You: HOLY ****
Stranger: hi
Stranger:
You: DAVID?!
Stranger: NO!!
You: EMILY?!
Stranger: ;OOOOOOO
Stranger: NOOOO
Stranger: DENISSS
Stranger: ;999
You: DENIS?!!!1
Stranger: YES
Stranger: DENIS!!
Stranger: DENIS!!
Stranger: :*:*
You: hey, man, I'm screwed..
Stranger: ._.
You: like, can we talk serious for a second..?
You: seriously*
Stranger: D
Stranger: And I'm not Denis.
Stranger: XD
Stranger: Ok.
You: Alright. Well, I'm in a lot of trouble :\
Stranger: Why? ;oooo
Stranger: What trouble? ;ooo
You: My dad and I got into a fight in my garager.
You: garage*.
You: he swung at me so I dodged to the side and then I tripped and fell
You: he tried to stomp on me so I rolled over and i grabbed the ice pick off the wall and stuck it up
You: it went into his chest.
You: he's been on the floor for like 20 minutes I think and the house is starting to smell really bad.
You: idk what to do man,
You: i'm really scared.
Stranger: oh my...
Stranger: is there some people in the house without you and him?
You: no. But my brother is supposed to come home soon to visit.
You: shit hold on
You: his phone is ringing
You: oh ****..
You: my neighbor just called
You: he said he heard noise and wanted to make sure everything was okay
You: i told him my dad fell but he was alright...
Stranger: Now you can to call him and ask 4 help.
You: no i can't
You: ****
You: dude.
You: i have to hide the body and fast
You: i hear sirens
Stranger: I don't think that it's good idea.
You: ugh. he's way too heavy..
Stranger: And... It's strange that then it happened, you're talking with 'strangers' on web.
You: you won't call the police on me.
You: i need to find out how to hide the smell is all
Stranger: ._.
You: shit
You: i gtg
You: i hear knocks on my door
You: its the cops
You: ****
Stranger: Are you okay?
Stranger: ...seriously. Is everything alright?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: hey :\
Stranger: hi!
Stranger: whats your favorite pokemon?
You: I don't have one. But, listen, can you help me?
You: I just really need someone to talk to right now..
Stranger: you can count on me
Stranger: ok i'll get serious then
You: thanks.
You: so, yeah.. i'm ****ed man.
Stranger: tell me why
You: my dad and I got into a fight in my garage.
You: he swung at me so I dodged him
You: then I tripped and I accidently hit him in the side with a hammer from the wall
You: he started bleeding really badly
You: anyways, he's knocked out i think
You: but he's turning blueish and he smells REALLY bad..
You: idk what to do
You: my neighbor heard the noise and he keeps calling my dads phone
Stranger: listen
Stranger: successful troll is successful

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hey..

Stranger: hi

You: Um. I need some help.

Stranger: how so

You: I think I accidentally killed my cat.

Stranger: how

You: He was running and I slammed the door behind me because my stupid bitch of a girlfriend was yelling at me.

You: He got caught in the catdoor and his neck is bloodied up pretty badly.

You: I don't know if he's just knocked out or dead.

Stranger: get to a vet realy quick wrap his neck in a non absorbent material

You: My girlfriend took my car.

You: and what kind of non-absorbent material?

You: like what should I use?

Stranger: some thing that wont sponge up the blood

Stranger: silk i beleive it was

You: okay, hold on.

You: let me try.

Stranger: maybe you should call a vet and ask him

You: I don't have my cell phone.

You: nor do I have a phone book.

You: hold on. wrapping his neck.

Stranger: im just a highschooler

You: Alright. ****. His neck is stuck.

You: I pushed it too far and it cracked.

Stranger: where

You: Like right above where his shoulder is.

Stranger: o dont know how to help you

You: Maybe if I take out the nail in his side..

You: do you think that would help?

Stranger: the nail?

You: when he hit the door he clipped the side of a rusty nail

You: or screw

You: i'm not sure what it is. the tufts of fur are covering it.

Stranger: i dont know go get help from a neighbor or something

You: Can you like ask your mom or something

You: I don't know anything about infection.

Stranger: i dont know either

You: is there anyone home with you?

Stranger: no

You: someone you can call?

You: Dude. This cat is almost everything I have.

You: I have to save him. Please.

Stranger: i dont know

You: I just need to know what to do with the nail. You must know an adult.

You: I would call my folks but they're vacationing in Tehran.

Stranger: yeah but know ones home

You: shit dude his paw is shaking.

You: violently.

Stranger: i dont know

You: CALL SOMEONE

You: PLEASE

Stranger: you dont have a home phone or something

You: We disconnected it because we only use our cell phones.

Stranger: no neighbors

You: I live in an apartment complex.

Stranger: go ask some one

You: no one's home.

You: or at least, I don't think so.

You: and believe me, most of these people are weird..

Stranger: ok well i dont know how to help

Stranger: google it or something

You: I'm not sure what to Google.

You: can you help with that/

Stranger: how to treat cat neck injury

You: help me search

You: i'll go look for some sites

You: alright.

You: Did you find anything..?

Stranger: yeaH

You: link me.

Stranger: [url]HTTP://www,petalert.com.au/faid/fa11.php[/url]

You: alright. thanks.

You: that's the same page I found

Stranger: go ask neighbors if you can use their phone

You: Alright.

You: Hold on.

Stranger: has he stoped bleeding

You: um, yeah.

Stranger: shaking

You: not stopped shaking

You: I found a picture on a site

You: that kind of shows what he looks like

You: it's an external link though so the link is really long

You: but

You: yeah

You: You must login or register to view this content.

You: They have treatment information.

You: I'm supposed to keep his legs held down and gently apply warm compresses to it.

Stranger: no no blue waffle

You: That's the link that they gave me.

You: Although it's definitely not linking to what it does on the page :|

You: stupid petinfo.

Stranger: blah i hate blue waffle

You: yeah, me too.

You: anyways

You: I think I'm doing it right

You: Can you google a vet's number for me?

You: I will skype call it.

Stranger: what city do you live in

You: I live on the outskirts of Miami.

You: In Florida.

You: shit.

You: he's convulsing.

Stranger: area code?

You: Ughh. He just got blood over me.

You: ****ing gross.

You: if blood smells like gasoline, is that bad?

Stranger: dont know

You: HOLY SHIT HE EXPLODED.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.