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Like the video please!

One critcism, don't say 'umm' so much :p
Other than that it's fine

Lmao,

Pro tip when doing VO's don't say 'uhm'. Makes you sound nervous which you can tell you are.
Cange the level of your voice it is to high and gets distorted.
You also need to say each words clearer. I believe your Irish or some shit. So most people won't be able to understand your accent.

Good luck.

Also I just clicked as I hate Justin Bieber.

I only realized the number of times I said "umm"

good commentary just turn the game audio down a little