete lack of care and concern for the safety of others. Jackson "negotiated" with the French to offer reparations for American ships seized during the Napoleonic upheavals. When the money never came through, Jackson insisted that the American government seize French territory in America. Although this never happened, foreign legations were closed and Jackson still never apologized for not receiving the money.
Soon, America had expanded as far west as the Pacific coast, with an increasing density every year. In fact, the population had grown so close together that, in 1862, they were all connected into one gargantuan travel line known as the Transcontinental Railroad.
Internal Strife
However, a growing rift between northern and southern parts was exposed as more and more You must login or register to view this content. took the reins. The heart of the problem lay in the ******s, a crucial laborer's union stretching across the entire nation that threatened to strike if they didn't receive their equal rights. Southern representatives (who felt the ******s did a sub-par-at-best job, when they worked at all) prevented this equality from going to effect but still wanting to claim that one whole vote in the American Congress. Acting president Abraham Lincoln refused to let the south secede from the United States because he had grown too power hungry and couldn't fathom the idea of only governing half of the United States.
Ironically, members of the ******s Union were offered similar privileges from both the north and the south; that is, not many. HR advisers for the Union and the Confederacy (Ulysses S. Grant and Robert E. Lee, respectively), eventually negotiated terms for the reunification of America, which occurred in 1865. The age of America had finally truly begun.
Modern Day
America is so large and powerful that it has been accepted by nearly all as a country.[SUP][citation needed][/SUP] Embracing this image, America has modeled many of her laws after policies she feel would be appropriate to a country of their size and stature. Many more legitimate countries are angered by this sense of entitlement that America has.
From the France to the Israel to the [s]Burma[/s] [s]Myanmar[/s] [s]Burma[/s] that country that's near Vietnam and Laos, leaders refuse to acknowledge America as even semi-legitimate. Nevertheless, America persists in its efforts to, according to their most recent public statement, "maximize self-interest while retaining as much regard for whatever culture may be found in our newly developed areas as is economically possible and/or feasible".
America is not only a lucrative business as well as a country, it is currently the only world power with a seat in the UN (with the exception of Disneyworld). The political legitimacy of America has often been disputed due to the corporate interests involved, and there have, indeed, been several instances where its political future standing has been called into question. Most critics cite the fact that the American UN delegate only ever makes one contribution to the debates[SUP]1[/SUP] as evidence of America's true political standing.
Another subversive issue America faces is the increasing debt. The devotion to tradition has put Americans into tremendous debt, whether it be due to their insistence on using pure crude oil instead of those silly and fashionably tacky wind turbines and solar panels.
Humanitarian efforts
In light of their bloody hands when it comes to foreign policy, a few [s]insane[/s] Americans have attempted to reach out to developing countries with the initiative "Money for Nothing", a maxim that America says "defines the true essence of America". Anyway, UNICEF has donated many of its surplus profits to help the development of several Middle Eastern countries.
Critics point out, however, that the money donated are only from the allotted portion; that is the total donated money is approximately .3% of what America could afford to dole out, and is thus insufficient to actually aid the benefactors in any way. Additionally, they point out that several countries that need the help don't get it because either America isn't aware of them (likely) or another force is at play.[SUP]2[/SUP]
Nevertheless, Americans occasionally participate in goodwill programs offered by private institutes, which actually have been known to affect the situations it purports to help favorably. This gives them a false sense of security, which in turn makes them incredibly pompous and egotistical.
[SUP]1[/SUP]"Uhm...which way should I vote if I wanted to maximize profits?"
[SUP]2[/SUP]NEW WORLD ORDER!!!!!
Cm'on hannah, was expecting nudes.... Shame on you
05-19-2012, 12:01 PM
#6
Hannah
Banned
Originally posted by NorCal707
I'm afraid to post anything because I'm scared people from other countries will troll, and what not
So long as you keep it merry, that's why I put a giant warning up at the top. Because the truth of it all, whether you want to accept it or not, is that we're all people. Your country doesn't change who you are. We'll troll you for what you believe in, not what country you're from! :p
05-19-2012, 03:06 PM
#7
NorCal
Banned
Originally posted by Hanrawr
So long as you keep it merry, that's why I put a giant warning up at the top. Because the truth of it all, whether you want to accept it or not, is that we're all people. Your country doesn't change who you are. We'll troll you for what you believe in, not what country you're from! :p
So people won't care if I say Americas the greatest country of all and we never lost a war :carling:? People say we lost Vietnam but congress never declared it a war, it was a "conflict" :fa:
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