(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ok so i got this idea from a man name dark aces on gamefaqs, he touched on some good topics but i will go more in-depth with each one and add some more topics.

THIS IS THE GUIDE ON HOW TO BE THE GREATEST PLAYER EVER ON COD!!!!!111ONE

p.s. if you hate noobtoobing or commando read the last page first =D b4 u flame, because if you flame you end up looking like a jackass

ALSO DONT FORGET TO CHECK YOUR PRO LEVEL ON THE LAST PAGE =D and post it if you like :love:

I ADDED A LIST OF PRO WEAPONS FOR ANY OF YOU WONDERING WHAT WEAPONS TO USE

[multipage=RULE #1-There is only one attachment you should use on your assault rifle]

When using an assault rifle, the ONLY attachment you should EVER use is the grenade launcher. Any other attachment will only serve you as a way to your demise. EVERY OTHER ATTACHMENT IS POINTLESS.

[multipage=METHOD #1-How to use the grenade launcher]

As soon as the match starts and you join the game with your assault rifle switch DIRECTLY to your launcher. Then immediately after switching to your launcher aim up in the sky and shoot both launchers. This method is referred to by all the mlg players as "spawn toobing". If you are truly dedicated to being the greatest player ever then u would do as most of the greats do and go into split screen and practice spawn toobing. By the way, NEVER save your launchers for a time where you could use it to gain an advantage over a camper or a man who is going for the nuke, except if you have one man army.

[multipage=METHOD #2-One man army noob toobing]

Okay this is quite possibly the ultimate way to show your skill in mw2. Only the true cod beasts know how to properly one man army and i am going to be kind enough to teach you =D.

What you need:
1.Assault rifle with grenade launcher attachment
2.One man army perk
3.Danger close perk
4.claymores
5.good building to camp

Method:
Okay so what you want to do is find a building to camp in that has windows that you can look out of to shoot your launchers and only two entrances. After you have found a building, place a clay at one entrance and use one man army to switch back to the same class to place another clay at the other entrance. Then look out the window and continually shoot your launcher and using one man army every time you run out. This is a perfect way to get a nuke.

NOTE- This method works best in game modes like Snd, Dom, and Hq.

[multipage=RULE #2-There is only one smg you should use]

The only smg you should EVER use is the Ump-45. Every other smg is statistically worse than the almighty ump-45. This gun is a 3 hit kill AT ALL RANGE, and a two hit kill within 20 yards if you slap on stopping power. Using another smg would be like picking to sleep with amy winehouse when you could have slept with Megan Fox.
There are 3 ways to use the Ump-45 that are almost guaranteed to get you a nuke and show off your mad skillz.

[multipage=METHOD #3-Ways to use the ump-45]

There are 3 ways to use the Ump-45.
1. Requires Ump, any secondary, claymores, Scavenger, stopping power, ninja. Pretty simple just find a spot and camp. any one who gets close enough will drop in two bullets. Only us this method in respawn games.
2. Requires Ump, Pistol with tactical knife, Throwing Knife(to show your better than every1 else), Marathon, Lightweight, and Commando. Run around at all times with your tactical knife and knife people from 10 yards away, and any enemy that is more than 20 yards take out your ump and pwn(term used by all the best players) them. USE THIS METHOD IN ALL GAME MODES.
3. Requires Ump, Pistol with tactical knife, Throwing Knife(to show your better than every1 else), Marathon, coldblooded, and Ninja. This method is for when you want to be stealthy and ninja defuse to show that you don't even need to kill anyone to prove your better than them. Only use this method in snd.

[multipage=RULE #3/METHOD #4-Light machine guns are for scrubs except if it is you using them]

The light machine guns should be frowned upon, except if you use them. Remember to only use this class

Any LMG WITH G ATTACHMENT
Any Secondary
Claymores
Scavenger
Stopping Power
Steady aim

METHO
All you need to do is find one spot on the map and just sit there holding down L1 and continually shooting.

[multipage=RULE #4- The only sniper you should use]

The only sniper the great players in MW2 ever use is the INTERVENTION. Using any other sniper officially makes you a scrub and you are labeled as a virgin, no matter how many times you have had intercourse or if you are married.

[multipage=METHOD #5- How to use the INTERVENTION]

Class setup:
Intervention with thermal or fmj attachment
spaz 12 or AA12
throwing knife(again you need this to show you are better than every1 else)
Stuns
Slight of hand pro
stopping power
steady aim

Method:
The only thing you really need to know is NEVER, EVER, Hardscope. This is what complete scrubs do. Basically hardscoping is looking down the scope (IKR who da f does that). What you should do is quickscope or no scope. those are the only true legit ways of sniping. Oh and to help with your quickscoping make sure you join lots and lots of sniper lobbies(private matches sole for the purpose of sniping only). Another way to help is watching lots of quickscoping montages on YouTube for hours and hours.

[multipage=RULE #5-What to do when you die]

If you are running around the map and somehow some scrub gets lucky and you lag so he kills you, quickly skip the killcam and RUN BACK to the spot you were killed in to attempt to get your revenge kill. REVENGE KILLS MEAN EVERYTHING. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES HE KILLS YOU IF YOU GET YOUR REVENGE KILL YOU ARE BETTER THAN HIM. After you have got your revenge kill make sure to camp to his spot as he will surely keep coming back for a revenge kill like an idiot.

[multipage=RULE #6-KDR and WLR mean EVERYTHING]

Your kills to death ratio and your wins to loss ratio mean the world to you and everybody else. So if you are having a bad game make sure to either dashboard or quit game, or if you are truly elite unplug your router or Ethernet cable. Remember if you don't have a high enough KDR or WLR you will never be able to do these things:

1. Sit at the cool table during lunch.
2. Talk to girls
3. brag
4. talk trash
5. whine
6. Get laid

ALSO IF YOU HAVE LOST YOUR V CARD AND HAVE GONE NEGATIVE IN A GAME OF MW2 WITHOUT DASH BOARDING OR QUITING GAME YOU AUTOMATICALLY GET A NEW V CARD AND WILL HAVE TO RE LOSE IT.

[multipage=RULE #7-Show good sportsmanship]

You can never be the greatest without showing good showmanship. This includes but is not limited to

1. Trash Talking
2. whining after every time you are killed
3. blaming every death on lag
4. Bragging after every kill
5. challenging anyone who does better than you to a 1v1

[multipage=RULE #8- NEVER waste your time]

Don't waste your time taking down an enemy killstreak with your stinger. Its pointless and you have the chance of getting killed while looking up. Just continue what your doing because you are the best.

Don't waste you time going for the objective as well. There is no need for you to go for the objective as you have teammates to do that for you. Plus there is a chance you get killed while going for the objective.

Don't waste your time using UAV as a killstreak. If you are truly great then you don't need the UAV. Just continue to rock the 5-7-9, 7-9-11, 5-7-11, and 7-11-25 killstreak set ups as they show more of how skilled you are.

[multipage=Rule #10-Always remember you are better than every1 else]

Even if they do better than you, remember it is only one game and overall you are better than them. No matter how much more stats they have, or how high their gamebattle team is up on the ladder, THEY ARE < YOU.

[multipage=RULE #11-THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE AND IF YOU DON'T FOLLOW IT YOU ARE NOT PRO]

Always remember that your account name pretty much decides your fate on whether or not people will ever look up to you in life. Things that should be included in you account name, but not limited to, are:

1.xX_ prefix and _xX suffix
2.zX_ prefix and _Xz suffix
3.xX-_ prefix and _-Xx suffix
4.zX-_ prefix and _-Xz suffix
5.lots of x's
6.replace capital I's with lower case L's
7.i-_(yourname) eg: i-_Holy or i-_N00DL3s
8. replace letters with look alike numbers
9.Your account name should say you are pro in it ,that you quickscope, or that you pwn the noobs


[multipage=CHECK YOUR PRO LEVEL HERE]

Ok so following each rule gets you 1 point and following each method posted gets you 1 pt.

0 pts= VIRGIN NOOB
1 pts= NOOB WHO IS TOO SCARED TO TALK TO GIRLS
2 pts= WTFZOMGBBQ get off the game scrub
3 pts= you need to GOML
4 pts= SERIOUSLY GET A LIFE(according to those that are UBER PRO at MW2)
5 pts= GOMMEL
6 pts= NOOB
7 pts= average player
8 pts= Good player
9 pts= Great player
10 pts= YOUR THE GREATEST
10>x pts= Dude, seriously you realize this is a toke jopic right? you sir are a true noob.

I haz 9pts so i iz a great player

[multipage=PRIMARY WEAPONS THAT ARE PRO]



M16A4- Most pros use it, shows how pro you are at aiming. BEST WHEN USING THE STRATEGY OF "LIMITING YOUR MOVEMENT"
ACR- This is THE MOST PRO ASSAULT RIFLE out there. It is very hard to use, so thats why only the true elite can handle its recoil and sway :carling:
UMP-45- Seriously like i said using another smg is like wanting to bang this woman:
You must login or register to view this content.
over this woman:
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ALL LMGS: come on isn't that obvious, they are just so awesome. Plus, they are perfect with the "limiting your movement" startegy =D
INTERVENTION: last but not least, the only sniper you should ever touch, ever.


[multipage=SECONDARY WEAPONS AND EQUIPMENT THAT ARE PRO]

AA12- SPRAY AND PRAY BABY:evil:
THUMPER-again, much like noob toobs, at the beginning of the map aim all the way up and shoot, NEVER SAVE THESE :black:
Semtex- at the beginning of the match sprint forward aim up and throw =D
Throwing knife:ALWAYS SAVE FOR GAMEWINNING KILL

[multipage=THE END]

Hahaha LoL @ some of the "serious" replies in this toke jopic

Nice 1

What a total waiste of your time and mine. Thanks for a really dumb post.:derp:

your welcome :p plus your opinion don't equal fact i actually felt this was a valuable way to spend my time at 11 pm :p

---------- Post added at 03:23 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:20 PM ----------



so y did u open it :p and i am very serious about all this valuable info :carling: seriously though 90% of the cod community use my methods

exactly. 90 percent. only 5 % played like this in febuary after that all you dudes came in here with this method of playing and on ps3 over half a million people quit playing this game yall broke it by being cheap. oh well and now all of you are jumpin on bo. cod is gonna turn like rockband and fall off due to all the children messing it up

you sir, cant take a joke and you take cod too seriously

omg thanks, this worked for me!!!

glad i could help, just between you and me, i left out one of the bigger methods, TRY NOT TO MOVE EVER :p sitting in a corner is surely a method that will get u a nuke no prob :derp:

i can take a joke just didnt seem funny, because its the truth . 90% do play like that. and it wasn't like that until a couple of months ago. i remember on ps3 there would be 950k plus people online playing. now it barely hits 400k. you read about it alot on here on ngu but go on other gaming forums. g4, ign , etc and you would see the mw2 community is way smaller and most people have returned or traded thier games in. only people who keep playing mw2 and 3 type of people.

1. people who r addicted to mw2
2. douche bags who exploit every mistake of iw
3. people who dont have any other new game to play

ok THANKS ALOT =D