(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon...

Demon: Why so glum chum?
Dopey562: What do you think? I'm in hell.
Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here...you a drinkin' man?
Dopey562: Sure, I love to drink. Love the drinks.
Demon: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab, and fresca...we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Dopey562: Gee that sounds great.

Demon: You a smoker?
Dopey562: You better believe it! Love the smoking.
Demon: Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie - you're already dead remember?
Dopey562: Wow...that's...awesome!

Demon: I bet you like to gamble.
Dopey562: Why yes as a matter of fact I do. Love the gambling.
Demon: Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever... If you go Bankrupt...well you're dead anyhow.

Demon: You into drugs?
Dopey562: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...
Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want and if ya overdose - that's right - you're dead - who cares! O.D.!!
Dopey562: Yowza! I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place!!

Demon: You gay?
Dopey562: Uh no.

Demon: Ooooh (grimaces) you're really gonna hate Fridays.




BlinKz, xViRusxX, and +tA Taco were at a convention together and were
sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper.
After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the
elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb
75 flights of stairs to get to their room. BlinKz said to xViRusxX and
+tA Taco, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by
concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25
flights, and xViRusxX can sing songs for 25 flights, and +tA Taco can
tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor BlinKz
stopped telling jokes and xViRusxX began to sing. At the 51st floor
xViRusxX stopped singing and +tA Taco began to tell sad stories. "I will
tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in
the car!"



A couple of strangers were drinking at a cliffside bar overlooking
the ocean. Both of them look a little drunk, when one says to
the other: "Hey, look at the wind whipping up the side of that
cliff. It moves pretty fast. I'll bet I could jump off of the
ledge, catch the wind in my coat, and get lifted right back up to
the bar!"

"No way", says the other guy, "you'd fall to your death."

"Well, I'm going to try it!", says the first, and at that he walks
over, stands on the ledge, and leaps off in a swan dive. Sure
enough, he comes sailing back up in no time, and lands on his feet
right in front of the bar.

"I can't believe it!" says the second guy, "that's impossible" .
So the first drunk does it again: he jumps off the cliff, catches
the wind in his coat, and comes sailing back to the bar.

"Go ahead", he says, "try it, it's great!"

"Well, OK, I'm just drunk enough to give it a go", says the second
fellow. So he climbs the ledge and leaps off the cliff, only to
fall screaming to his death on the rocks below.

The first guy walks back to the bar and sits down to his drink.
The bartender steps over, looks him in the eye, and says to him:
"You know, you can be a real jerk sometimes when you've been
drinking, Superman".

i know i didnt put names in didnt feel like it



Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your ass without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."





A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, BlinKz, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening.

As it turned out, however, the wife wasn't having a good time at the party, so she came home early, alone. Her husband had to stay there, as several of his important clients were there.

As the woman walked into her house, she saw BlinKz sitting by himself in the dining room. She called for him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom. She then closed and locked the door.

She looked at him and smiled. "BlinKz," she said."Take off my dress." He did this carefully."BlinKz," she continued." Take off my stockings and garter." He silently obeyed her. "BlinKz," she then said. "Remove my bra and panties." As he did this, the tension continued to mount.

She looked at him and then said, "BlinKz, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"




hope u enjoyed them


names

Dopey562
+tA Taco
xViRusxX
and myself

Not me?

srry youll be in the next 1 all u gotta do is ask
and remember to thanx if it made u laugh

I was jokin

*sigh*

u wana be in the next?? thats wat im asking

Idc to be honest