(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); As my first real post on this site, why not post something personally about myself like loosing my virginity, the most embarrassing day of my life.

- So boom, it was in the 9th grade. I was the cool guy, not too cool, but I stole candy and sold it in class. I was called the snack plug. True story. So It was the middle of the year and it was when this new girl came into my class. She was so hot. She was a light skin girl, you know not to dark not to white with the perfect size titties and her ass was just omg. So it hit lunch time and I seen her sitting all by herself looking all sexy and what not. So I sat down next to her and introduced myself. She had a strong Nigerian accent. It kinda sounded like Bonnie from family guy. But she introduced herself back. Now, remind you she was from Africa so her name was some shit I could not pronounce so I gave her a nickname and she liked it. Weeks pass and now her and I are texting. We get to know each other and stuff. Now I know, y'all know how conversations be at around 2-4 AM. They get real. I'm telling her shit like "I still jump when the toaster pop's up" Now, I shit you not all of a sudden it's like 3 AM and she goes, "I want my pussy ate because i'm a virgin and want to experience it." So I was like in shock and little do she know, im a virgin too. But I was like "Alright, we can do it in the morning when your mother leaves." I was so hyped, I never went to bed so excited. I was up at 7 AM getting dressed fast as hell. So we meet up at the school and walk to her house together. Its cold as hell out but I was so nervous I started sweating missiles. We almost at her house and she looks over at me and says, "Are you okay?" I said "Yeah im fine" So we finally get to her house and she goes and gets changed. I go in her kitchen and get food. So she comes out of the room and says, "Lets go" I went from fully clothed to naked in seconds. So we sitting on the couch and remember we both virgins so we dont know anything. It took me 6 minutes to get the condom on I swear it was rocket science. I tried to fit my whole balls in too. After I got it on we took a whole 15 minutes tryna find her hole. We both couldn't find it. After I "Found it" , It was on. Within 20 minutes of fast strokes and me getting it on, I was trying to figure out why she was quite. I was like eh whatever. I got 3 more strokes in and busted a nut. I got up and flexed and felt like the man. Im like "Damn you was tight as shit!" and she starts to laugh.. So I asked what was so funny... I then found out I was fucking the couch the whole time... I put my clothes on and left. I was embarrassed as shit that I lost my virginity to a leather couch...

Can't be getting that couch pregnant

Then you never even lost your virginity...you virgin.

That's pretty messed up, son. What's your new nickname? Surely nobody is still calling you The Snack Plug after finding out you fucked a couch.

He got this off a facebook post.. It was funny but now he's just trying to take the story and put it up here.. Claiming that it's his.. Oh no.

Rip.

Every day my erections gets harder, my sessions get longer, and my loads get larger. I feel myself becoming more and more attached to the idea of sex to the point where I feel like if I don't get intimate soon, I will explode. My hands get red from pulling and my arms get tired of moving up and down. My right arm already has more muscle mass than my left and it is very noticeable. Sometimes I have to take breaks between yanking it to cool off because I exert myself so much. My family is worried because I hardly come out of my room anymore. I used to have one session a day, then it became two, then three, now I'm bordering on four a day. I'm losing sleep because of it. I'm averaging 5-6 hours of sleep a night. My grades and social life are suffering. Whenever I speak to girls, I imagine scenarios and fantasies in my head. It doesn't even need to be a hot girl. Any female I lay eyes upon, I think of taking back to my house. My fantasies and fetishes are expanding. One day it's lingerie, the next it's incest. I don't know if my fetishes are wrong or right, and at this point I don't care. I just need to be loved.