Post: Step back... or I'll use my penis on you!
03-17-2010, 12:49 PM #1
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Got to be the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

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Originally posted by another user

Man used penis to assault female police officer
Marius Varinauskas [Pic: Newsline]
The court heard Marium Varinauskas had been drinking heavily

A man who assaulted a female police officer with his penis has been fined.

Marium Varinauskas, 28, tried to strike the officer on the head with his penis when she was called out to his flat, but she got out of the way.

Lithuanian Varinauskas admitted a charge of assault at Aberdeen Sheriff Court and was fined £600.

The court heard he had been drinking heavily and could not remember committing the offence at his home in Aberdeen.

Police were called to his home by his girlfriend, who had complained about him being drunk last November.

They arrived to find the self-employed engineer sitting on the sofa wearing a pair of underpants.

He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed
John Hardie
Defence solicitor

Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."

Defence solicitor John Hardie said: "He was sitting on the couch drunk with his pants on.

"He can't remember anything but accepts that if that's what the police say then that's what happened.

"He has never been so drunk before that day and accepts he has to take full responsibility. He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed."

His not guilty plea to committing a breach of the peace by uttering offensive and sexual remarks was accepted by the Crown.

Sheriff Annella Cowan was told that the Lithuanian had now quit binge drinking because of the incident.
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The following 3 users say thank you to Gobz for this useful post:

Clutch Hunterr, ONEster, Stub Hero
03-17-2010, 12:53 PM #2
Just lol!

Good find gobble, made me laugh Smile
03-17-2010, 12:53 PM #3
Fionn
Banned
Haha £600 fine for that!
I'm still laughing!
03-17-2010, 12:56 PM #4
Lol this is priceless how the hell do you even try to hit someone with your penis lmfao and a cop? What has this world come too lol
03-17-2010, 02:22 PM #5
///M
GTghost
"He has never been so drunk before that day and accepts he has to take full responsibility. He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed."
03-17-2010, 02:35 PM #6
Lmao thats some funny shit xD
03-17-2010, 03:12 PM #7
RICHIE209
March 6, 2011.
Be careful, kdawg and spandex might take offense to this. :rolleyes:

@GtGhost, I would of just claimed being crazy.

The following user thanked RICHIE209 for this useful post:

Jesseeee
03-17-2010, 03:19 PM #8
What were you searching in Google when you found this babes? lol <3
03-17-2010, 06:09 PM #9
Honey
Senpai
Originally posted by xFuSioNz View Post
What were you searching in Google when you found this babes? lol <3


I lol'd ;P

Funny stuff xD
03-17-2010, 06:12 PM #10
NGUWhitey
NGU's OG
Thats hilarious just the fact that she was a girl makes it so much more funnier. He threatened her with his penis, that is by far the funniest thing I have heard in a long time. Smile

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