Post: Duke Nukem Forever s***s balls of steel!
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06-12-2011, 01:38 AM
#1
iKeyLoggedU
Guest
Review:
Duke Nukem Forever, the game that was meant to come out 12 years ago, but was cancelled.
We were left with it being a fun reference, "Forever, because it took them forever to make, haha!"
A game that wasn't made... and now that I've seen it, it really shouldn't have been made.
This is BEYOND HORRIBLE. There are NO WORDS to describe the atrocity of the horribleness of this game.
The game lacks anything that would truly provide "fun" or "entertainment".
The creators thought "oh hey, we'll add an interactive environment so you can play with anything and feel like you're actually a part of this world!"
And throughout that mindstorming, they decided they'll grab a bunch of stuff together people liked in other games, like riding a car, and essentially copying the game mechanics of Mass Effect 2, Call of Duty, and most essentially Half-Life.
Now, what they have created is merely an abomination.
In fact, this is the video game equivalent of Twilight. People play it to become one with Duke, who's being told he's awesome, handsome, and the savior and hero of the whole world. You give out autographs and have your own mansion of sluts, and work for the army, and directly for the President.
....wait, I thought this was a Duke Nukem game! So when do I actually start SHOOTING STUFF? Instead of being addressed by sluts, generals, presidents, soldiers, and random strippers to do their f---ing chore?
Guess what. You don't shoot ANYTHING for 45 minutes. NOTHING. You don't have a GUN. You can't punch, kick, or basically do any of that stuff. In fact, there are no monsters even. No aliens. You just RUN AROUND your fricking mansion and TALK to people who talk ENDLESSLY and don't EVER have a chance to skip!
We got ourselves a good new-type shooter, RPG elements and... linearity. Hell, it's so linear that if you have to interact with something, it's high-lighted so you don't even have to think for a moment. There are no secrets, and...
Did I mention the two weapon limitation? Oh, I didn't. Not yet, anyways. You can hold only TWO weapons, and have an atrociously mortifying ammo system that's just in the way, and is essentially pointless considering whenever you have to actually fight something, they provide you with infinite. But when you're just walking around stomping on rats (yeah that's right, instead of killing aliens of course) you don't get any ammo. The only worthwhile gun in the game is the Shotgun though, and you get an RPG at the end which does not provide the explosion and feel of the old one anyways. You get lasers that suck, the AT laser is just weak and crap and the AT Captain Laser has a 3 second charge up time which you have to do over and over again if you get hit by an enemy. Wow.
The list of negatives is endless, yet there's basically almost nothing positive to say about this game. Nothing. We played for 4 hours hoping we'd get something out of it... But no.
In fact, I haven't mentioned how you can one-shot monsters with head shots, BUT if you are two stair cases below, then you aim for the head, and you MISS. You can't shoot across the fricking STAIRS. They're in the way or what? In a new sector? An alternate universe?? Well I'm not sure, but you certainly cannot shoot anything if you're a level below, despite there being nothing blocking the way.
The AI is crap, the linearity is atrocious and the whole gameplay is bland, the music is unrecognizable and unmemorable, the weapons suck, it's a whole giant load of crap with RPG elements and endless talking. RPG meaning annoying yet easily solvable puzzles, like putting 3 barrels in a van to make it heavy enough so you can jump over. Great... well wasn't that obvious? Of course it was. It cannot get any more uncreative than it is, really.
So whenever you see a positive review of this game, you should know: they are either the creators themselves, or someone who was paid to say it's playable, or someone on an acid trip or shrooms or weed or any sort of mind altering drugs. Anyone in the right mind will most possibly be as disappointed as I was.
Verdict:
Do not even CONSIDER buying this game. Believe it never existed - Duke Nukem Forever never came out.
It's such a shame... It could have been such a nice game - but so many interesting games get cancelled nowadays, right?
note this is not mine i thought it would be info before you guys buy this
The following 4 users say thank you to iKeyLoggedU for this useful post:
06-13-2011, 02:31 PM
#11
Agentcell
Can’t trickshot me!
This is my honest review of Duke Nukem Forever since I actually played Duke Nukem 64.
I have Duke Nukem Forever and I really wanted this game to succeed and I hoped the sales go really high for a sequel. But I'll be honest the game is bad. I've played Duke Nukem 64 and it was one of the best N64 FPS games right beside Goldeneye. It was awesome because of its' satirical raw gun blazing co-op action. But DNF lacks a lot of what made Duke Nukem amazing.
1. The game has really outdated graphics and animations. After 12 years, the game should've been polished.
2. The game has no co-op (that's correct) NO CO-OP!! They only have MP competitive. Co-op is what made Duke Nukem famous and without it this game is basically incomplete.
3. You can't wield dual weapons and you have a 2 weapon limit carry instead of 4 or 10 weapons (I believe) from the previous duke nukem. And where is my SMG?
4. The game is very linear compared to the first duke nukem. There are no secret paths and alternate routes to go to. WTF?
5. The monsters don't look that interesting and the level design seem very bland. So far the only level that looked good was the Hive level.
6. WHERE IS THE CHEAT MENU???? When I beat the game, I would like to unlock all weapons, fly with my jetpack with infinite ammo and go apeshit on the enemies.
7. My personal preference. Even though the previous duke nukem game didn't have it, I wish this game had the option of using iron sights since a lot of FPS games use iron sights. And since Gearbox was making this game, I was hoping for the inclusion of iron sights at least as an optional choice. In addition, there should've been a lot more guns and new ones with customization. I mean come on you're duke nukem. You should have access to every weapon on earth because you saved the world.
Overall the game is bad. The only good thing about the game is that it feels like duke nukem with its' satirical setting and machismo story and at least it has competitive MP mode. But if you want to hail to the king, you should go to Duke Nukem 64 or 3D.
I have Duke Nukem Forever and I really wanted this game to succeed and I hoped the sales go really high for a sequel. But I'll be honest the game is bad. I've played Duke Nukem 64 and it was one of the best N64 FPS games right beside Goldeneye. It was awesome because of its' satirical raw gun blazing co-op action. But DNF lacks a lot of what made Duke Nukem amazing.
1. The game has really outdated graphics and animations. After 12 years, the game should've been polished.
2. The game has no co-op (that's correct) NO CO-OP!! They only have MP competitive. Co-op is what made Duke Nukem famous and without it this game is basically incomplete.
3. You can't wield dual weapons and you have a 2 weapon limit carry instead of 4 or 10 weapons (I believe) from the previous duke nukem. And where is my SMG?
4. The game is very linear compared to the first duke nukem. There are no secret paths and alternate routes to go to. WTF?
5. The monsters don't look that interesting and the level design seem very bland. So far the only level that looked good was the Hive level.
6. WHERE IS THE CHEAT MENU???? When I beat the game, I would like to unlock all weapons, fly with my jetpack with infinite ammo and go apeshit on the enemies.
7. My personal preference. Even though the previous duke nukem game didn't have it, I wish this game had the option of using iron sights since a lot of FPS games use iron sights. And since Gearbox was making this game, I was hoping for the inclusion of iron sights at least as an optional choice. In addition, there should've been a lot more guns and new ones with customization. I mean come on you're duke nukem. You should have access to every weapon on earth because you saved the world.
Overall the game is bad. The only good thing about the game is that it feels like duke nukem with its' satirical setting and machismo story and at least it has competitive MP mode. But if you want to hail to the king, you should go to Duke Nukem 64 or 3D.
06-13-2011, 03:12 PM
#12
ARVINLOCOx
Who’s Jim Erased?
yeah know what you mean .....
i felt like i was laying PS1 Game
i felt like i was laying PS1 Game
06-15-2011, 12:00 AM
#13
TheBigRod
uh-may-zuh-zing
Originally posted by iKeyLoggedU
I originally wrote this for another site, and as I am not allowed to post referral links, I won't. The purpose of this review is to show that if you don't want to waste 50$ on a crappy game, you should not buy Duke Nukem Forever. here's why.
Review:
Duke Nukem Forever, the game that was meant to come out 12 years ago, but was cancelled.
We were left with it being a fun reference, "Forever, because it took them forever to make, haha!"
A game that wasn't made... and now that I've seen it, it really shouldn't have been made.
This is BEYOND HORRIBLE. There are NO WORDS to describe the atrocity of the horribleness of this game.
The game lacks anything that would truly provide "fun" or "entertainment".
The creators thought "oh hey, we'll add an interactive environment so you can play with anything and feel like you're actually a part of this world!"
And throughout that mindstorming, they decided they'll grab a bunch of stuff together people liked in other games, like riding a car, and essentially copying the game mechanics of Mass Effect 2, Call of Duty, and most essentially Half-Life.
Now, what they have created is merely an abomination.
In fact, this is the video game equivalent of Twilight. People play it to become one with Duke, who's being told he's awesome, handsome, and the savior and hero of the whole world. You give out autographs and have your own mansion of sluts, and work for the army, and directly for the President.
....wait, I thought this was a Duke Nukem game! So when do I actually start SHOOTING STUFF? Instead of being addressed by sluts, generals, presidents, soldiers, and random strippers to do their f---ing chore?
Guess what. You don't shoot ANYTHING for 45 minutes. NOTHING. You don't have a GUN. You can't punch, kick, or basically do any of that stuff. In fact, there are no monsters even. No aliens. You just RUN AROUND your fricking mansion and TALK to people who talk ENDLESSLY and don't EVER have a chance to skip!
We got ourselves a good new-type shooter, RPG elements and... linearity. Hell, it's so linear that if you have to interact with something, it's high-lighted so you don't even have to think for a moment. There are no secrets, and...
Did I mention the two weapon limitation? Oh, I didn't. Not yet, anyways. You can hold only TWO weapons, and have an atrociously mortifying ammo system that's just in the way, and is essentially pointless considering whenever you have to actually fight something, they provide you with infinite. But when you're just walking around stomping on rats (yeah that's right, instead of killing aliens of course) you don't get any ammo. The only worthwhile gun in the game is the Shotgun though, and you get an RPG at the end which does not provide the explosion and feel of the old one anyways. You get lasers that suck, the AT laser is just weak and crap and the AT Captain Laser has a 3 second charge up time which you have to do over and over again if you get hit by an enemy. Wow.
The list of negatives is endless, yet there's basically almost nothing positive to say about this game. Nothing. We played for 4 hours hoping we'd get something out of it... But no.
In fact, I haven't mentioned how you can one-shot monsters with head shots, BUT if you are two stair cases below, then you aim for the head, and you MISS. You can't shoot across the fricking STAIRS. They're in the way or what? In a new sector? An alternate universe?? Well I'm not sure, but you certainly cannot shoot anything if you're a level below, despite there being nothing blocking the way.
The AI is crap, the linearity is atrocious and the whole gameplay is bland, the music is unrecognizable and unmemorable, the weapons suck, it's a whole giant load of crap with RPG elements and endless talking. RPG meaning annoying yet easily solvable puzzles, like putting 3 barrels in a van to make it heavy enough so you can jump over. Great... well wasn't that obvious? Of course it was. It cannot get any more uncreative than it is, really.
So whenever you see a positive review of this game, you should know: they are either the creators themselves, or someone who was paid to say it's playable, or someone on an acid trip or shrooms or weed or any sort of mind altering drugs. Anyone in the right mind will most possibly be as disappointed as I was.
Verdict:
Do not even CONSIDER buying this game. Believe it never existed - Duke Nukem Forever never came out.
It's such a shame... It could have been such a nice game - but so many interesting games get cancelled nowadays, right?
note this is not mine i thought it would be info before you guys buy this
Review:
Duke Nukem Forever, the game that was meant to come out 12 years ago, but was cancelled.
We were left with it being a fun reference, "Forever, because it took them forever to make, haha!"
A game that wasn't made... and now that I've seen it, it really shouldn't have been made.
This is BEYOND HORRIBLE. There are NO WORDS to describe the atrocity of the horribleness of this game.
The game lacks anything that would truly provide "fun" or "entertainment".
The creators thought "oh hey, we'll add an interactive environment so you can play with anything and feel like you're actually a part of this world!"
And throughout that mindstorming, they decided they'll grab a bunch of stuff together people liked in other games, like riding a car, and essentially copying the game mechanics of Mass Effect 2, Call of Duty, and most essentially Half-Life.
Now, what they have created is merely an abomination.
In fact, this is the video game equivalent of Twilight. People play it to become one with Duke, who's being told he's awesome, handsome, and the savior and hero of the whole world. You give out autographs and have your own mansion of sluts, and work for the army, and directly for the President.
....wait, I thought this was a Duke Nukem game! So when do I actually start SHOOTING STUFF? Instead of being addressed by sluts, generals, presidents, soldiers, and random strippers to do their f---ing chore?
Guess what. You don't shoot ANYTHING for 45 minutes. NOTHING. You don't have a GUN. You can't punch, kick, or basically do any of that stuff. In fact, there are no monsters even. No aliens. You just RUN AROUND your fricking mansion and TALK to people who talk ENDLESSLY and don't EVER have a chance to skip!
We got ourselves a good new-type shooter, RPG elements and... linearity. Hell, it's so linear that if you have to interact with something, it's high-lighted so you don't even have to think for a moment. There are no secrets, and...
Did I mention the two weapon limitation? Oh, I didn't. Not yet, anyways. You can hold only TWO weapons, and have an atrociously mortifying ammo system that's just in the way, and is essentially pointless considering whenever you have to actually fight something, they provide you with infinite. But when you're just walking around stomping on rats (yeah that's right, instead of killing aliens of course) you don't get any ammo. The only worthwhile gun in the game is the Shotgun though, and you get an RPG at the end which does not provide the explosion and feel of the old one anyways. You get lasers that suck, the AT laser is just weak and crap and the AT Captain Laser has a 3 second charge up time which you have to do over and over again if you get hit by an enemy. Wow.
The list of negatives is endless, yet there's basically almost nothing positive to say about this game. Nothing. We played for 4 hours hoping we'd get something out of it... But no.
In fact, I haven't mentioned how you can one-shot monsters with head shots, BUT if you are two stair cases below, then you aim for the head, and you MISS. You can't shoot across the fricking STAIRS. They're in the way or what? In a new sector? An alternate universe?? Well I'm not sure, but you certainly cannot shoot anything if you're a level below, despite there being nothing blocking the way.
The AI is crap, the linearity is atrocious and the whole gameplay is bland, the music is unrecognizable and unmemorable, the weapons suck, it's a whole giant load of crap with RPG elements and endless talking. RPG meaning annoying yet easily solvable puzzles, like putting 3 barrels in a van to make it heavy enough so you can jump over. Great... well wasn't that obvious? Of course it was. It cannot get any more uncreative than it is, really.
So whenever you see a positive review of this game, you should know: they are either the creators themselves, or someone who was paid to say it's playable, or someone on an acid trip or shrooms or weed or any sort of mind altering drugs. Anyone in the right mind will most possibly be as disappointed as I was.
Verdict:
Do not even CONSIDER buying this game. Believe it never existed - Duke Nukem Forever never came out.
It's such a shame... It could have been such a nice game - but so many interesting games get cancelled nowadays, right?
note this is not mine i thought it would be info before you guys buy this
You didn't write this? I saw this on N4G/GNHQ a few weeks ago.
06-15-2011, 02:45 AM
#14
iKeyLoggedU
Guest
Originally posted by microcore
you didn't write this? I saw this on n4g/gnhq a few weeks ago.
read the bottom herp a derp!!!
this game ruined Duke Nukem 
06-15-2011, 04:49 PM
#17
shwig2
Gym leader
Originally posted by iKeyLoggedU
I originally wrote this for another site, and as I am not allowed to post referral links, I won't. The purpose of this review is to show that if you don't want to waste 50$ on a crappy game, you should not buy Duke Nukem Forever. here's why.
Review:
Duke Nukem Forever, the game that was meant to come out 12 years ago, but was cancelled.
We were left with it being a fun reference, "Forever, because it took them forever to make, haha!"
A game that wasn't made... and now that I've seen it, it really shouldn't have been made.
This is BEYOND HORRIBLE. There are NO WORDS to describe the atrocity of the horribleness of this game.
The game lacks anything that would truly provide "fun" or "entertainment".
The creators thought "oh hey, we'll add an interactive environment so you can play with anything and feel like you're actually a part of this world!"
And throughout that mindstorming, they decided they'll grab a bunch of stuff together people liked in other games, like riding a car, and essentially copying the game mechanics of Mass Effect 2, Call of Duty, and most essentially Half-Life.
Now, what they have created is merely an abomination.
In fact, this is the video game equivalent of Twilight. People play it to become one with Duke, who's being told he's awesome, handsome, and the savior and hero of the whole world. You give out autographs and have your own mansion of sluts, and work for the army, and directly for the President.
....wait, I thought this was a Duke Nukem game! So when do I actually start SHOOTING STUFF? Instead of being addressed by sluts, generals, presidents, soldiers, and random strippers to do their f---ing chore?
Guess what. You don't shoot ANYTHING for 45 minutes. NOTHING. You don't have a GUN. You can't punch, kick, or basically do any of that stuff. In fact, there are no monsters even. No aliens. You just RUN AROUND your fricking mansion and TALK to people who talk ENDLESSLY and don't EVER have a chance to skip!
We got ourselves a good new-type shooter, RPG elements and... linearity. Hell, it's so linear that if you have to interact with something, it's high-lighted so you don't even have to think for a moment. There are no secrets, and...
Did I mention the two weapon limitation? Oh, I didn't. Not yet, anyways. You can hold only TWO weapons, and have an atrociously mortifying ammo system that's just in the way, and is essentially pointless considering whenever you have to actually fight something, they provide you with infinite. But when you're just walking around stomping on rats (yeah that's right, instead of killing aliens of course) you don't get any ammo. The only worthwhile gun in the game is the Shotgun though, and you get an RPG at the end which does not provide the explosion and feel of the old one anyways. You get lasers that suck, the AT laser is just weak and crap and the AT Captain Laser has a 3 second charge up time which you have to do over and over again if you get hit by an enemy. Wow.
The list of negatives is endless, yet there's basically almost nothing positive to say about this game. Nothing. We played for 4 hours hoping we'd get something out of it... But no.
In fact, I haven't mentioned how you can one-shot monsters with head shots, BUT if you are two stair cases below, then you aim for the head, and you MISS. You can't shoot across the fricking STAIRS. They're in the way or what? In a new sector? An alternate universe?? Well I'm not sure, but you certainly cannot shoot anything if you're a level below, despite there being nothing blocking the way.
The AI is crap, the linearity is atrocious and the whole gameplay is bland, the music is unrecognizable and unmemorable, the weapons suck, it's a whole giant load of crap with RPG elements and endless talking. RPG meaning annoying yet easily solvable puzzles, like putting 3 barrels in a van to make it heavy enough so you can jump over. Great... well wasn't that obvious? Of course it was. It cannot get any more uncreative than it is, really.
So whenever you see a positive review of this game, you should know: they are either the creators themselves, or someone who was paid to say it's playable, or someone on an acid trip or shrooms or weed or any sort of mind altering drugs. Anyone in the right mind will most possibly be as disappointed as I was.
Verdict:
Do not even CONSIDER buying this game. Believe it never existed - Duke Nukem Forever never came out.
It's such a shame... It could have been such a nice game - but so many interesting games get cancelled nowadays, right?
note this is not mine i thought it would be info before you guys buy this
Review:
Duke Nukem Forever, the game that was meant to come out 12 years ago, but was cancelled.
We were left with it being a fun reference, "Forever, because it took them forever to make, haha!"
A game that wasn't made... and now that I've seen it, it really shouldn't have been made.
This is BEYOND HORRIBLE. There are NO WORDS to describe the atrocity of the horribleness of this game.
The game lacks anything that would truly provide "fun" or "entertainment".
The creators thought "oh hey, we'll add an interactive environment so you can play with anything and feel like you're actually a part of this world!"
And throughout that mindstorming, they decided they'll grab a bunch of stuff together people liked in other games, like riding a car, and essentially copying the game mechanics of Mass Effect 2, Call of Duty, and most essentially Half-Life.
Now, what they have created is merely an abomination.
In fact, this is the video game equivalent of Twilight. People play it to become one with Duke, who's being told he's awesome, handsome, and the savior and hero of the whole world. You give out autographs and have your own mansion of sluts, and work for the army, and directly for the President.
....wait, I thought this was a Duke Nukem game! So when do I actually start SHOOTING STUFF? Instead of being addressed by sluts, generals, presidents, soldiers, and random strippers to do their f---ing chore?
Guess what. You don't shoot ANYTHING for 45 minutes. NOTHING. You don't have a GUN. You can't punch, kick, or basically do any of that stuff. In fact, there are no monsters even. No aliens. You just RUN AROUND your fricking mansion and TALK to people who talk ENDLESSLY and don't EVER have a chance to skip!
We got ourselves a good new-type shooter, RPG elements and... linearity. Hell, it's so linear that if you have to interact with something, it's high-lighted so you don't even have to think for a moment. There are no secrets, and...
Did I mention the two weapon limitation? Oh, I didn't. Not yet, anyways. You can hold only TWO weapons, and have an atrociously mortifying ammo system that's just in the way, and is essentially pointless considering whenever you have to actually fight something, they provide you with infinite. But when you're just walking around stomping on rats (yeah that's right, instead of killing aliens of course) you don't get any ammo. The only worthwhile gun in the game is the Shotgun though, and you get an RPG at the end which does not provide the explosion and feel of the old one anyways. You get lasers that suck, the AT laser is just weak and crap and the AT Captain Laser has a 3 second charge up time which you have to do over and over again if you get hit by an enemy. Wow.
The list of negatives is endless, yet there's basically almost nothing positive to say about this game. Nothing. We played for 4 hours hoping we'd get something out of it... But no.
In fact, I haven't mentioned how you can one-shot monsters with head shots, BUT if you are two stair cases below, then you aim for the head, and you MISS. You can't shoot across the fricking STAIRS. They're in the way or what? In a new sector? An alternate universe?? Well I'm not sure, but you certainly cannot shoot anything if you're a level below, despite there being nothing blocking the way.
The AI is crap, the linearity is atrocious and the whole gameplay is bland, the music is unrecognizable and unmemorable, the weapons suck, it's a whole giant load of crap with RPG elements and endless talking. RPG meaning annoying yet easily solvable puzzles, like putting 3 barrels in a van to make it heavy enough so you can jump over. Great... well wasn't that obvious? Of course it was. It cannot get any more uncreative than it is, really.
So whenever you see a positive review of this game, you should know: they are either the creators themselves, or someone who was paid to say it's playable, or someone on an acid trip or shrooms or weed or any sort of mind altering drugs. Anyone in the right mind will most possibly be as disappointed as I was.
Verdict:
Do not even CONSIDER buying this game. Believe it never existed - Duke Nukem Forever never came out.
It's such a shame... It could have been such a nice game - but so many interesting games get cancelled nowadays, right?
note this is not mine i thought it would be info before you guys buy this
I don't believe this really. I watched a youtube vid and a dude was shooting a gun in 3mns 25s. It still looks shitty but be honest.
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