(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Hello NGU, I have a very touching story about my sexual orientation that I wanted to share.

If you have similar stories feel free to let us know.


I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

im wet

You and SQUID post such random shit, I swear.

I think i just came.. Yup, sure did.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Hey phaggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all phaggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you sex muncher? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Hugging Department, and I’ve been involved in numerous hugging raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed hugs. I am trained in gorilla hugs and I’m the top hugger in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another hugging target. I will hug you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been hugged before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of huggers across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the hugs, friend. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your frown. You’re fucking hugged, buddy. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can hug you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bear arms. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed hugging, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Huggine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to hug your little sexy ass off the face of the continent, you little sweetheart. If only you could have known what unholy hugging your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you could have held your fucking arms together. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you sexy beast. I will shit hugs all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking hugged, bud.

Hey buddy,

I know this comment karma thing is tough but do you really need to use such inappropriate language? I'm sorry I can't support this. You must be new. That's okay, I like breaking in the newbies. You see friend here at NextGenUpdate.com we have a tool called rep. This tool has a counterpart which we will get to in a moment.The + rep is a way of contributing to our community and showing that you agree with the comment or submission that was made.

Now to the counterpart, the dreaded negative rep. It has a sort of ying-yang relationship with the positive rep if you will. The neg rep tool is used from everything to saying "I don't agree with your comment." to "Go fuck yourself you piece of shit your opinion is invalid until you have done the independent research your account should be suspended by the mods." (The latter would apply in this situation).

So now that you understand a little bit more about the upballot/downballot system, you will be able to have more consistent voting patterns and this will allow a better representation on what really 'bacons the narwhal' (lol if you're curious about the origin of this phrase pm me)in our community.

Oh boy I haven't read this one on here before.

holy shit