(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); I am willing to love all mankind, except an American


America is one long expectoration


The American has no language, he has a dialect, slang, provincialism, accent and so forth


Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up


America is the only nation in history which has gone miraculously gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilisation


If there was ever an aviary overstocked with jays it is that Yaptouwn on the Hudson called New York


If your going to America, bring your own food


When you become used to never being alone, you may consider yourself Americanised


No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public


If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell


California is a fine place to live. if you happen to be an orange


Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz


It was wonderful to find America, put perhaps it would have been more wonderful to miss it


All American writing gives me the impression that Americans don't care for girls at all. What the American male really wants is two things: he wants to be blown by a stranger while reading a newspaper and he wants to be ****ed by his buddy when he's drunk. Everything else is society.


There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.


Their ... demeanour is invariably morose, sullen, clownish and repulsive. I should think there is not, on the face of the earth, a people so entirely destitute of humour, vivacity, or the capacity of enjoyment.


The American nation in the sixth ward is a fine people; they love the eagle — on the back of a dollar.


No one can be as calculatedly rude as the British, which amazes Americans, who do not understand studied insult and can only offer abuse as a substitute.


Knavery seems to be so much the striking feature of its inhabitants that it may not in the end be an evil that they will become aliens to this country.


The organisation of American society is an interlocking system of semi-monopolies notoriously venal, an electorate notoriously unenlightened, misled by a mass media notoriously phoney.


Sir, they are a race of convicts and ought to be grateful for anything we allow them short of hanging.

The American has no language. He has dialect, slang, provincialism, accent and so forth.


If you're going to America, bring your own food.


Americans are people who laugh at African witch doctors and spend 100 million dollars on fake reducing systems.


There won't be any revolution in America ... the people are too clean. They spend all their time changing their shirts and washing themselves. You can't feel fierce and revolutionary in a bathroom.


The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide open spaces surrounded by teeth.


Question: If you find so much that is unworthy of reverence in the United States, why do you live here?
Mencken: Why do men go to zoos?


The American political system is like fast food - mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some.


The national dish of America is menus.


Frustrate a Frenchman, he will drink himself to death; an Irishman, he will die of angry hypertension; a Dane, he will shoot himself; an American, he will get drunk, shoot you, then establish a million dollar aid programme for your relatives. Then he will die of an ulcer.


America ... where laws and customs alike are based on the dreams of spinsters.

In America everybody is of the opinion that he has no social superiors, since all men are equal, but he does not admit that he has no social inferiors.


Here is the difference between Dante, Milton and me. They wrote about hell and never saw the place. I wrote about Chicago after looking the town over for years and years.


The 100% American is 99% idiot.


The American male doesn't mature until he has exhausted all other possibilities.


In the four corners of the globe, who reads an American book? or goes to an American play? or looks at an American picture or statue? What does the world yet owe to America's physicians and surgeons? ... Who drinks out of American glasses? or eats from American plates? or wears American coats and gowns? or sleeps in American blankets? Finally, under which of the old tyrannical governments of Europe is every sixth man a slave, whom his fellow creatures may buy and sell and torture?


In America any boy may become President, and I suppose that's just the risk he takes.


New York is a city of 7,000,000 so decadent that when I leave it I never dare look back lest I turn into salt and the conductor throw me over his left shoulder for good luck.


I found there a country with thirty-two religions and only one sauce.


America ... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.


America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair.


Speaking of New York as a traveller I have two faults to find with it. In the first place there is nothing to see; and in the second place there is no mode of getting about to see anything.


I heard an Englishman, who had been long resident in America, declare that in following, in meeting, or in overtaking, in the street, on the road, or in the field, at the theatre, the coffee-house, or at home, he had never overheard Americans conversing without the word DOLLAR being pronounced between them. Such unity of purpose ... can ... be found nowhere else, except... in an ant's nest.


It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practise either of them.


The hatred Americans have for their own government is pathological ... at one level it is simply thwarted greed: since our religion is making a buck, giving a part of that buck to any government is an act against nature.
Gore Vidal, US writer

The Americans, like the English, probably make love worse than any other race.


It is absurd to say that there are neither ruins nor curiosities in America when they have their mothers and their manners.


Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.


In America the President rules for four years and journalism governs for ever and ever.


When good Americans die, they go to Paris; when bad Americans die, they go to America.


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PLEASE POST A REPLY WITH YOUR FAVOURITE ONE!

man this is the worst thread ever, a noob asking for challenge lobby is way more usefull then this.

---------- Post added at 08:30 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:25 AM ----------



actually your wrong, we were helping the british before we got bombed. we were sending our supplies and some troops to help u guys but then when japan bombed us we split the army in half and sent half to fight japan and half to europe:black:

No offense or anything but 99% of these jokes aren't even funny :/

if us hadn't intervened then it would still be in the depression. The war brought the US's manufacturing up and the economy up in the rush for the war. So we have to thank the japanese

Oh well played. You just proved how America is better by spending almost 10 times more on National Defence than a country which is 9.4 million km squared smaller.

Hell, not that it's doing much. You couldn't even conquer Cuba, an island half the size of the UK. You can't keep people from crossing the Mexican border plus you spend most of that money developing weapons to blow Iron Age nations back to the Stone Age.

As for your GDP, you sell arms to Middle Eastern nations who will eventually turn around and use those same weapons against you. It's that, or beef. Al Qaida doesn't need to fly planes into American buildings to cause terror, they just have to go around infecting cows with BSE and watch as your economy crashes overnight. It took us years to recover from that.



Helping? You were selling weapons and expected us to pay you back, which we did. I know that a lot of US military officers had requested and even volunteered for UK service and their sacrifices should not be forgotten or underestimated, but when it came to actual military hardware and rebuilding, you wanted every dollar back.

Scottish insults are the best

I believe this is an insult thread towards America.
It is not a WW2 thread.
The thread was made to post insults towards America with no offence intended.
Do not be so insulted by an entertainment thread.
Now grow a pair Sally and get in the kitchen.

who the f**k is Sally?

This thread makes me want to drink some tea and eat some crumpets.

I would prefer a big cheese burger and a coke.