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Buying things-For dummies!

Hello there.This is a step to step guide on how to buy a chocolate bar.
(May I just point out that it CAN be difficult for minors)


1. Enter the shop but try not to trip up over the 2cm step up.
2. Walk over to the aisle full of sweets and chocolates and be careful, the aisle is NOT invincible to you dummy powers!
3. Now attempt to locate your chocolate bar and reach out for it.WARNING: G IT HARD AND DO NOT TRY TO USE THE FORCE!
IT DOESN'T WORK![/SIZE]
4. Fight your brain to try and pick it up and don't forget carry on holding onto it TIGHT!
If you are up to here without being arrested for attempting to shoplift the chocolate bar by just walking away from the last step-you are doing well!
5.Attempt to stagger back to the counter STILL GPING THE BAR
6. Now raise your arm and drop the bar onto the counter gently. Throwing is not recommended.
7.After the person behind the counter hands you the item you have just purchased back to you after scanning it with that weird high pitched bleeping thing which usually drives YOU insane-pick the chocolate bar up and hand that weird clump of metal/piece of paper which feels like an old persons face to the cashier. The cashier will say something which only normal people can hear correctly (So you can't hear it) and walk away.
8.Check if the door is push or pull, if you cannot figure-sit down and cry and wait for the next person to walk in and scramble out of the door fast!
CONGRATULATIONS!
YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY PURCHASED SOMETHING FROM YOUR LOCAL SHOP WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE A COMPLETE TIT!

I hope this step to step guide helped all of the dummies reading this!
Thank you for reading/sleeping over this guide ERP:

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*Hard to Read

Do I really have to make a step to step guide called 'How to read-For dummies' now?
It's not that bad!! :derp:

[quote='[xG]RawR;1464539']Do I really have to make a step to step guide called 'How to read-For dummies' now?
It's not that bad!! :derp:[/quote]

No just edit your text to be dark duuu.
Do I really need to make a step by step guide called "How to edit your text to a darker colour" now?
It's not hard.

I was going to but then my Internet went off again so I'm making it darker now

I would have skipped everything after step 4 and just put it in my pocket and walked out. Who PAYS for candy bars??

Was this sopposed to be funny?

Nobody realizes how retarded people are.... I live in Memphis.... Everyone here is retarded in some way... So they need something like this to know how to buy something rofl...

Precisely why I made this?

Read God_Of_war 's post and then read the quote of this quote I am directing to you.

Very good answer indeed but there has been a rise in crime rates and more than 101% of them are committed by retards stealing candy bars. The police should join NGU and rep me nao!

This still was never funny.. shouldn´t this be in entertainment section if anyone finds it amusing