I like what you were going for, but there are some issues
If your going to make it B&W, you should make the whole thing B&W (for the most part)
C4D's are all following a different style (Try finding C4D's that have similar textures and shapes)
The random logo thing in the top right is definitely out of place. If you want your own signature logo in your sigs, make sure it blends in

.
Lighting isn't terrible, but could be improved.
Lacking depth.
Don't tell me not to be harsh :p.
This is probably your best so far :y:. Keep practicing and look at those wonderful little tutorials.