(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
Art.

How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!

How do you get them out again?
With tortilla chips!!!

What's more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 100mph?
Stopping it with a shovel.

What's more fun than stapling babies to a wall?
Ripping them off again.

What is pink and red and sits in a corner?
A baby chewing on razor blades.

What goes plop, plop, fizz, fizz?
Two dead babies in an acid bath.

What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in 1 trash can?
Finding 1 dead baby in 7 trash cans.

What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?
A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.

What's small, and red, and full of holes?
A baby on a bed of nails.

How do you get a baby out of a tree?
You give a Mexican a stick and tell him it's a piñata!

What's the difference between a baby and a bagel?
You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the baby in the oven.

How do you prevent a baby from exploding in the microwave?
Poke holes in it with a coat hanger.

What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A baby in a microwave.

What's grosser than a garbage can of dead babies?
The one alive at the bottom trying to eat its way out.

What's harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree?
Nailing it to a dead puppy.

How do you get a baby to run faster?
Chase it with the lawn mower.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.

What's orange and lies at the bottom of a swimming pool?
A baby with popped floaties.

Thanks some are from online, some I made up, and some friends made up. I have lots more of this kinda stuff. Stupid but funny stuff. I'll post some more later.