Post: Step back... or I'll use my penis on you!
03-17-2010, 12:49 PM #1
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Got to be the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

Source: You must login or register to view this content.

You must login or register to view this content.

Originally posted by another user

Man used penis to assault female police officer
Marius Varinauskas [Pic: Newsline]
The court heard Marium Varinauskas had been drinking heavily

A man who assaulted a female police officer with his penis has been fined.

Marium Varinauskas, 28, tried to strike the officer on the head with his penis when she was called out to his flat, but she got out of the way.

Lithuanian Varinauskas admitted a charge of assault at Aberdeen Sheriff Court and was fined £600.

The court heard he had been drinking heavily and could not remember committing the offence at his home in Aberdeen.

Police were called to his home by his girlfriend, who had complained about him being drunk last November.

They arrived to find the self-employed engineer sitting on the sofa wearing a pair of underpants.

He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed
John Hardie
Defence solicitor

Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."

Defence solicitor John Hardie said: "He was sitting on the couch drunk with his pants on.

"He can't remember anything but accepts that if that's what the police say then that's what happened.

"He has never been so drunk before that day and accepts he has to take full responsibility. He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed."

His not guilty plea to committing a breach of the peace by uttering offensive and sexual remarks was accepted by the Crown.

Sheriff Annella Cowan was told that the Lithuanian had now quit binge drinking because of the incident.
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

The following 3 users say thank you to Gobz for this useful post:

Clutch Hunterr, ONEster, Stub Hero
03-17-2010, 06:14 PM #11
lol that some funny shit right there the penis man
03-17-2010, 06:15 PM #12
iSMACKyouFACE
AKA Dfw2k7..
i wonder what would have happened if he hit her in the head with it.
03-17-2010, 09:06 PM #13
that has to be the most awesome thing ever
did they find out how much he drank?? like woah
03-17-2010, 09:51 PM #14
Reaper
The Grim Reaper
you gotta do what you gotta do lol!!!
03-17-2010, 10:40 PM #15
lolololol that made me laugh, nice find gobble
03-17-2010, 10:47 PM #16
"The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck." That right there is serious buisness, she should get a Victoria Cross.

Copyright © 2026, NextGenUpdate.
All Rights Reserved.

Gray NextGenUpdate Logo