(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); 01 - Take time out to watch a sunset Sick of the daily grind? Take time out to reflect. At about 8pm, go to a place where you can see the Algonquin skyline and soak in the views. A good place to go is the East Borough Bridge, just before the toll booths on the way to Dukes.


02 - Get the cops on your side
Sometimes you'll jack a car but forget to pull away quickly enough. Suddenly, the door's pulled open again and this time it's you dragged from the vehicle. If that wasn't embarrassing enough, they'll start a fight.

You can punch back, but it's easier to just pull out your gun. No need to fire, they'll soon realise it's not worth the risk and back down, before turning and running away.
But their day's about to get worse. Ironically, the police (being slow and dim-witted for a change) arrive late on the scene, and assume you're the victim. So they run off after the 'criminal', leaving you to take the car in peace.



03 - Call the paramedics
If you're low on health and far from the nearest hot dog stand, you can still get the help you need. Just call for an ambulance. Yup, 911 gives you access to all three emergency services, Police, Ambulance and Fire. When Niko's clothes are soaked with blood, it's time to get out of the way of the traffic and ring for help.

How much? Getting healed fully will cost you in the region of $800, so this really is best saved for an emergency. Still, while we would never condone prank calling the emergency services in real-life, if you're feeling mean you can nip into the ambulance while they're looking for the 'victim' and claim back half your health for free - suckers.



04 - Find the Sultan RS
At the very northern tip of Alderney, near the beach on the East there's an old mansion. You'll remember it from Phil Bell's first mission, where you steal the heroin from the Triads. Anyway, go here and, parked behind the mansion, is a Sultan RS. This is GTA's version of a Mitsubushi Lancer and is one of the game's fastest cars. Each time it spawns it will have a different paint job entirely.



05 - Get on random folk's nerves
If you hover around for too long near certain characters, they'll get edgy and attack you - but only after a few verbal warnings. For example, loiter near the projects in Bohan, some of the gangstas there will take offence to your presence. "Looks like white boy here is lost," they'll comment, before getting violent.



06-07 See a comedy show
Visit Split Sides in Algonquin to see stand-up comedy acts. Girls seem to like this, so take them there on dates. Each comedian has two or three routines that play one by one with each sequential visit to the club.

Ricky Gervais - Portly comedian of Office and Extras fame. His jokes are from his recent stand-up show Fame and, while they're mildly amusing, the audience's over-the-top laughing is a little excessive. It's great that he's in there though.

Katt Williams - This popular American comedian is way funnier than Gervais, especially his observation about Liberty City - "Where are all the cats and dogs?" - and his routine about rapper Rick Ross' song Hustlin'.



08 - Turn your engine off
If you hold Triangle while getting out of a car, Niko will turn the engine off. Tap it and he'll leave it running with the radio turned on. Pointless? Absolutely, but a nice touch. You can even leave the doors open if you press the run button as soon as you exit the car.





09 - Use Zit to spot the song
One of the best things about the in-game advertising is that it works when you try it. The websites advertised online are accessible through the computers, and the billboard phone numbers work too. Like this advert for Zit - give the number a call (948-555-0100) and Lazlow will text you the name of the song you're listening to on the radio.



10 - Mystery missions
Every so often, a mysterious 'person' icon will appear on your map. The character you meet varies, but they'll usually have a mission for you - or even free money. Some characters only appear depending on your live/die decisions in missions. One girl is being beaten by her brutish boyfriend and Niko can offer to 'help' in the usual way. Another excellent mystery mission-giver is Jeff, a paranoid maniac who's convinced his wife is cheating on him. Worth completing if only to see how it all ends. Funny, eh?



11 - Change your phone's theme
As well as ringtones, there are several themes to kit out your phone, and more unlock as you progress through the game. We quite like the Ecola one. It's a play on E-Coli, obviously. The only problem with the themes is that the text can be hard to read. Head to any tw@ internet cafe to buy a phone theme.



12 - Have upside-down sex
Hookers are nothing new in GTA, but their actions are much more graphic, with three price levels - although you technically still don't see anything naughty. But we've found a bug that's quite funny.

If you invite a prostitute into your car and flip your vehicle by crashing, you can still ask them for their services while you're upside down. We know it's fun to 'experiment', but surely this can't be possible? Anyone seen Crash?



13 - Get a new ringtone
After a while, you'll need an upgraded cell phone to complete one of the missions. But you'll soon forget about what you're supposed to be doing, as it opens up a whole world of possibilities. Yep, just as in real life, you can spend all your money on impractical but obviously amazing ringtones and wallpapers for your handset. Just log onto You must login or register to view this content. on the in-game internet and get your wallet.



14 - Set a fire, put it out
Hold the fire button while inside a fire truck and you can use the hose. Not only can it knock over people and cars, but blow something up and you can douse the flames. Incredible.





15 - Outrun the cops on flats
Why not try outrunning the cops on a motorbike with no tyres? Just shoot up your hog, hop on and see how far you can go without braking. Our record? About five seconds. It's easier in a car, to be honest.





16-17 See a cabaret show
The Incredible Kleinman - A sort of circus-style magician. He's rubbish though, and manages to throw a knife into his assistant's shoulder. But she gets him too with a 'handy' guillotine.

Ms Bluesy St John - Doesn't seem to be very funny or particularly entertaining. You'll be somewhat transfixed by those legs, though.

Dusty Cowpoke - Puts on a mime show of a Wild West shootout. We don't know what else to say - and nor do the crowd, who aren't too impressed.

Catch - A juggler. He starts off with normal juggling batons before moving onto barbecue implements. He drops one at the end and pretends that he didn't. Probably the worst act in the game.



18 - Find the go-kart track
A go-kart track? Oh, yes. Sadly there aren't any karts left lying around to race on it, but that doesn't mean you can't spawn a supercar and test it out, like we did above.

Choose the in-car view and it's almost low enough to be convincing. It's a bit too fast for the track, though, and the bumps might make you motion-sick.
Still, it looks like Niko's having a good time. Isn't there some avenging you should be doing, Niko? Oh, and change to the cinematic camera for a top-down view, which reminds us of a Scalextric track.

32 - Find the flying rats Instead of hidden packages, Liberty City's infested with 200 diseased pigeons, or 'flying rats' as they're affectionately referred to here. They look totally harmless and even coo like real pigeons. Fortunately, they never fly away, no matter how close you get. You'll need a gun though. Puff goes the pigeon. No, it's not a clever magic trick - one shot and you get this cool avian explosion. Don't worry, you'll see it another 199 times.


33 - Crush people with the Jetmax
There's more fun to be had with the cheats than just pretending you're in The Matrix, calling up a vehicle and driving away. Such as repeatedly calling up a boat in the middle of a busy street.

Now you see him. Now you see him. Now you... oh, wait a minute, it's a her. And she's been felled not by a fellow motorist, but by... yep, another boat.




34 - Take a leap of faith
First you need to spawn a police helicopter. There's no point finding a legit one as you'll need a cheat once you get to the top anyway.
Now it's just a case of dusting yourself off, calling up a bike and getting on. At the top of a high rise building. Maniac.

Suddenly the vertigo kicks in and you feel yourself being pulled towards the edge. Just don't look down - at least you've got your helmet on.

35 - Go 'skyboating'
Take a helicopter up to the top of a skyscraper. Now climb onto the edge and face forwards, then call up a boat with cheat WET-555-0100
It'll take a few attempts, but you should be able to make it sit right on the edge. When in the boat, call up another boat with the cheat. It should appear above and land on the front of your boat. After a few tries, the impact should knock you off. That's skyboating, baby.



36 - Pop your tires
If you hold both accelerate and brake in any car, you'll do a burnout. Your wheels will spin and you'll generate a lot of smoke. Neat enough. But keep doing it for a couple of little surprises...

Bang! Your left tyre explodes, shortly followed by the right. You've blown the tyres through too much wear and friction. But that's not all...
Your rims now clatter over the tarmac, sparking as you fight for grip. But the coolest thing is the way the rims leave their own perfectly rendered tracks. Completely awesome.



37 - Fly through the windscreen
You've probably noticed that you're a lot more vulnerable in vehicles than in previous GTAs. Not only can you be shot in the head and chest by anyone outside the car, but you can also be ejected through the front window in the event of a crash. Thanks to our grabbing equipment, we've pinpointed the exact moment (above) Niko's head goes through the glass, followed by a commendable impression of Superman.



38 - Mini-golf secrets
We'd have loved to have seen the miniature golf course appear as a playable extra in the game. Compared to San Andreas there's very little in the way of hidden minigames to find. But take a look...

There's the giant Chicken from San Andreas. And... the windmill from the countryside. But it's not just San Andreas getting the nods...
GTAIII's lighthouse is there.And from Vice City, the Ocean View hotel. Bless.



39-44 - Surf the Web
You must login or register to view this content. - A site where you can sell crap, hunt for crap jobs or just talk crap. It's not very interactive, but there's plenty of colourful insight from the inhabitants of Liberty City. We particularly like the 'free box of healthy crap' which is a post from someone who bought loads of health food, then hated it. He says he wouldn't wish it on anybody. Yep, great way to sell it.

You must login or register to view this content. - How far is too far? Bulimialovers.com is a site dedicated to looking like a skeleton. As the website says, there's nothing wrong with eating huge meals - just make sure it comes out again afterwards. It's a slick, sick parody of modern society, but it's a bit tough to, erm, stomach.

You must login or register to view this content. - It's a car sales website, of course, but full of cringeworthy double-entendres about self-loving. All the cars have the 'highest quality rim jobs, lube jobs and waxes'...

[url]www.shitster.com[/url] - Well, it's Napster isn't it? We mean, before it went all above board. Peer-to-peer file sharing isn't illegal because "it's OK to give away something you love".

You must login or register to view this content. - It's a site about how to explain the 'facts of life' to children. "How do you explain why mommy is getting fatter than usual? We already know why daddy is an obese depressed mess..." Oh, and apparently all poor people are born out of wedlock and condoms will kill you.

You must login or register to view this content. - This site lists the game's secrets, including maps to all of the pigeons and all the stunt jumps. But you still have to search for them once you know the approximate area.



45 - Suicide long jump
All you need for this is a rocket launcher (use the weapons cheat if you must), and somewhere to measure your death distance. Compete against your friends - all you need to do is fire at the ground in front of you. Now see how far Niko flies through the air. The most violent, yet graceful, death we've ever seen.



46-48 Comedy advertisements
Pisswasser - you really would be on the piss if you ordered this at the pub. Rockstar actually sent us some real bottles of this stuff. Some people declined to drink their bottle. Can't think why. After all, as it says underneath, "You're in, for a good time." See what they did there?

Mummification - If the print's too small to read here, it's probably for the best. It's wrong in so, so many ways. You can find it yourself in the underpass where the line of the middle bridge and the right-hand bridge would cross in Broker.

AlcoPatch - We love this idea: the AlcoPatch. It's like a nicotine patch, but it drip-feeds alcohol into your system to help you quit drinking. Hmmm... there's something not quite right there. It's a bit like those smokeable nicotine sticks, isn't it? Hic.



49 - Car horn kill
As with San Andreas, you can kill people through the windscreen of their cars with a single well-aimed bullet. Of course the sniper rifle is best for this, but anything will work. Just line up your crosshairs and squeeze the trigger and feel your wanted level getting bigger. Bang, and it's all gone messy. What's that noise? The fallen driver slumped over the horn. Great detail.



50 - Get stung by the FIB
There's one more website worth noting, if only to warn you not to visit it - You must login or register to view this content.. 'Little Lacy Surprise' is a line of lingerie for children advertised in the past on GTA radio stations.

Fortunately, there's nothing sinister on the site, just a note from the police department that your IP address has been logged and that you'll be contacted shortly. What? Sure enough, the cops will be waiting for you outside when you log off, and seeking you out with extreme prejudice. Time to run.

I took all of these from the playstation 3 cheaters black book magazine that i have. Some of them are pretty pointless.

this is nice bookmarked for me as ill use it as a referece

EDIT: i accually read it and it really is pointless