Post: Ultimate American Insults (don't have a go at me!)
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08-21-2010, 06:39 PM
#1
ChatBox
Banned
America is one long expectoration
The American has no language, he has a dialect, slang, provincialism, accent and so forth
Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up
America is the only nation in history which has gone miraculously gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilisation
If there was ever an aviary overstocked with jays it is that Yaptouwn on the Hudson called New York
If your going to America, bring your own food
When you become used to never being alone, you may consider yourself Americanised
No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public
If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell
California is a fine place to live. if you happen to be an orange
Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz
It was wonderful to find America, put perhaps it would have been more wonderful to miss it
All American writing gives me the impression that Americans don't care for girls at all. What the American male really wants is two things: he wants to be blown by a stranger while reading a newspaper and he wants to be ****ed by his buddy when he's drunk. Everything else is society.
There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.
Their ... demeanour is invariably morose, sullen, clownish and repulsive. I should think there is not, on the face of the earth, a people so entirely destitute of humour, vivacity, or the capacity of enjoyment.
The American nation in the sixth ward is a fine people; they love the eagle — on the back of a dollar.
No one can be as calculatedly rude as the British, which amazes Americans, who do not understand studied insult and can only offer abuse as a substitute.
Knavery seems to be so much the striking feature of its inhabitants that it may not in the end be an evil that they will become aliens to this country.
The organisation of American society is an interlocking system of semi-monopolies notoriously venal, an electorate notoriously unenlightened, misled by a mass media notoriously phoney.
Sir, they are a race of convicts and ought to be grateful for anything we allow them short of hanging.
The American has no language. He has dialect, slang, provincialism, accent and so forth.
If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Americans are people who laugh at African witch doctors and spend 100 million dollars on fake reducing systems.
There won't be any revolution in America ... the people are too clean. They spend all their time changing their shirts and washing themselves. You can't feel fierce and revolutionary in a bathroom.
The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide open spaces surrounded by teeth.
Question: If you find so much that is unworthy of reverence in the United States, why do you live here?
Mencken: Why do men go to zoos?
The American political system is like fast food - mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some.
The national dish of America is menus.
Frustrate a Frenchman, he will drink himself to death; an Irishman, he will die of angry hypertension; a Dane, he will shoot himself; an American, he will get drunk, shoot you, then establish a million dollar aid programme for your relatives. Then he will die of an ulcer.
America ... where laws and customs alike are based on the dreams of spinsters.
In America everybody is of the opinion that he has no social superiors, since all men are equal, but he does not admit that he has no social inferiors.
Here is the difference between Dante, Milton and me. They wrote about hell and never saw the place. I wrote about Chicago after looking the town over for years and years.
The 100% American is 99% idiot.
The American male doesn't mature until he has exhausted all other possibilities.
In the four corners of the globe, who reads an American book? or goes to an American play? or looks at an American picture or statue? What does the world yet owe to America's physicians and surgeons? ... Who drinks out of American glasses? or eats from American plates? or wears American coats and gowns? or sleeps in American blankets? Finally, under which of the old tyrannical governments of Europe is every sixth man a slave, whom his fellow creatures may buy and sell and torture?
In America any boy may become President, and I suppose that's just the risk he takes.
New York is a city of 7,000,000 so decadent that when I leave it I never dare look back lest I turn into salt and the conductor throw me over his left shoulder for good luck.
I found there a country with thirty-two religions and only one sauce.
America ... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair.
Speaking of New York as a traveller I have two faults to find with it. In the first place there is nothing to see; and in the second place there is no mode of getting about to see anything.
I heard an Englishman, who had been long resident in America, declare that in following, in meeting, or in overtaking, in the street, on the road, or in the field, at the theatre, the coffee-house, or at home, he had never overheard Americans conversing without the word DOLLAR being pronounced between them. Such unity of purpose ... can ... be found nowhere else, except... in an ant's nest.
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practise either of them.
The hatred Americans have for their own government is pathological ... at one level it is simply thwarted greed: since our religion is making a buck, giving a part of that buck to any government is an act against nature.
Gore Vidal, US writer
The Americans, like the English, probably make love worse than any other race.
It is absurd to say that there are neither ruins nor curiosities in America when they have their mothers and their manners.
Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.
In America the President rules for four years and journalism governs for ever and ever.
When good Americans die, they go to Paris; when bad Americans die, they go to America.
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08-22-2010, 01:05 AM
#47
Vaner
.
Originally posted by ChatBox
I am willing to love all mankind, except an American
America is one long expectoration
The American has no language, he has a dialect, slang, provincialism, accent and so forth
Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up
America is the only nation in history which has gone miraculously gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilisation
If there was ever an aviary overstocked with jays it is that Yaptouwn on the Hudson called New York
If your going to America, bring your own food
When you become used to never being alone, you may consider yourself Americanised
No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public
If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell
California is a fine place to live. if you happen to be an orange
Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz
It was wonderful to find America, put perhaps it would have been more wonderful to miss it
All American writing gives me the impression that Americans don't care for girls at all. What the American male really wants is two things: he wants to be blown by a stranger while reading a newspaper and he wants to be ****ed by his buddy when he's drunk. Everything else is society.
There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.
Their ... demeanour is invariably morose, sullen, clownish and repulsive. I should think there is not, on the face of the earth, a people so entirely destitute of humour, vivacity, or the capacity of enjoyment.
The American nation in the sixth ward is a fine people; they love the eagle — on the back of a dollar.
No one can be as calculatedly rude as the British, which amazes Americans, who do not understand studied insult and can only offer abuse as a substitute.
Knavery seems to be so much the striking feature of its inhabitants that it may not in the end be an evil that they will become aliens to this country.
The organisation of American society is an interlocking system of semi-monopolies notoriously venal, an electorate notoriously unenlightened, misled by a mass media notoriously phoney.
Sir, they are a race of convicts and ought to be grateful for anything we allow them short of hanging.
The American has no language. He has dialect, slang, provincialism, accent and so forth.
If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Americans are people who laugh at African witch doctors and spend 100 million dollars on fake reducing systems.
There won't be any revolution in America ... the people are too clean. They spend all their time changing their shirts and washing themselves. You can't feel fierce and revolutionary in a bathroom.
The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide open spaces surrounded by teeth.
Question: If you find so much that is unworthy of reverence in the United States, why do you live here?
Mencken: Why do men go to zoos?
The American political system is like fast food - mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some.
The national dish of America is menus.
Frustrate a Frenchman, he will drink himself to death; an Irishman, he will die of angry hypertension; a Dane, he will shoot himself; an American, he will get drunk, shoot you, then establish a million dollar aid programme for your relatives. Then he will die of an ulcer.
America ... where laws and customs alike are based on the dreams of spinsters.
In America everybody is of the opinion that he has no social superiors, since all men are equal, but he does not admit that he has no social inferiors.
Here is the difference between Dante, Milton and me. They wrote about hell and never saw the place. I wrote about Chicago after looking the town over for years and years.
The 100% American is 99% idiot.
The American male doesn't mature until he has exhausted all other possibilities.
In the four corners of the globe, who reads an American book? or goes to an American play? or looks at an American picture or statue? What does the world yet owe to America's physicians and surgeons? ... Who drinks out of American glasses? or eats from American plates? or wears American coats and gowns? or sleeps in American blankets? Finally, under which of the old tyrannical governments of Europe is every sixth man a slave, whom his fellow creatures may buy and sell and torture?
In America any boy may become President, and I suppose that's just the risk he takes.
New York is a city of 7,000,000 so decadent that when I leave it I never dare look back lest I turn into salt and the conductor throw me over his left shoulder for good luck.
I found there a country with thirty-two religions and only one sauce.
America ... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair.
Speaking of New York as a traveller I have two faults to find with it. In the first place there is nothing to see; and in the second place there is no mode of getting about to see anything.
I heard an Englishman, who had been long resident in America, declare that in following, in meeting, or in overtaking, in the street, on the road, or in the field, at the theatre, the coffee-house, or at home, he had never overheard Americans conversing without the word DOLLAR being pronounced between them. Such unity of purpose ... can ... be found nowhere else, except... in an ant's nest.
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practise either of them.
The hatred Americans have for their own government is pathological ... at one level it is simply thwarted greed: since our religion is making a buck, giving a part of that buck to any government is an act against nature.
Gore Vidal, US writer
The Americans, like the English, probably make love worse than any other race.
It is absurd to say that there are neither ruins nor curiosities in America when they have their mothers and their manners.
Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.
In America the President rules for four years and journalism governs for ever and ever.
When good Americans die, they go to Paris; when bad Americans die, they go to America.
You must login or register to view this content.
PLEASE POST A REPLY WITH YOUR FAVOURITE ONE!
America is one long expectoration
The American has no language, he has a dialect, slang, provincialism, accent and so forth
Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up
America is the only nation in history which has gone miraculously gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilisation
If there was ever an aviary overstocked with jays it is that Yaptouwn on the Hudson called New York
If your going to America, bring your own food
When you become used to never being alone, you may consider yourself Americanised
No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public
If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell
California is a fine place to live. if you happen to be an orange
Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz
It was wonderful to find America, put perhaps it would have been more wonderful to miss it
All American writing gives me the impression that Americans don't care for girls at all. What the American male really wants is two things: he wants to be blown by a stranger while reading a newspaper and he wants to be ****ed by his buddy when he's drunk. Everything else is society.
There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.
Their ... demeanour is invariably morose, sullen, clownish and repulsive. I should think there is not, on the face of the earth, a people so entirely destitute of humour, vivacity, or the capacity of enjoyment.
The American nation in the sixth ward is a fine people; they love the eagle — on the back of a dollar.
No one can be as calculatedly rude as the British, which amazes Americans, who do not understand studied insult and can only offer abuse as a substitute.
Knavery seems to be so much the striking feature of its inhabitants that it may not in the end be an evil that they will become aliens to this country.
The organisation of American society is an interlocking system of semi-monopolies notoriously venal, an electorate notoriously unenlightened, misled by a mass media notoriously phoney.
Sir, they are a race of convicts and ought to be grateful for anything we allow them short of hanging.
The American has no language. He has dialect, slang, provincialism, accent and so forth.
If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Americans are people who laugh at African witch doctors and spend 100 million dollars on fake reducing systems.
There won't be any revolution in America ... the people are too clean. They spend all their time changing their shirts and washing themselves. You can't feel fierce and revolutionary in a bathroom.
The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide open spaces surrounded by teeth.
Question: If you find so much that is unworthy of reverence in the United States, why do you live here?
Mencken: Why do men go to zoos?
The American political system is like fast food - mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some.
The national dish of America is menus.
Frustrate a Frenchman, he will drink himself to death; an Irishman, he will die of angry hypertension; a Dane, he will shoot himself; an American, he will get drunk, shoot you, then establish a million dollar aid programme for your relatives. Then he will die of an ulcer.
America ... where laws and customs alike are based on the dreams of spinsters.
In America everybody is of the opinion that he has no social superiors, since all men are equal, but he does not admit that he has no social inferiors.
Here is the difference between Dante, Milton and me. They wrote about hell and never saw the place. I wrote about Chicago after looking the town over for years and years.
The 100% American is 99% idiot.
The American male doesn't mature until he has exhausted all other possibilities.
In the four corners of the globe, who reads an American book? or goes to an American play? or looks at an American picture or statue? What does the world yet owe to America's physicians and surgeons? ... Who drinks out of American glasses? or eats from American plates? or wears American coats and gowns? or sleeps in American blankets? Finally, under which of the old tyrannical governments of Europe is every sixth man a slave, whom his fellow creatures may buy and sell and torture?
In America any boy may become President, and I suppose that's just the risk he takes.
New York is a city of 7,000,000 so decadent that when I leave it I never dare look back lest I turn into salt and the conductor throw me over his left shoulder for good luck.
I found there a country with thirty-two religions and only one sauce.
America ... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair.
Speaking of New York as a traveller I have two faults to find with it. In the first place there is nothing to see; and in the second place there is no mode of getting about to see anything.
I heard an Englishman, who had been long resident in America, declare that in following, in meeting, or in overtaking, in the street, on the road, or in the field, at the theatre, the coffee-house, or at home, he had never overheard Americans conversing without the word DOLLAR being pronounced between them. Such unity of purpose ... can ... be found nowhere else, except... in an ant's nest.
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practise either of them.
The hatred Americans have for their own government is pathological ... at one level it is simply thwarted greed: since our religion is making a buck, giving a part of that buck to any government is an act against nature.
Gore Vidal, US writer
The Americans, like the English, probably make love worse than any other race.
It is absurd to say that there are neither ruins nor curiosities in America when they have their mothers and their manners.
Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.
In America the President rules for four years and journalism governs for ever and ever.
When good Americans die, they go to Paris; when bad Americans die, they go to America.
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EPIC mate EPIC:mudkip: I laughed alot.
08-22-2010, 02:55 AM
#54
+tA.Daisho
Crumpets and tea?
Originally posted by NP
Well then, let's try this, if you guys think your so much better. Who would win in a war of US vs. UK? And we all know the true answer. And that's all that matters, as it makes us the most powerful country in the world. Also, you guys just mad because your queen doesn't let you have guns. =D
Thinking about this I think you've got the wrong end of the stick. You see I don't think England is better than USA its my opinion that both countries are equal.
The whole reason I will defend England in this thread is because of the ignorant and damn right wrong opinion of blackhawk who started this whole discussion off. I have no problem with the USA in general heck I have dozens of friends who are American.
However after saying that I would like to answer your question of a war Between the US vs UK. Its quite obvious the immediate advantage stand on US due to sheer size. However if the US ever made an hostile advance on the UK its highly likely we would be forced to unleash our Nuclear arsenal thus if this happened the whole world would be destroyed and no one would have won.
As for our Queen not letting us have firearms, the queen does not have that decision. The Government makes firearms illegal however that does not stop people having them its just illegal the same concept can be applied to drugs. Just because they are illegal it does not mean the are not available.
---------- Post added at 09:55 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:50 PM ----------
Originally posted by NP
Please refer to the original poster, who is clearly starting shit against Americans. England does say shit you moron.
Also, lol i trol u
I can't believe you guys think I'm that thickheaded, but holy **** I'm surprised at the amount of hate flying back my way. I have nothing against the UK and I actually someday hope to visit it, but the thread started out as a joke and I kept it that way, but apparently people from the UK (who, according to you, don't say shit) started flipping shit on me.
Also, lol i trol u
I can't believe you guys think I'm that thickheaded, but holy **** I'm surprised at the amount of hate flying back my way. I have nothing against the UK and I actually someday hope to visit it, but the thread started out as a joke and I kept it that way, but apparently people from the UK (who, according to you, don't say shit) started flipping shit on me.
I undertand what your saying,
But this is a controversial topic and some of your "joke" posts don't seem so much as a joke. In fact if you hadn't of pointed out you were trying to keep with a joke I wouldn't have known.
You have to see why some people may be mad at you?
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