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Ok, We have all been there, caught short in a public place. A number 1 can be easily carried out with the minimum of time and embarrassment (aslong as you're not ashamed of something). But what if you are in desperate need of a number two whilst in a public place. You will ofcourse have to use public toilets, which, by their very nature are open to the public. This means that there is the very clear and present danger of embarrassment. You would think these toilets are built for public humiliation; with the gaps below and above the walls, people queuing merely meters outside the door, just waiting to hear some incriminating noises coming from your direction. Ofcourse this guide will be useless if the restroom is empty or in your own house as in these occasions you can carry out your natural business without worry, but when you are cut short you will need to keep the risk of public humiliation in mind. In this guide I'm going to highlight some of the tools and strategies you can utilise in these situations and leave the restroom without all the looks, giggles and murmurs.

On Entry
Upon entry to the cubicle the most, I repeat the most important thing to do is check the rear wiping paper situation. Before you do anything, even lock the door you check how much toilet roll if any there is in the cubicle. There is nothing more embarrasing than finishing your business and having to waddle over to the next cubicle in front of those waiting. If you're lucky you might have a newspaper or a friendly man in the cubiclee next to you who you can ask kindly to pass some Charmin' extra soft under the wall.
If the toilet roll situations is okay you can proceed to lock the door and move onto the next step.

Before Sitting
Before sitting down you must take some initial preparations to ensure no humiliation takes place. You must grab a couple of sheets of toilet paper and and drop them into the bowl, ensuring these land in the water (assuming it is a wet toilet, please skip this if you are using a dry toilet). The toilet roll used in this step can also be used to wipe the seat and get rid of any unknown iquids.
Doing this helps eliminate one of the most embarrassing factors when carrying out your natural proccesses. This is ofcourse splash. Have you ever been sat there and then to your shock and dismay you hear a large *plop*. With this toilet roll in the basin it absorbs the impact of the matter and completely eliminates the plop. It also gets rid of the problem of splashback, which is not so humiliating but not very hygienic although some find great pleasure in the splashback, each to their own.

During
We have now got rid of the problem of splash but what about those bodily noises we just can't control. When carrying out your stool visit you may experience many farts etc. These are ofcourse very funny but when amongst strangers it is probably not so appropriate. To combat these noises there are many tactics that you can utilise to cover up these noises.

Flush
This is probably one of the best cover-up tactics that you can use. However this comes with a few disadvantages. It has to be timed extremely well as there is a delay between the pulling of the lever and the height of the flush. It is also only good for one use as it has a long 'recharge' time, although can be used multiple times during an unduly large restroom visit. This method can also pose problems at the end of your feces as the flush may still be recharging when it is time to flush for the final time. This may add embarrassment as you either have to wait for the flush and keep people waiting or you can leave or you can walk out and keep your feces on show (this may not be embarrassing if you are proud of your work)

Other Cover up Methods
These include coughs, sneezes and other loud noises such as banging, whistling and just making anything loud. These are extremely effective when used correctly and convincingly.

Smell
If there is no air freshener available then you will have to adopt other methods. My personnal favourite is (if you feel the risk of a smelly passing is high) upon entry to the cubicle to make it known to those waiting outside that the smell exists already, left behind by its previous occupier.

Following these guidelines will hopefully reduce the possibilty of public humiliation. However there are other factors that are out of your own control and can lead to embarrassment, such as the time taken to pass your feces but just remember

Key
Toilet Roll
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Toilet
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Thanks,
Dom!

PEACE

That is the best guide ever !!!! I am now ready to do business

Wow, I never thought anyone would make a guide on this. Hah.

haha no wayy, I've never seen a guide like this before and it had alot of detail lol cheers.

I have only had to take a number 2 twice in public.. I really do not do it.. I hold it until I get home haha

Lol, I had a bad reaction to Chipotles once and had to go in a Dicks Sports store (whatever they were called before) and I could hear people every couple of minutes walk in and just leave instantly, I guess I completely ignored most rules in this guide

Rather useful isn't it?

This is a great post, I nominated.

Why thank you Good Sir

This was sad but true.